As I’m writing this, outside it’s freezing cold: -15 degrees C at just 11:30. Although if you just looked outside my window it will well be misleading, as the Sun is up and shining. But the frost is also biting! So, with that being said, we’re starting today’s article with me being all bundled up with my laptop sitting on my lap, inside my home-office.
A year ago, I gradually got the urge to look over my faith. I was born into a Christian Greek-Orthodox family, knew the general stuff, believed that God existed, but that was about it. This black book that my dad gifted me back in 2006, was staring at me from the shelf, and one day I picked it up. "Let's really see what these stories teach me!". But that was just the beginning. The best part of my life was yet to come.
I agree that life is a process and you need to come back to it over and over again. I know that things aren’t fixed and reality can change in the blink of an eye. Mine surely did on the day of my diagnosis! Most people choose a more spiritual life path when they’re faced with a crisis in their lives. When something happens to them, they need to cope and search for something outside of them that might help.
We’re all on a lookout for some kind of spiritual experience, something that will transcend us and hopefully transform us from the inside-out and get us out of this mindless living pattern. In today’s world, the ability to decide what type of spirituality we follow is made easy by the multitude of choices that are at our reach: meditation, mindfulness, yoga, retreats, and all that jazz. Our pick becomes part of our identity and for that needs to feel authentic to us. And although you might have heard me talk all about yoga, meditation and letting the energy flow, there came a point in my life when all that left me empty once again.
We live in a digital world, have all the social media networks, tons of friends and followers, all the things we can buy at our discretion, but we feel alone. Somehow not quite understood. The things we cherish most are those close bonds we get to have with the people we love.
Something is clearly missing from the picture and our lives can get pretty mechanical and without purpose. The gloomy picture I’m painting here has nothing to do with the nasty weather outside. It has more to do with that inside feeling we all have when nothing ever pleases us anymore.
Gathering material possessions won’t make us happy forever. The clutter we create by buying so much stuff is there to compensate for the lack, the void we feel within ourselves. Once we outgrow our passions, all that until yesterday we thought was exciting becomes today the most boring thing ever.
Little by little, we become robots, we imitate, we follow fashions, man-made role-models, watch TV shows, movies, go to concerts, go on vacations, to parties, to work, to a pub, to a birthday… And it’s exhausting. It damages both our bodies and our souls. The sad part is that not so many people are aware of this and most of them never do anything.
Most of us (especially in our 20’s and 30’s) are overwhelmed, our minds are racing and we have a gazillion things to do on our lists but nothing seems to make us truly happy or peaceful.
Through all this inner search, the only thing that was left standing were the prayers I learned when I was little and the need to somehow getting closer to God.
“As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”
(Steve Jobs - Stanford Commencement Speech - 2005)
With the help of The Bible Project (@thebibleproject) reading plan and their digitally drawn video Bible stories, I dove deep. By December 24th 2016, I've finished reading it all, minus the so-called Apocryphal texts.
This year I'm continuing my journey by reading the entire Bible a second time, looking at how Jesus is being foreshadowed and God's love for us even when He punishes us. Also going in parallel with the Apocryphal chapters, for a 360 view on the topic.
The smartest choice I've made so far is to constantly search for Jesus in all there is around me. Being the curious person that I am, I even researched HIM in great detail. No regrets there! He is my daily companion in whatever I do, and definitely my biggest resource for all things personal or business.
Imagine having a best friend that will never leave or let you down, that will always tell the truth about who you are through your conscience and who although will sanction you for your mistakes, will always love you and care for you no matter what happens. Jesus is a personable God, one that you can establish a connection with. He never leaves us. We’re the ones who always leave Him. And that’s when all those bad things happen to us. All.The.Time!
Why search for inner peace in a form of energy or in a universal field, in a guided meditation? The world today is full of logical, scientific and factual data on spirituality, the power of the mind and so on. But brain anatomy and how to control brainwaves are a million miles away from our hearts. Faith speaks to the heart, but it only works if you choose to be humble and honestly admit your failures and mistakes.
I agree that each one of us has choices and free-will. Just come and see! Experience it for yourself. Make it intentional and explore. You first have to believe in order to have faith. Some connection needs to happen within you. Some distress, some suffering that knocks your world upside down and that nothing seems to heal you. Believe with all your heart and ask for help.
May you all have a wonderful year, guys! Let me know if you'd like to read more stories like this or are interested in details of my journey. God bless you, no matter your beliefs!
Until next time, have a wonderful day!
Denisa
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