“I pirouette in the dark
I see the stars through a mirror
Tired mechanical heart
Beats 'til the song disappears

Somebody shine a light
I'm frozen by the fear in me
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
So cut me from the line
Dizzy, spinning endlessly
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me”

(Lindsey Stirling featuring Lzzy Hale - Shatter Me)


I oftentimes wake up at seven in the morning already feeling anxious or with my mind racing over my to-do list. It’s like I wake up starting the race, and then I go on through my day running, but the only running really goes on inside my head. And it’s exhausting!

We seem to not have time to just sit anymore. Simply stand still and let our minds relax and just be… just enjoy the moment. We are so wired to technology and to a responsive state, that we lose all of our connection to the outside world. And technology is just a bleep in this whole chaotic picture.

We are wired for connection. For feeling close to other people. Today’s society is disconnecting. Work is disconnecting. Technology is disconnecting. We have less and less time to spend with our own thoughts, in contact with what we feel, and thus we become more and more disconnected from ourselves.

Society is fast-forwarding us to progress and pushing us more and more over the edge.

Underneath a calm expression, there can exist tons and tons of emotional pain. Things that happened, things that hurt us, things that remained unresolved. Too often this anger becomes pointed towards ourselves, the only one responsible for the state we’re in is our own person.

We criticize, judge, and even physically tend to hurt ourselves in order to no longer feel those negative emotions. We no longer know how to deal with them. We become disconnected from the rituals the old society had.

Our brains process it all and sometimes they make mistakes. Given our chaotic lives, the brain strives to adapt, but overuse can lead to trouble.


It’s that feeling that something in our lives is missing. And in the search for it, we can get hurt. And with strained relationships and constant disconnection, there’s no one there to catch us if we fall. That’s what we miss. That’s what we always look for: relationships. Meaningful ones, to be understood, cared for, accepted and loved. Loved with all our faults, quirks and ideas. Loved for who we are and for whom we might become.


But out there is nothing but shame. People only see the negative side, people are fearful of what they don’t know or don’t understand. They need to be told that mental health is just as important as physical health. If someone has a mental illness, things can get better.

There’s this stigma that sees mental illness as dangerous, but in fact is more self-harming than a threat to others. Outside anger might come from feeling misunderstood one times to many, from feeling alone and scared. Because our minds can become a scary place. An overwhelming, non-stop chatting, scary place.

We feel trapped inside a parallel reality, full of fears, shadows and pain. But the truth and the light are out there. We forget that we are more than our thoughts. The mind only fulfills its duty: thinking. When it overthinks, that’s when we need to press pause. Unplug from the hamster wheel that we call modern life and return to ourselves.

The answer we’re all looking for is not in our thoughts, not in our fears or anger. It’s hidden inside us. In fact, it’s not even hiding. It has been there all along, waiting for us to remember it. Do you know who you once were? Do you still remember the kid inside? It’s all there. Your reasons, motivations, dreams and hopes. Buried under years and years of neglect and stress.


I see mental health issues as a signal from the kid we all have inside us. And it’s not pure fantasy. We all look for happiness and a life without concerns. We all want to be loved and want to pursue our dreams. We all love and want to be loved. We all feel hurt by people and we regret hurting others. That’s the kid talking to you.

Everytime you fight these issues, your youngest self is searching for giving and receiving love. Is looking for something to help it rediscover the world as it once saw it. That world is still there. We build modern society upon it.


The way I always find my way back is through letting go of the apparent control I we all think we have over what’s happening to and around us. I let go and accept the situation I find myself in. Then, I begin to search for lessons and solutions that are going to help me go through my emotional or physical pain better. For me, the guide that is always with me is Jesus Christ. More about my journey and lessons learned, HERE.

When I accept that I can’t control my situation, I take it as is, go through it and have patience to be transformed. Every experience that we have changes us in one way or another. I choose to take the lesson and be grateful that I have the opportunity to learn and grow. Even through suffering, pain and fear.  


I used to despise being hurt, be it physically or emotionally. I hated feeling not enough and rejected by others. But then I realised that those things were the truth I had chosen to see. I was trapped into poisoning my own mind with helpless thoughts: “Why me? Why is this happening to me? Why don’t bad people develop multiple sclerosis?” and a whole bunch more.

It might be hard to digest, understand or accept, but suffering happens with a reason: to make us humble again. To clean our hearts and minds of all the negativity we have stored in them throughout. We are bombarded with being competitive, always on the run, always striving to become the best at our craft, always working… and never really being present.


Life is fleeting. A moment is just a bleep on our screens. Life is much more than a rat race. Life is about living vulnerably, about accepting your challenges and understanding that you are not alone in this.

All over the world, there are people who have struggles that you know nothing about. Worse struggles, easier ones, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that counts is feeling grateful for what you have now, because somebody else might not even have that chance. Who am I to complain and rebel against life?

Anger never built anything. Negativity only destroys. Keep those inside your heart and they will certainly destroy you.

You suffer to become aware of your own self. Look at what you have, look at how you can do to help others. Accept yourself just the way you are and work to better the things that you feel could be better.

The choice is always yours to make. The outcome is not in your hands. Let go. God always knows what He’s doing.


#WorldMentalHealthDay 2016 (yes, it was yesterday)

  1. Journal - one of the best ways to switch off that overthinking mind is to create space inside it. Write down all your concerns, fear, angsts and emotions. Once on paper, they will look more real and measurable. You can then analyze them and see that they’re not real. Look around you, life is beautiful even if it’s not perfect.
  2. Help others - take time to be there for others that need you. Find a cause to help on, teach people how to deal with things you’ve already been through, help with the dishes, with a kind word, be there for someone and just listen to them, comfort them and make them understand that you’re there to comfort them.
  3. Reach out to people and talk about your problems - remember the journaling at no. 1? It can be used to better understand your own thoughts and become able to tell them to others. Talk to people you trust and love, a psychologist, a priest, whatever choice you have. The thing is, talking about what you’re going through leads to being understood and finding a solution to your inner struggle.
  4. Reconnect to yourself - let go of always being in charge. Take time to enjoy the things you’ve already achieved, sit and have a chat with your own self. Sit still and simply begin to enjoy your presence, without anything attached to it. Listen to your favorite music, read the Bible, become aware of how it feels to live inside your body. Yet again journaling is helpful. Write these feelings and thoughts down. Let them go on paper.
  5. Sleep more - the relative amount of sleep needed by an adult is between 8-9 hours / night. Make the choice of going to bed in time to be able to sleep that much before you wake up. During sleep, the brain cleans out toxins created throughout the day, while thinking, feeling and taking care of all the operations that your body did.
  6. Eat better - good nutrients feed the body and help rise the levels of energy. Foods like vegetables, fruit, pickled vegetables, rice, fish and lean meats, nuts and seeds are proven to make the body stronger and healthier if consumed regularly, as part of a lifestyle choice.
  7. Move your body - we have mobile joints, because we were made to move, not sit on the couch all day long. It can be comfortable, especially when holding a heavy tablet or while keeping one’s eyes on Facebook and Instagram all day. But the body needs to move its muscles. Exercise gets rid of pain, stiffness, makes you more alert and even more happy, through the release of endorphins, hormones that make you feel good.
  8. Be grateful for what you have and let go of control - look at what you do have, realistically. All hardship and trauma can be overcomed. All past negative things are now gone and you are still standing. You did good! Keep on being strong and learn from your experiences. Feel the gratitude; why are certain things important to you? Remember that things don’t always go the way we plan them and that’s OK. The things that we can act upon is our choices. Choose life, choose to become wiser.

Every human is important and worthy. The main thing is that you are not alone. Most people feel the same way, but few speak up. We all have the need to heal our mental health, because the world we live in needs healing. One human at a time.

Accept to be shattered. Life needs a little chaos before it smoothes out things again. It’s the only way we grow. We have both positive and negative emotions. They’re part of us.

Liked this post? Let me know if you’d want me to write a more extensive piece on this topic, or on smaller topics from it. Would love to hear your opinion on this! Leave your comments down below.


Let's Talk About Sex. A Brief Overview on MS and Sexuality (Part 1) | SMart Choice Lifestyle

WARNING! Neuro and anatomy geek down below! This is where I get nerdy about how the brain and body work together. Continue at your own risk! :))

We all do it. We all enjoy it (hopefully!). We talk about these issues with our partners and friends. But there comes Multiple Sclerosis and it all goes silent. I personally find this silence very intriguing. Is it the shame of having MS itself or the shame of not being able to enjoy it / do it as much because of MS? I am aware that some people might naturally not feel comfortable talking about this, but that's not the topic we're after today.

Either way, I think sexuality when dealing with MS is an issue that needs some light shed upon it. And this is what I'm going to do in this article today. Just to make things clear from the very beginning: not everyone with MS will experience sex problems!

I think it's useful to learn as much as you can about how MS symptoms affect your day to day life, just so that by "knowing your enemy" and your body, you'll have better coping techniques if anything goes wrong. Hoping for the better and without further adue, let's start!

Don't get your expectations too high, boys and girls! You're not gonna read about steamy techniques or how to perform better. It's ANATOMY time!

If you're still reading, it means I got my point across already. So, let's get into some details and more specific things. When I first heard that sexual disfunction could be one of the symptoms of MS, I began asking myself questions. Why does it happen and most of all... how? Enter research-mode! Here is what I found out...


We know that in MS, the disease affects different nerves in the body. Some of them control our sexual function (arousal, climaxing, etc). When inflammation and damage happens to those particular brain pathways, some signals might get disturbed and interfere with the function itself. Not to mention that there can be other symptoms that can prove to be disturbing and not allowing you to even think about sex in the first place, let alone worry about not feeling aroused properly!

Our brains are the the biggest sex organs in our bodies. They are responsible for all things ranging from our emotions, perceptions of pain and pleasure, memories. In charge with the way our hearts, nerves and sensations perform. Most of all, the brain (the hypothalamus region) is involved in secreting the hormones that influence sexual feelings and responses (oxytocin, vasopressin, serotonin, dopamine). 

The brain receives and processes messages from our sensory organs, giving you information about how other things and people (including yourself) look, sound, taste, smell, feel to you. It also sends and receives signals regarding your blood pressure, heart rate, breath and body temperature. These are all big parts of sexual function, experience and response.

Sex is a type of communication between two humans, at a very intimate level. It's also a communication between the brain and the rest of your body. Sexuality happens mostly inside our brains, as all its parts are regulated there: physical, sensory, chemical, emotional, psychological, intellectual, social, cultural issues are all born between the synapses of the brain.

It's important to know how the brain does all its "magic" that makes us who we are. For today, I'll talk about the parts of the brains' inner system. Your nervous system is made out of a few parts:

1.  Central Nervous System (CNS) (the brain, spinal cord and optic nerves)
2. Peripheral Nervous System (the nerves that mediate the communication with the world)
a) Somatic Nervous System (the nerves that carry the sensory information to the brain)
b) Autonomic (or Vegetative) Nervous System (which regulates the action/rest responses of all body parts) which is also made out of two smaller parts:
    - Sympathetic Nervous System - handling the action, excitement and keeping you alert;
   - Parasympathetic Nervous System- handling the rest, calming and relaxation functions of the body.

For the sexual act to happen normally, the parasympathetic (relaxation part) needs to dominate the sympathetic (arousal part). If the first loses control, you're faced with premature ejaculation. So, here are a few substances you need to stay away from if you're faced with similar issues: alcohol, smoking, coffee, tea, cola drinks. They all accelerate the sympathetic system (they increase your sense of feeling "nervous", "agitated")

Although our bodies are made with the same pattern, our sensitivity is different. Some areas of the body have more sensory nerve receptors that send the messages to and from the brain. Individual sensitivity is different. 

Past experiences as well as spinal cord integrity are important for how sensitive we are / become to both pain and pleasure. We all have erogenous zones, areas of the body with high sensitivity which we find more sexually stimulating than others. 

Sexual arousal / response and orgasm depend on healthy spinal cord connections and undamaged nerve pathways between the brain and the base of the spine. To understand it properly, we need to divide it into sections:

1. CERVICAL - the area starting from below the skull up until above the ribs;
2. THORACIC - the area of your chest (ribs) up until above the belly;
3. LUMBAR - the area starting below the ribs and up above your lower back;
4. SACRAL - the area below your lower back up until the tailbone;

Out of all the nerves in our bodies, about 20% or them are sexual. We are interested only in the last three areas, as they are the ones responsible for conducting and controlling the sexual function throughout the body. Here we go!

THORACIC - have 3 pairs of sympathetic nerves that innervate the breasts (nipples): 3 nerves on the right and 3 on the left side of the body (the 4th, 5th and 6th thoracic nerves) - they cause the nipples to become erect. Being of the sympathetic type, they transmit signals to the brain whenever the breasts are touched and caressed. At the same time, the body sends signals through the spinal cord to the brain, causing the erection.

LUMBAR - 3 pairs of sympathetic nerves (the 1st, 2nd and 3rd lumbar nerves) - they innervate the penis and the vagina and are activated two times during the sexual act: at the beginning and during the last part, during orgasm/ejaculation.

SACRAL - 3 pairs of parasympathetic nerves (2nd, 3rd and 4th sacral nerves) - they are responsible for prolonging the erection during foreplay and intercourse.

(Side note: I've used the term erection twice now, and I'm refering to both male and female arousal. We'll get more detailed in the second part, where I add more about each genders' sexual system.)


The Pudendal Nerve is located right in the sacral region of the body, at the bottom of the spinal cord and is the main nerve of the perineum. It is the one that innervates the anus, perineum, penis, clitoris and areas around the scrotum.



Its function is to manage the sensations of defecation / urination as well as those of sexual arousal. It does not carry parasympathetic fibers, as it only deals with engaging the organs and muscles in the perineum. 

Its two most important branches are:
- the Perineal Nerve (innervating the perineum area)
- the Dorsal Nerve (innervating the penis and clitoris)

Orgasms and perineal feelings during orgasms (spasms with ejaculation or orgasms) are possible due to both the pudendal and pelvic nerves


So, as you can imagine, any damage happening along any of these detailed pathways can cause issues with sexuality in an individual living with Multiple Sclerosis.

This is one very important aspect for all ages, but it's almost crucial for young people, as it's part of the way they perceive themselves, but most importantly, it is the function that will insure a full relationship with a partner and the ability of creating a family.


It's important to understand how MS is affecting both of you. Blame or accusation and criticizing need to be avoided, as they will always have a negative impact, on the situation and both of you. Talk about your wants, fears and frustrations. Ask questions and be ready to answer theirs.

For some of you, saying things out loud might not be comfortable, so the best alternative is to write what you're experiencing and what are the feelings associated with those issues. You can then either ask your partner to read what you wrote, or have a better ability to talk about the situation yourself.

Explore, remember, try new things. Sexuality is not a fixed thing, it doesn't have to happen by a fixed scenario. Be open minded and work with your partner to find the best way to making your sexual relationship more pleasurable. We are all different and it's a private issue, so you know best what fits you. Make choices accordingly.

Look after yourself and take care of your body. A good diet, regular exercise, enjoying relaxing activities and spending some time on your personal appearance can make wonders. Both to your self-confidence and to how your partner sees you.

Last but not least, learn about how MS works inside your body (and mind). Find out more about how it can affect relationships and sexual function. It will make it easier to understand what you're going through while getting better at explaining it to your partner.

Given this context, this is the first part of many, discussing this topic. So, I invite  you to comment down below, ask questions, write your opinions, and let's make this series an opportunity for mutual learning and discovery. Have you had any issues with this? Do you have anything to add?

The more we learn, the better the outcome. One cannot fight that what is invisible. Let's inform each other! It's the best way to be able to make the smart choices that best suit our lifestyles.

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