The Courage To Be Who You Really Are & What Is This Blog All About l SMart Choice Lifestyle

The shorter version is that SMart Choice Lifestyle was created with the thought of supporting a brain healthy lifestyle with MS, whilst sharing my experiences of living with the condition and all that I do in between. It then transformed into a general MS platform for the Romanian MSers, but that didn’t continue much, as I didn’t think of myself as experimented as to deal with people’s lives and health.

I’m the type of person that if I am not well prepared to do something, I prefer to not do it until I can really do something worth while. So a few months passed, SMart once more became a personal platform, with an intent to inform and give advice on all types of MS-related issues, such as symptoms, diet and lifestyle. It went on as a tri-weekly blog that had predetermined / themed days that I never stopped brainstorming subjects for (exhausting and frustrating to say the least!).

Here I was, with a lot of personal experience to write about, heartfelt and caring topics to approach, and I focused only on giving the “correct information”, the “researched information”. Don’t get me wrong though. I am always documenting and doing my research from multiple sources before I even dare to trust or believe a piece of information, but this process I was going through was so sterile that I could not put up with it no longer.

So I went on vacation for the winter holidays. Three weeks of vacation that is! Time in which I promised myself I wouldn’t stress so much about the blog as I previously did. Was it successful? Of course not! I had on and off ideas, checked my analytics and drafted new articles from fresh topics.

I began 2016 with the same structure in mind, but finally realised that it didn’t do me (or you) any justice. The MS community and myself needed an authentic voice, not a shared-info-in-my-own-view kind of blog. It sounded more fair to me that way. So I went back to the drawing board and came up with the shapes that best represent who I am and what I stand for.

SMart Choice Lifestyle is my online home. A place where I can invite you all to start a conversation about many topics, whilst raising awareness about MS in the process.

Multiple sclerosis currently affects more than 2.5 milion people worldwide. Although it is a recognized serious illness, many people don’t know much about it and how it affects people’s lives and society’s wellbeing as a whole. I must admit that before receiving my diagnosis I was one of those people. I thought the term “sclerosis” meant you were old and unfortunately senile. Boy, was I in for a surprise!

For the past year and a half browsing through the online MS community, I’ve met so many inspiring and strong people who live with MS on a daily basis. These people always have a kind word to say, in spite of their situation. In 2016, I’m looking forward to meet and learn even more from others living with MS and to dedicate most of my time to share from my experience, to try and help each one of them as best as I can.

Since I’ve discovered the online MS community I have felt less alone. I have felt so inspired by the advice and support that I have received in the past. I only hope that I can offer back the same kind of help to fellow MSers who need it a much as I did when starting this chronic journey.

I find it very easy to talk about my illness, so feel free to open a conversation if you want to know more about it. Ask questions and I’ll be happy to answer them for you. MS is nothing to be ashamed or feel vulnerable about. It’s just a disease that happened to me, the person you have already known for years, or that you are just getting to know via this blog.

To be totally honest, it does change the rules of the game a bit. It has made me less tolerant to wasting time on useless, stressful things and conversations, fights or things that are going nowhere. It has made me understand that I’m not that special (as many of us tend to think about ourselves at some point). MS hits randomly and without a known cause. Once it hits, there is no known cure, you have to live with it for the rest of your life.

Who am I to complain about my fate when there are people who deal with even worse situations in their fight with MS? From another point of view, it has helped me become humble, see the greater picture and how we all have a predetermined place in the world.

Everything that happens, every person that we meet and everything we go through is meant to teach us a lesson. Open your eyes. See the lesson behind every aspect of life. You’ll be as surprised as I was to see all that you need to learn!

MS has made me stronger. It has made me realise that we all have a defined purpose in life and that we must do the smart choice (pun intended) and go for the gold! Go do that very thing that scares us the most, but in which we find the most satisfaction and happiness.

This blog is also a platform where I can share my passion for the visual arts, for understanding the intricate web of the human mind and spirituality, whilst writing short stories and essays on various other topics. It is a place where I can let you know how am I doing at yoga practice and what have I learned about neuropsychology and health.

Expect to read posts on all things healthy living, having a balanced lifestyle, yoga struggles and tips and tricks, the belief in the higher power of God, meditation, mindfulness and prayer, soothing the mind, books, stories and writers, photography, movies and music, with an occasional travel diary from wherever my life will bring me to.

Also, be prepared for articles about human psychology, the anatomy of the nervous system, neurology, people’s social behaviour and emotions and how does that all link to living with a chronic illness like MS.

If you got here and didn’t get tired reading all this, if you’re looking forward to being witness and a part of my journey, you might as well sign up to my email list, to be sure you’ll get the three main articles I publish every week, plus an occasional fourth or fifth post when I have something new to share!

Thank you for taking the time to be here!

Until next time, make the SMart Choices for your lifestyle ;)

Love,

Alexandra

P.S. To all my fellow MSers out there: SMILE! It hugs your soul! :)

The Fear of Being Judged and How Can That Mess With Your Online Content

So I’ve been blogging for quite some time now and my inner perfectionist hasn’t been pleased with the results. Each week, I almost forced myself to find new and relevant subjects to write about, making myself forget why I even started SMart Choice in the first place. That alone can get one feel frustration, anxiety and lack of accomplishments.

And then it dawned on me! I was doing it all wrong! A personal blog shouldn’t be built upon what others expect you to write or on what topics you think people might be interested in! Of course you want to put out your best content and make people either feel better about themselves or help their day in one way or another. Of course you want to put out informative and entertaining content that they ask for and/or need at some point.

The part that almost got out of hand is that where I ended up with general subject posts, when all that I wanted to do in the first place is to write from my own point of view, and thus be able to share my story with like-minded people who might be facing the same situations.

But the mind is equally powerful in two ways: it can make or it can brake your ideas. I’ve written before about why I started a platform talking about my MS story and related topics, but the core-reason slipped away.

I remember how alone I used to feel after receiving my diagnosis and all the frustration towards not knowing no one my age that dealed with the same issues. I searched high and low on the internet, stayed away from all the “classic” horror stories one might find and decided to have a place where I can shine a light over this disease and offer a kind word to anyone who might be in the same situation I was.

I had so many things to say, so many stories to share and so much love and encouragement to give, that I focused to much on doing things by the book and ended up leaving myself somewhere along the road, silenced by my own blog. Imagine that! The irony!

I created a fixed structure that aimed to inform, give health tips and lifestyle articles on a weekly basis, touching some of the “hot topics” in the life of an MSer. Things like fatigue, work and changes have been recurrent topics on SMart Choice, and each generated a fair amount of engagement on Twitter and Instagram.

But where did I fit in? I gasped for air as I searched for the authenticity in the story I wanted to tell. I have been totally honest in all of my articles, but something was missing. That something that sparked in an article here and there and then went off in silence.

We all have the fear of being judged and being labeled, even much so when you have a chronic illness that not many people know about. But now I know better! I thought about all the lovely and brave people I’ve got to know over the last year, and that gave me back the courage to speak my own voice. So many MSers out there came into their own and I feel like it’s time for me to do that too.

After all, I am not defined by my illness, but by my power to live life to the fullest, by the things that I am good at and by the kindness I am so wanting to put out in the world. Long story short, I want to rebuild SMart Choice Lifestyle and shape it around the life and the stories I can give to the world. Make it about the point of view that I can add to so many others that are online.

Expect books, short story writing, visual storytelling, yoga, psychology, brain health and more. All that lived on top of what we MSers call “the snowflake disease”, and that others might know as multiple sclerosis.

It feels so good to take that out of my chest! Especially after the massive anxiety attack I had last night. It came out of nowhere and lifted all my senses into flaming fear. But that’s a whole other article. Soon to come!

Sorry if for some of you it might sound a little overdramatic, that’s how my writing tends to be. It’s missing all the voice, gestures and tonallity that you would have when hearing me talk about the same stuff in real life. Curious about any aspect I talk about? Just ask and I’ll be happy to give you an answer as soon as I can.

Lots of love,

Alexandra

Face Your Fears. What's The Worst That Can Happen?

I remember being on a plane with my mom and she being scared from the weird movements it made during some turbulences. I asked her what is the worst thing that can happen? She said that it would be terrible if the plane should fall and we would get injured or worse. As I stood there listening to her, I realised something: the worse thing that could have happened was for the plane to fall, crash and we died. But here’s the ironic part: we are all going to die someday. So what are you afraid of really? I know one of my biggest fears is loss.

We have become accustomed to having all that we want or at least all that we can afford. Today’s society emphasizes consumption and fast moving… everything! Fast tasks, fast solutions, fast food, and so on. But there is no shortcut in life. There is no magic trick that will make you better, richer, healthier. It all resides in you.

You have the power to change things around. You have the abilities to make a difference in your life and / or the life of others around you. But you must be willing to face your fears. 

Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of the unknnown, fear of being dissapointed.. You name it! It’s all based on the central fear of death and of something bad happening to us that will provoke death. It’s scary even to think of it, I know.

What Does Really Scare You?

This brings us to an important point in this discussion: the worst fear is the fear of… fear itself. We get anxious when we don’t know the outcome of someting, we get scared not knowing how our health is going to be tomorrow, a month or a year from now. But you now what? By its nature, life IS unpredictable.

With or without multiple sclerosis, we all face daily challenges that we don’t know how are they going to turn out. We can predict a little bit, but the actual result escapes our grasp. And that’s another issue many of us fight with: being in control. 

That need to be everywhere and do all the things at the same time, and having the best possible outcome also. That’s not possible. And even if you can put up with this kind of routine for a while, you either overburn and crash or you become a machine that will no longer know its purpose after retirement or getting an illness.

My point is: get a hold of your life NOW. Make up your mind about where you want to be in life. Set goals for yourself and act on them daily, with little steps, little tasks that will take you eventually to achieve what you had in mind. It might not be exactly as you planned it in your mind, but you need to do your absolute best in order to get that opportunity.

Even if you don’t have treatment yet, there is no excuse to sit down and complain. I know it’s hard, I know it’s scary, I know it gets you frustrated and angry. But stop the negative mindset, I beg you! You are only doing harm to yourself! Think of the things that you CAN do to improve your life, your health and overall wellbeing.

Fear Is Stopping You From Taking Action

The reason why I’m writing this today is because I realised that inaction is the cause of all bad outcomes. If you stand still and do nothing, you are not allowed to protest, you are not allowed to ask for anything. 

If the only thing you do is sit there and criticize, offend and even hurt others, the only thing you will achieve is only getting yourself even more miserable than you already are. What’s the point in dragging other people around in your pain when you can pull yourself up from that state of mind and do something positive. 

Fundraise, raise awareness of the public opinion, do not just sit there and wait for the Government to give you what you need, don’t wait help from others while you do nothing. Because, guess what? Help is not comming! You got to start by helping yourself first. 

Then go create or join a community of MSsers and welcome everybody in. Don’t grudge and point fingers. You don’t know the stories people have or the problems they had to face to get where they are. Respect yourself and others will do that for you. It’s better for your heart, it’s better for your mind and it’s better for your health.

The Worst-Case Scenario

What is the worse thing that could happen if you stand up for yourself? For me it was losing the possibility and / or access to treatment. But when they did not consult me on the type of medicine I needed to take for my MS, i politely refused. 

I'll say that again: PO-LITE-LY! I was assertive about the reasons behind why I was refusing the interferons. I explained that the side effects were damaging to me and my lifestyle and the best option was Copaxone. 

I was told that the funds for that year were over, and that I must now wait for the next opening in the National Program. I asked when will that be, and I was told at the beginning of the new year. There will be a selection process, my file will be submitted to the comission that made the approvals, and when and if I get through, they will let me know. 

And that was it!

Christmas was approaching and I had no treatment and did not know when, if and how my MS will or will not flare up. I did not know if I will be eligible for receiving treatment. And most of all I WAS SCARED SHI@#$SS! 

But I accepted my decision and that was that! If a repalse or many were to happen, how could I stop them? Even with treatment, if your MS is active, it has its way with you. It’s true that it slows down the process, but you still have a brain eating disease. Your very own zombie! Oh, and you are going to grow old, get sick and die eventually. Why have fear?

Wrapping Things Up!

Accept your fears, aknowledge them, but move on. Think of the worst case scenario and then work on how would you get over those situations, how would you overcome them? Make an action plan, write it down if you need to, put it somewhere safe and go on living your day.

See you in the next post!

Yours truly,

Alexandra

P.S. What’s your biggest fear concerning MS? How are you planning to overcome that fear in case it becomes a reality? I would love to know your opinions. You can share them on Facebook, Twitter (hashtag #SMartMS) or send me an email at smartchoice.livingwithms@gmail.com. Thank you for reading!

(photo credit)

Making The SMart Choice & Why Should You Care About It

What happens when you get diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis? Your mind begins to shift. Either you make a turn for the better or one for the worse, you are never the same person. You just had a life altering experience. And you are faced with a lot of responsibility and choices or with denial and continuing as before.

How It All Started

Last year I had a head full of questions regarding the lifestyle choices I needed to make. Being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis shifts your point of view more than a little. It was clear to me that spending my life the way I was spending it before, was no longer an option.

New choices were needed. New ways of living so that my body and mind would be in their best shape and health possible, and as free of inflammation as I possibly could.

And so began a long process of educating and changing myself on the topic. I have always felt empowered by information and knowledge. I began searching infomation on MS, nutrition, exercise, diagnosis tools, lifestyle hacks and so, so much more. It was and still is the one thing I do on a daily basis: staying on top of it all and taking charge of my life. I consider it to be mandatory. Only then we have the right to complain.

You Have To Help Yourself

I know I might sound ruthless to some people, but that’s how life works: you have to be assertive and fight for yourself. Nobody else cares. You have to take charge, make changes and help yourself first. 

People tend to pay attention more to people who fight against the odds, and for a better life. If you stay there and do nothing but complain, get angry at the world and expect others to cater for your needs, you are in for a big dissapointment.

Nobody is gonna save you. Nobody but yourself!

Life is rarely fair. Life is rarely easy. Things don’t just happen as money does not grow on trees (except it has fallen off from a helicopter right onto one, but that’s just Sci-Fi stuff :)) ). We all have struggles in this world. We all fight battles that nobody else knows about.

We might seem as picture-perfect and as happy as can be when we are out in public. But late at night, when we lay our heads on the pillow, we all have dreams, pains, wishes and hurts. We all feel, suffer, and have our own issues. So don’t judge a person. You don’t know what it takes for that smile you see or for the words you read.

If today I have the SMart Choice blog and you read all these stories full of metaphors and positivity, know that it has been a long way to get here. The journey is still going.

Behind all of this there are endless hours of research, endless planning and ideas, ongoing drafting and organizing. 

There are countless moments when I feel fear for my future, when I felt out of place, when I felt this blog had no purpose and then found it again. There are moments when I struggle to get in front of you and deliver the best article I can, to deliver positivity and encouragements. There are moments when I struggle through cog-fog and fatigue. There are moments when I panic as numbness suddenly starts or my eye getts blurry.

It's All About The Mindshift

But you know what? I breathe in and out profoundly, and repeat to myself that this too shall pass, and I get strong again. I push through, I get up and brush the dust off, and I move on with my day.

SMart Choice is one of my purposes in life. It is my way of lending a helping hand and making my mind heard and my ideas encourage someone. 

If only just one person feels better after reading SMart Choice, my day is a success. The aim is to make people face the truth: yes, life is hard. 

Life with MS is harder still. But what do you do? Give up or fight?

It’s not easy, it’s not pretty, it doesn’t matter if you have treatment or not. It’s all in the mindset. In the way you push through each and every day to move onwards, always onwards.

You have been given a life. Make smart choices. Make the choices good for you, the ones that suit your life. Design your own lifestyle around MS. Keep it boxed in or it will box you in.

Designing A Diet

I began eliminating all harmful items. I gave up smoking ever since I had the first neurological consult, as I did not feel up to it any more. I felt that I should not do it until my situation was clear. That day, when I came back from the clinic, I had my last ciggarette. I’ve never touched them since.

The next rational choice was giving up coffee, coke and all the sodas I had been drinking so far. Water and tea became my new best friends.

Gluten came next. All white flours: bread, pasta, pizzas… they were all gone from my diet. I made the choice to be healthy, and not to feel bloated.

Sugar and dairy were a bit more difficult to let go. Bread and carbs were never my favourite things to eat, so the choice was easy. Chocolate and yoghurt were a different issue. They’ve been on and off my diet untill about 2 months ago. I let them go for good. I made the choice to get rid of all possible inflammation in my body.

My diet is made up out of simple foods. Food that is as close to its natural form as possible. No frying, just baking, grilling and steaming. Chicken, turkey, beef, fish and seafood. Organ meats, seeds and nuts. Fresh fruit and vegetables. Limitting the starches to only two servings per week, if any (potatoes, rice).

No refined or hydrogenated oils/fats like sunflower oil or margarine. Only avocados, olives, olive oil and coconut oil. Of course, consumed in moderation, as they are still fats.

The only sugar I consume is raw honey. I found a beekeeper and I buy locally, not from the supermarket. Mix three tablespoons of raw honey and coconut oil with six tablespoons of raw cocoa, add a few drops of your favourite aroma (vanilla, rum), a pinck of salt and maybe a few pistachios, and you have the best sugar free and safe home-made chocolate!

Designing An Exercise Routine

After constant trying and testing, I found that my body thrives on gentle movements and cardio. Every morning I get up and exercise my strength, flexibility, balance and endurance. Every day! 

Every day I get up on my stationary bike and pedal as much as my body allows me. I do 30 to 60 minutes of yoga to stretch and flex my muscles and joints. I work with my dumbells and raise my body’s resistance. 

It’s an ongoing process. I do as much as my body allows me but I show up every single day. I choose this lifestyle. 

I prepare for war. If my MS wakes up someday, I will be here to face it, as strong as I can be.

Designing Peace of Mind & Relaxation

Don’t forget your mind. If left alone, it can become your worst enemy. Fear, anger and depression could creep up any time. 

Take time to relax, unwind and just be still. For 10-15 minutes stop whatever you’re doing and just stand still and do nothing. Think nothing. Pay attention to your breath. Pay attention to what’s going on inside your body.

I found journaling helps. Five minutes in the morning and five minutes in the evening are enough to write down what are you grateful for this day, what your mindset it and how are you feeling overall. Make up your own main points you’ll want to write about. Personalize it.

This too is an ongoing process. It takes practice and determination. I can tell you from my own experience: it is hard to do this! The mind is a crazy monkey! But with time and practice, it does shut up. Trust me! 

Take time to rest. Nap when possible. Do some stretches throughout the day. Take it easy. Work hard, at your job and at your life. 

It is not given to you. You must work for it. Little by little. Day by day.

SMart Purpose

This blog is where I talk about my struggles. It’s where I give advice, it’s where I share knowledge and keep you accountable for designing your healthy new lifestyle. 

You have to make choices. You have to make smart choices that help you on your MS journey. Living with MS is not easy, but with the right mindset, it can be done.

Sincerely,

Alexandra

P.S.: If you want to know more about the SMart Choice journey, send me your questions via message over the Contact page or via email smartchoice.livingwithms@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you. Meanwhile, join the SMart community on Facebook and Twitter. Thank you for the visit!

The Maya Of Being Beautiful, Smart & Healthy

Do you believe in magic? Mass consumption says you do. Mass media says you do. Our society lives in a bubble, denying and masking chronic illnesses. Denying and masking people who live with chronic conditions and glorifying beauty, intelligence and health. Imperfections and disease scare us. All human beings are afraid of rejection and death. Let us reveal the illusion in today’s article. Read along…

The term “maya” comes from sanskrit and literally means “illusion” and “magic”. Today’s society is an exclusive magic show, which only features beautiful, smart and healthy individuals. You see it all the time and all around. TV shows, movies, billboards, commercials, glossy magazines. You hear about it all day long. At your favorite cafe, at work, at home, at meetings with friends. The maya is all around you.

But you have multiple sclerosis and the maya does not know how to portray something that is not glitz and glamour so you feel rejected.

Wake up and breathe!

Let’s repeat the last part: an illusion rejected you. Something superficial, man-made and elitist. What does that say about your personal value? Absolutely nothing. You are a member of society, your own person, with quiks, loves, likes, hates, dislikes, dreams, succeses, failures, families, jobs, oh! And MS! That’s considered your flaw. A condition you got randomly, to which there is no identified cause and no known cure.

Maravellous! Let’s outcast every person who does not fit the maya! Imagine what our world would have been if there would be no flaws, no mistakes, no trouble, no pain, only perfection! Welcome to the Planet of The Apes! That’s where we would be still. We would not have evolved, because we wouldn’t have known adversity.

OK, OK, the natural selection issue! Let’s talk about that too. Nature and society have a common system: what cannot adapt, will perrish. And it’s fair for about five minutes in today’s society. People with MS are already members of communities, have contributed to the greater good in one way or another, they pay taxes and all. It’s just misconception. Lack of awareness.

Old age, disease and death are a natural outcome for all of us. We tend to reject what we fear most. But the three are going to happen to all of us sooner or later. It’s just what you do with and in that time in between that matters. Human beings need to have a purpose. We need to feel and be useful. We need to feel apreciated and loved. We need to feel normal.

By rejecting chronic conditions, people only reinforce the maya. They passively support the frivolity and lack of meaning in today’s media and consumption. They deny what is inherently human: to be a social creature, to be useful and supported. Pretending not to see old age, dissability and death is not going to make them dissapear.

The maya eventually falls. And then you must face the truth. Have it easy and start educating yourself on these matters now.

Multiple sclerosis makes no discrimination. It occurs randomly. A cure must be found soon.

The maya is not imune to the russian roulette of life.

Sincerely,

Alexandra

Question: Did you ever had to confront the maya? Come join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter! Thank you for your engagement!