How to Accept, Adapt, Overcome. Choosing the Positive in Any Situation | SMart Choice Lifestyle

We all make choices daily. Between 20 - 40 years old we make the most important decisions for our future in terms of job / career, relationships, family, etc. This is the same time we think of ourselves as being invincible. Or at least that’s what we like to believe. I talk mostly about MS because it’s what I know better, but the following words can be applied to all chronic illnesses.

The truth is that in most cases, life chooses FOR us. It makes us confront situations in which we have to decide what road to take. Being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis is one of those moments. You get the feeling that your life is now over, that you no longer have the freedom to choose.

Actually, the real choices are just starting. Now it’s the moment in which you choose if you either give up or keep moving forward. If you choose to fight. And as with any fight, you need a strategy. You need information about the enemy. When you don’t know who and how is attacking, you become physically, mentally and emotionally vulnerable. Now it’s the moment when you have to make the conscious choice of moving forward.

In 2016, on World MS Day, we talked about independence. Although some of us have trouble being on their own two feet, we never lose our ability to choose. Being informed about what MS is, what it can do to you and how to cope with whatever it might throw at you, restores that independence. It has the power to free your mind and transform your life, empowering you to make the lifestyle decisions that can really improve both your health and quality of life.

Know what your options are at any given time. Being informed about that is the real meaning of “knowledge is power” - you can then make choices.

“May your choices reflect your HOPES, not your fears.”

(NELSON MANDELA)

Accept that there are some things that you CAN do and others that you CAN’T (are out of reach). Focus on what you do have and how that helps you go forward and grow as a person.

Accepting illness as chronic doesn’t mean you suddenly become hopeless. Hope is always there. But when associated with the wish of getting back to the state you were BEFORE the diagnosis, things might get tough. Having expectations for something that might not return to its initial state is standing in deep anxiety, blocked and scared waiting. The reality is that you have to make the best of each day with what you have been given.

There is always a way out of things, a way to make them better, a positive turn to things. No matter how bleak the horizon seems, there are always choices that can be made: you can either go on or stop then and there. What choice you make influences the outcome. Not deciding anything is also… a choice. And like any of them, it does have consequences. Choose to grow, to better yourself, to heal.

After suffering a loss of some type, you need to understand that things are never going to be the same again and be OK with that. Things in life are bound to change anyway. We assign so much control to our days, that when some external force takes something away from us, we feel like we lost the compass and our reason to continue living.

Rebelling against faith and being hard headed about wanting things to go back the way they were will get you nowhere. It will only bring frustration, anger and sadness. An experience just changed you. Things aren’t going back.

But you are still here. You’ve been given a second opportunity and a great challenge.

As much as you want to go back, imagine using that same energy to rebuild yourself from scratch. It’s like surviving an earthquake. Let me paint the picture. You seem to have lost it all, and all you have left around are broken pieces. Whatever’s destroyed can no longer be brought back. In that situation you begin to rebuild whichever way you can and go back to living your life sooner or later.

Having lost a part of you, either physically, emotionally or even a loved one has the same effect. You’ve been put down by life’s challenges, but at the same time, you have the pieces from which to rebuild yourself even better than before. You are stronger, you are a survivor of loss, but richer in experience and life lessons. Clean your life of all bad things. Look at what you can learn from all that happened.

After going through hardship, what is the story that you tell yourself about the situation you’re in? How do you describe it? How does it make you feel? What do you feel most insecure about? What would you have done about those insecurities before? What can you do now, given the present conditions? Think of alternate solutions. Plan. Act.

Adapt to your present conditions and decide to only look closer at the positives and what you CAN do, leaving the birds-eye view for the negative ones. Learn which are the best ways that help you cope and get used to your new normals. Life with MS is not a fight. There are always reasons to smile more and rebuild your life from the ground up. That’s when you begin to transform and understand that inside of you there are all the tools that will help you overcome the hardships you’re facing. You just have to choose to look at those tools, pick them up and start using them.

How would you encourage others in a similar situation? What would you teach them? What do they need to do?

Until next time, have a wonderful day!

Denisa

Food, Exercise and Rest. Improve Your Brain Health and Get Stronger to Fight MS

Today’s article is centered on a topic that has been part of my MS management strategy since the month of being diagnosed. It’s the first thing that came to mind: how can I take care of my body in order to minimize the possible effects this condition might have on me at some point.

It might seem like common sense to eat well, get your body moving and having a good night’s sleep, but in dealing with MS, they become crucial, as your body is attacking itself and needs all the help that it can receive in order to have a chance to fight back.

MS is primarily or at its early stages an inflammatory disease. To me it makes a lot of sense to do your best to reduce that inflammatory state. All these three elements are potent inflammation fighters, if used right and on a regular basis.

FOOD

Our bodies constantly renew cells, giving us new tissues, organs and a whole new body in just a few years. This is why what we eat it crucial to our health. 

Imagine your body as a dirty glass, the dirt in it being all the junk and processed foods we have, all the toxins and damage done by intestinal inflammatory processes throughout our lives. And now imagine opening the faucet and letting fresh water pour over the glass. What happens? At first, nothing much, the water fills the cup and then overflows. But if you let it on, the dirt will finally clean away, it will melt and let the glass cleaner. Not entirely clean, there will be harder bits remaining (scars), but you’ll end up with a clearer vessel. 

Eating healthy foods and as little processed or cooked as possible will get you similar results. Stick to it, make it part of your identity. Train to battle MS.

EXERCISE

Exercise is another must-do when your body faces getting weaker. Long story short: MS aims to get us totally paralized. There! I’ve said it! It gives me chills everytime I think or say it, but it is a fear I understood I must face from this year onwards. It has been at the back of my mind for a while now. But you know what they say about your “enemies”: keep them closer than your “friends”. And this year I will do just that: face my fears, say them out loud.

It’s the same thing as when my mother and I took our first airplane flight together. It was a first for the both of us, but she was more scared than I was. I don’t know exactly why, but heights don’t scare me. Not being in control does. So, she was so anxious about turbulences and getting safe to our destination and although I tried to calm her down, she had her fears. So I decided to say her (our) fear out loud: “What is the worst thing that could happen? The airplane falls down and we die. That’s it! Can we prevent it? Can we do something about it? Then why bother? Worrying is of no help. Just enjoy the ride!”. She looked surprised and a bit shocked, but in the end she agreed with me.

Likewise, what is the worse that can happen with MS? You can become paralyzed, have major pain or die. Can you prevent it? Can you control it? Can you do something about it? No, but you can make the ride the best it can possibly be. The ride is your life and you can help yourself by moving your body. Do whatever you can do. 

We all have different capabilities and MS affects us in different ways. There are MSers who do thriathlons and others who are bed bound. There are people who are afraid to get heated up or to get out of the house. There are people who have pain and decide that they can’t push through.

But YES, YOU CAN! YES, YOU CAN! “Use it or lose it” one expression used to say. I’m not mean, I’m not forcing you do do anything that you can’t or don’t feel comfortable doing. It’s just that I saw it to be possible. I see examples of people that do it. Of course that at the same time there are people who can’t. There are all kinds of situations. There are all kinds of snowflakes. #NoTwoTheSame, as Shift.ms says.

Our bodies are made for movement. As long as you can crawl, do that. Get better ar crawling. There is no shame in wanting to survive. There is no shame in wanting to live and get better. People make it so hard by having big egos, by being so influenced by what other people say about them, about being judged.

It might sound unbelievable to you, it might seem like I’m B.S.ing you, but little by little, I come to understand that there is no ego, there is nothing to be ashamed about. It is all in our minds. We humans are independent beings, and when we face losing that, we get scared, we refuse to accept it. But at the end of the day, who are you to feel that way? There are thousands of people going through the same battle everyday. Some push through. Be one of those people. Constantly. Make it a life quest: "Be on top of all my struggles!"

Be dignified enough to push through the struggle. It’s the hardest thing you might need to do, but it’s why God allows you to live. To make a difference, to be humble and to be more open to what others are going through. We are so selfish and think that our lives are the most impacted ever.

Open your eyes and see how many are in the same or even worse situations. Stop complaining and start acting and doing something to fight back. Get on that eliptical and peddal for as long as your body alows you, stretch your upper body half while sitting in the wheelchair, smile if you are bedbound.

You are a wonderful human being. Don’t feel sorrow. We all face the same end. There’s no need to make the road there even harder than it is. Cry, hit something, yell, journal, confess to a priest, pray, get it out of your system.

And then smile. It calms your soul.

REST

Sleep is the key element that binds the first two together. We eat, we move, but the body needs to rest and recuperate after all this effort. It needs to regenerate the organs, to recharge your energy supplies and to tend to the body. 

We sleep in 1 and a half stages. It has been recommended to sleep at least 5 stages like this, meaning a minimum of 8 hours a night in order for sleep to be efficient.

Of course, when you have MS and fatigue as a symptom, no amount of sleep can make you feel rested, I agree. But you must go with the flow. Do your best in managing your daily activities and hacking the life out of your tasks, as to help the body recharge. I’ve writter about this here. I will also come back with even more details about sleep and how well it correlates to what you eat and how you move.

INSTEAD OF A CONCLUSION

Nobody said that you can cure MS by doing these three things. That would be just junk talk, delusional and counterproductive. When MS hits you, cause it will, it’s best to be prepared and a little more stronger than you were yesterday. You’ll get through it with possible less damage, you’ll raise up the chances of recovering faster after a relapse. 

These three are not miracle cures, are not whishful thinking, but ways through which you can take care of yourself, in which you can help your body cope with life with MS.

It’s like healing the wounded. It’s fighting back. It’s not giving up, accept your faith and drown yourself in anger and frustration. Be assertive! Take control of your life as well as you can.

Why give in? Why be a victim? Choose to live!

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Until next time, make the SMart Choices for your lifestyle.

Love,

Alexandra

Reviewing 2015 & New Plans for This Year

Last year has seen a lot of firsts, learning and self-discoveries. I also had a lot of fun, spent time with friends and family, went on vacation and basically enjoyed life as it came. But as with all things “life”, you’ll get some not so good parts also. MS symptoms got a bit more obvious, but I battled them with all that was in my power. All in all, it was a full and enjoyable year. This is going to be a long post, so grab a cup of tea, sit confortably, and let’s dig deeper to see why.

2015 had a lot of firsts and lessons learned, but definetly one of the biggest was starting MS treatment in March. I am well-known by people close to me as being deeply scared by needles and taking any kind of shots. Surprise-surprise! Copaxone, the treatment I’m on, is injectable. It’s a daily subcutaneous (under the skin) injection that burns somewhat when it gets inside the body. If someone had told me a few years back that I’m going to do that daily and not run in terror, I would have called him / her crazy! Actually, I found out that I was not afraid of the needle itself, nor it pearcing my skin, but of the reactions / emotions people around me associated with it since I was little (stick around, we’re going to talk about lots of self-discoveries, ha!). So, that was first of the… firsts.

The second most important thing started was this actual blog. SMart Choice Lifestyle was started in April 2015, as a means to inform and talk about MS-related subjects, advice and living with the condition as a young person. You can read more about that process here.

I read or listened to many insightful books / audiobooks, videos and articles. Through all this I learned a lot about myself, business and life in general. To only name a few, let’s talk about:

“Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert

“Linchpin” by Seth Godin

“The Four Hour Workweek” by Tim Ferris

“Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki

YouTube basically replaced my TV, as I discovered some amazing channels of which I name the ones I learned the most from: 

Mimi and Alex Ikonn

Gary Vaynerchuk

Yoga with Adriene

Chase Jarvis

Tim Ferris

London Real

Since April 2015, once I’ve discovered the magnificent Adriene Mishler’s YouTube yoga channel and got absolutely hooked, I really got into yoga and meditation. Almost a year later, it has proved to be one of the best if not THE best decision and habit of 2015! It has brought so much clarity and strenght (both physically and mentally) to my life. When my body feels tight or sore from MS-related issues or just from daily work, I always turn to yoga stretches and at least 10 minutes of sitting in silence in order to clear my mind and figure out what’s going on with myself. It’s part of my everyday morning and night routines. Thank you, Adriene! You guys! Be sure to subscribe to her channel and try the #30daysofyoga (2015) and #yogacamp (2016) challenges. She's the best teacher I could ever hope for in this yoga journey! You'll see what I mean: she's funny, calm and really takes her time into getting you finding what feels good on the mat.

Going down a similar lane, I rediscovered God and His meaning to me. Got to know myself a little bit better and learned a lot. In conjunction with going deeper in  my mind and emotions, I found love and strength inside. If you ever think that you are not loved or not stong enough to do something, take a step back, analyze your fears, your thought process and see that if you got through today, you are stonger than you think and you’ll eventually find all the love that you will ever need in your own heart. Just trust and get to know yourself better. It’s so worth it!

It was a time of outlining many projects and having new wonderful ideas. A time of finding my “why”, my mission and calling. It has always been there, staring me in the eyes, but I couldn’t see it because I was distracted with what society taught me. So, I’m a writer and a visual storyteller that likes to help people see the best in themselves. The rest will unfold slowly on this blog, so make sure you subscribe to receive every new update.

I understood that all is flowing, changing, moving, and that I need to go with the flow, adapt and just be. Leave stress aside and focus on the present moment. The rest is fading. So, I had more gratefulness and midfulness than in past years and learned that dreams need action in order to come true. The “secret” is not whishfull thinking, is TAKING ACTION! Doing things.

One big lesson is that forgiveness opens the door to endless possibilities of light heartedness, love and fulfillment in one’s life. You only have to come at it with an open heart and just let go of any grudges, resentments and useless negativity that only brings you down in the end.

There are little miracles happening around us all the time, be aware of your surroundings, the people you meet and the things that you go through.

The funny fact about introspection is that it allows you to understand many of the issues, flaws, problems you’ve had through the years and the reason why they happened. So insightful! I understood that life is in fact very simple and light at its core and we are the ones who make it harder through our own daily choices and actions.

This December I turned 30! And felt like 22 *giggles inside*. Going on the shakespearian lane, what’s in a number? To be or not to be… 30!? What the heck! Let’s live it! I’m 03… oops… 30!

I really didn’t face a big drama (or any drama) when changing my decade. It only made me realise how far I’ve come and how many things I have under my belt. And yet again, how young I still am, and how well that fits with MS! The joy! But let’s not exaggerate! Be humble and grateful for the situation I’m in, because I am aware that others have it way harder than me.

I don’t want you to be offended in the very least by my words, so I must explain a bit: I have a sarcastic-ish way of facing issues in my life, so if it seems I’m just making fun of my condition it’s because I really don’t want to take it seriously. It brings me down, and it’s the last thing I want in my life, on top of the daily stresses. I find it very easy to talk MS-related stuff, make fun of it and beat it sensless with food, exercise and rest. Copaxone only does 30% of the job so I take care of the other 70%, which does not include negative emotions. Hope you’ll understand.

Speaking of lifestyle management, I also thought about what was I doing when I had my best days / results / work. Summing it all up, it was a mix of the following things:

- eating healthy, 

- exercising at least 30 minutes per day, 

- sleeping regularly and minimum 8 hours / night, 

- organising my to-do lists and work in an orderly and disciplined way, 

- focusing on doing just one thing at a time, 

- getting inspiration and achieving the right state of mind, 

- having new experiences and learning

- creating content without constraints, judgements or the others’ opinion in mind,

- working from the heart, when I was authentic and true to myself and my core beliefs.

The biggest, most impactful lesson I had last year was the day when I understood that all is flowing, that all is energy (a vibration basically) and that the most important and life-giving one is LOVE in all its shapes and sizes: kindness, gratefulness, generosity, compassion, forgiveness, etc. We are more stronger than we think. The mind is limiting our actions. Let the Ego go and look at the world through your heart. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll see.

Other highlights of 2015 were finally receiving “The Wahls Protocol” from the U.S. and a surprise red-rose from my boyfriend (May)

me dropping yet another cup that I had for ages, thanks to MS clumsiness (June) (thank you, dear!), 

the Robbie Williams concert in Bucharest’s Constitution Square (July)

the yearly trip to Sibiu and Hunedoara (August), 

the most amazing late summer light I have ever seen, at my parents’ house (August) (the picture really doesn’t do it justice!),  

best friend rebonding girls day out (September),

my boyfriend made THESE for his niece’s birthday (September),

barbecuing and photographing this little guy in the warm autumn light at my boyfriend’s house (October), 

discovering and SAVING my first entirely gray hair (I still have it!) (November),

and enter my beautiful December (might be subjective here, as I’m born close to Christmas, so… if you love it as much as I do, let me know in the comments below): early birthday resent from my boyfriend, 

my own self birthday present, 

celebrating my kindergarden birthday *whistles looking away*,

decorating the Christmas tree, 

the Christmas tree, 

waiting for Santa,

and yet another reason why I love roses

For this year, my three main goals are centered on writing, photography and yoga. These three are my main focal points, with some occasional sprinkles of travel here and there. But most of all, my biggest hope for the beginning of this year is that my next MRI doesn’t show any new lesions.

Thank you all for being here and reading this review!

Sign up to the email list, to be sure you’ll get the three main articles I publish every week, plus an occasional fourth or fifth post when I have something new to share!

Until next time, make the SMart Choices for your lifestyle.

Love,

Alexandra