Almost a year ago, in the days following the hospitalization for my first optic neuritis and Solumedrol experience, I felt less ego than I ever felt before. Something shifted inside me and made me realize that all that matters is how you behave and most of all how you make others feel. In spite of the corticosteroids making me moody and a cry-baby for the whole week, I was able to comfort the persons around me.
At first, they looked curiously at this young girl who had an i.v. jacked in her hand and was cheering them up. As days went by, I felt them warm up, as they realized it was not mere politeness, but that I really cared for their well-being. I helped as much as I could, listening to their stories and encouraging them. My greatest reward was that I could see their eyes smiling back at me. They appreciated what I did for them.
“However it manifests itself, after a transformative experience, your perspective shifts and the desire to get up and do something becomes strong.”
Even now, as I remember those days, it still makes me cry. There is so much sorrow in this world and we don’t even notice it. We are not aware. The irony of life is that it does not ask your ego if it wants to be bashed against walls when given an incurable diagnosis. No. Life just happens and sometimes it is cruel.
You feel like all the life is being sucked out of you. Denial kicks in, tears come and go, laughter comes and goes (ok, it might have been the Solumedrol acting on this one :)) ). You then begin your journey of discovery. You begin to search and read all that you can lay your hands on related to MS. You begin to understand and to explain it to people around you. You begin to feel empowered. You begin to change.
Change has always been a hard issue to face by anybody. We don’t like change. It pulls us out of our comfort zone. It’s dissruptive. People are creatures of habit, and although we might do new things, we stand firm on our foundations and refuse to move. We call that “growing a personality” and/or “having principles”.
Enter multiple sclerosis.
Your personality suffers a major blow right in the head. Your principles crumble as you face the humbling shadow of this complex disease. And here you begin to shift.
There are many destinations you can arrive through this shifting process: you can change for the worst or you can change for the better. The trick is to find the energy needed to dig out of the hole multiple sclerosis has prepared for you.
Reach out to people. Ask questions. Get educated on the disease itself. Mind your intuition and stay close to your loved ones. Life with MS does not only involve you. It is a family disease. Whatever you do, keep on moving. Metaphorically AND literally.
Fight back MS with all you can: shift your eating, shift your sleeping patterns, your relaxation times, reduce stress and EXERCISE. It does so much good. It helps you not just physically but mentally as well.
<<It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I learnt psychologists recognise this positive reaction to life changing news as post-traumatic growth. Academic supporters of these ideas are keen to remind us that: "importantly, and this just can’t be emphasised enough, this does not mean that trauma is not also destructive and distressing. No one welcomes adversity. But the research evidence shows us that over time people can find benefits in their struggle with adversity."(Prof Stephen Joseph, Ph.D, 2014)>>
Do whatever you can. Change. But use this opportunity to grow, not to become a bitter person. Bitter is easy. I know, I’ve been there for a while (and still make some visits now and then :)) ). It is not a pretty place.
Breathe, this too shall pass. Have faith in yourself!
Sincerely,
Alexandra
P.S. Question: How did MS change you? Tell us your story on our Facebook, our Twitter or in a comment down below. Thank you for visiting!
(photo credit)