I remember being on a plane with my mom and she being scared from the weird movements it made during some turbulences. I asked her what is the worst thing that can happen? She said that it would be terrible if the plane should fall and we would get injured or worse. As I stood there listening to her, I realised something: the worse thing that could have happened was for the plane to fall, crash and we died. But here’s the ironic part: we are all going to die someday. So what are you afraid of really? I know one of my biggest fears is loss.
We have become accustomed to having all that we want or at least all that we can afford. Today’s society emphasizes consumption and fast moving… everything! Fast tasks, fast solutions, fast food, and so on. But there is no shortcut in life. There is no magic trick that will make you better, richer, healthier. It all resides in you.
You have the power to change things around. You have the abilities to make a difference in your life and / or the life of others around you. But you must be willing to face your fears.
Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of the unknnown, fear of being dissapointed.. You name it! It’s all based on the central fear of death and of something bad happening to us that will provoke death. It’s scary even to think of it, I know.
What Does Really Scare You?
This brings us to an important point in this discussion: the worst fear is the fear of… fear itself. We get anxious when we don’t know the outcome of someting, we get scared not knowing how our health is going to be tomorrow, a month or a year from now. But you now what? By its nature, life IS unpredictable.
With or without multiple sclerosis, we all face daily challenges that we don’t know how are they going to turn out. We can predict a little bit, but the actual result escapes our grasp. And that’s another issue many of us fight with: being in control.
That need to be everywhere and do all the things at the same time, and having the best possible outcome also. That’s not possible. And even if you can put up with this kind of routine for a while, you either overburn and crash or you become a machine that will no longer know its purpose after retirement or getting an illness.
My point is: get a hold of your life NOW. Make up your mind about where you want to be in life. Set goals for yourself and act on them daily, with little steps, little tasks that will take you eventually to achieve what you had in mind. It might not be exactly as you planned it in your mind, but you need to do your absolute best in order to get that opportunity.
Even if you don’t have treatment yet, there is no excuse to sit down and complain. I know it’s hard, I know it’s scary, I know it gets you frustrated and angry. But stop the negative mindset, I beg you! You are only doing harm to yourself! Think of the things that you CAN do to improve your life, your health and overall wellbeing.
Fear Is Stopping You From Taking Action
The reason why I’m writing this today is because I realised that inaction is the cause of all bad outcomes. If you stand still and do nothing, you are not allowed to protest, you are not allowed to ask for anything.
If the only thing you do is sit there and criticize, offend and even hurt others, the only thing you will achieve is only getting yourself even more miserable than you already are. What’s the point in dragging other people around in your pain when you can pull yourself up from that state of mind and do something positive.
Fundraise, raise awareness of the public opinion, do not just sit there and wait for the Government to give you what you need, don’t wait help from others while you do nothing. Because, guess what? Help is not comming! You got to start by helping yourself first.
Then go create or join a community of MSsers and welcome everybody in. Don’t grudge and point fingers. You don’t know the stories people have or the problems they had to face to get where they are. Respect yourself and others will do that for you. It’s better for your heart, it’s better for your mind and it’s better for your health.
The Worst-Case Scenario
What is the worse thing that could happen if you stand up for yourself? For me it was losing the possibility and / or access to treatment. But when they did not consult me on the type of medicine I needed to take for my MS, i politely refused.
I'll say that again: PO-LITE-LY! I was assertive about the reasons behind why I was refusing the interferons. I explained that the side effects were damaging to me and my lifestyle and the best option was Copaxone.
I was told that the funds for that year were over, and that I must now wait for the next opening in the National Program. I asked when will that be, and I was told at the beginning of the new year. There will be a selection process, my file will be submitted to the comission that made the approvals, and when and if I get through, they will let me know.
And that was it!
Christmas was approaching and I had no treatment and did not know when, if and how my MS will or will not flare up. I did not know if I will be eligible for receiving treatment. And most of all I WAS SCARED SHI@#$SS!
But I accepted my decision and that was that! If a repalse or many were to happen, how could I stop them? Even with treatment, if your MS is active, it has its way with you. It’s true that it slows down the process, but you still have a brain eating disease. Your very own zombie! Oh, and you are going to grow old, get sick and die eventually. Why have fear?
Wrapping Things Up!
Accept your fears, aknowledge them, but move on. Think of the worst case scenario and then work on how would you get over those situations, how would you overcome them? Make an action plan, write it down if you need to, put it somewhere safe and go on living your day.
See you in the next post!
Yours truly,
Alexandra
P.S. What’s your biggest fear concerning MS? How are you planning to overcome that fear in case it becomes a reality? I would love to know your opinions. You can share them on Facebook, Twitter (hashtag #SMartMS) or send me an email at smartchoice.livingwithms@gmail.com. Thank you for reading!