We are all different in our capabilities and talents. We like and are good at different things, thus each one of us is special in his or her way. Society bounds us to a grid of rules and measurements, wanting to equalize each individual to the next. Creating uniformity makes us easier to quantify, supervise and control.
Backstory
Following the Industrial Revolution, our society became more and more mechanized and labour-focused. It saw people not so much as individualities, but as work-force, as elements of a system that was bound to make profit. And this system is here still. It grew from the factory in the Victorian era and evolved into the corporate world of the 21th century.
But what is there to do when you are a free spirited person? When you value more self expression and talent than following society’s rules? You become independent or you develop anxiety attacks and a feeling of lacking purpose.
I went through the second type of situation. The pressure to conform got so heavy, that I often found myself over stressed, more irritable, feeling boxed in, and like I was putting on a mask every single day, for the past seven years. And I just realised that it’s been that long.
So, for seven long years I went back and forth between corporate or semi-corporate jobs and my own self. And it’s been exhausting!
Imagine being at work, standing comfortably at your desk, having a spreadsheet open in front of you, and your mind wondering away, to the places and things you wanted to be doing instead. You might say that this happens to all of us once in a while. We get tired of work and start day-dreaming about relaxation and the following vacation that we’re going to in a month or two.
Now ask yourself: is this how things are supposed to be? Is this the right thing? Working to afford a life that you only can live fully a month a year? Speding time with your family for just 5-6 hours a day? Focusing on deadlines and sales targets rather than what makes you feel complete and your most productive self? Are you sure that’s how you want to live the rest of your life?
I surely wasn’t up for this challenge! I wanted something else. Some other challenge.
The Turning Point
This past year since my MS diagnosis, I came to realise what I value most. What are my core goals in life. And none of the corporate achievements was one of them. I remembered that I want to help people achieve their potential. I remembered that I love hearing life stories. I remembered who I was before entering the production line.
Deep feelings and emotions arose as I was getting back to myself. As I was rediscovering what made me human, and what made me… me. To some it may sound like woo-woo stuff, but getting back in touch with your own self is life changing.
You wouldn’t believe how much anger, frustration and fear can deposit inside you for years and years. And it’s all boxed in. Walled in. And you think you live the best life ever.
And then the void comes. That feeling of shallowness and lack of purpose. It will come, because you are working to fullfil someone else’s dream, and forgetting your own.
Spirituality and getting in touch with your core is not some hippie bull-sh!@. It’s the thing that makes you a human being. Eastern thinking has been knowing this for more than 5000 years.
Getting back to yourself doesn’t mean retreating from this world and live your life on a lotus flower listening to the waves. It means relearning who you are, what are your goals in life and act on them.
Have a purpose. Work daily on your idea. Find fullfillment and ease in doing what is right for you. It’s probably the most important thing you’ll ever do.
How I Came To Writting?
The answer is I did not came to it, as it was already here. It has always been a part of me. Since I was little, writing was my best form of self-expression.
Putting words on paper had and still has a deep cathartic effect on my mind. It exorcises my inner demons, so to speak. It emphasizes what is true, valuable and persistent in my life. It gives me clarity and is a keepsake of my memories.
It’s the way I communicate best. Mostly now, writing the SMart Choice blog. I made a commitment to myself. I need to write an article every single day, in order to grow as a person and as a writer. It is a form of practicing in public, like Jeff Goins says.
I write because I love to be able to express my thoughts, I love to tell stories and I love the idea of maybe helping someone who gets to read these articles. Living in the digital era makes it even more exciting and fullfilling. I get to share my points of view and find other like-minded individuals with whom I can further communicate.
I cherish relationships and communication. We are social beings. We have always lived in tribes. Even in today’s times, we are all part of small groups, large groups, professional groups, leisure groups, you name it!
Each of these groups is a tribe that stands for something. A tribe focused on a common goal or interest. That’s what’s shaping our selves. We have multiple statuses, we play a multitude of roles, but the most important is to stay true to yourself.
Sincerely,
Alexandra
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