Time Well Spent. How to Achieve Your Potential Even With a Chronic Illness

There comes a day when time shifts. When you begin measuring a new year in terms of years starting at the time of your diagnosis. It’s more of a subconscious feeling, as the days still go by as they used to. But something changed and your time seems to flow a little different. A little quicker.

Not long ago, you were still thinking you’ll have time for everything. And technically, you still do. It’s the fear that speeds you up. The uncertainty of what tomorrow brings. The unpredictability of multiple sclerosis. You begin to rush, trying to do all and do it as fast as possible. But you get stressed. Anxiety and unease are one of the main triggers of feeling unwell when you have MS.

Instead of wanting to do it all at once, focus on the most important things. Prioritize and set goals. Choose three areas that you want to live, improve or specialize in. Do those, and do them well. It’s better to be the best at something  than to be mediocre at many. Plus it involves less stress.

Create a schedule and work daily to achieve mastery in those three main areas of your life. Of course, you’ll have secondary goals as well, but it’s important to keep focus on the main ones and challenge yourself each day to do something more, or something new about them.

As for myself, I also had a tough choice to make, as I have many things that interest me. But after taking my time and thinking about what really gets me moving and motivated, I made my choice:

• I will become the portrait photographer I always wanted to be;
• I will daily develop my yoga practice;
• I will write at the best of my capabilities every single day, even if I don’t blog anything.

It’s the daily hustle that matters most. It’s the little things you do to get over the limits you thought you have. It’s the daily routine that makes you achieve mastery in the areas of your choice. And most of all, be kind to yourself. Accept the point where you are at now and develop from that.

I know multiple sclerosis is scary and you feel your time is limited, but trust me, the effort will pay off. Practice doesn’t make perfect. Doing your best every day makes you achieve the best possible outcome for you. Become who you really are, not what society made you believe you are.

Design your time. Fill it with things that matter to you. Develop your skills and show them to the world. Make a statement out of your MS struggle. It’s the best you can do in this life.

Yours truly,

Alexandra

P.S. It’s your turn! Did time change for you and how did you manage this situation? Tell me all about it a comment bellow. I am curious to hear your version on the topic. Thank you for reading!

How Much Do You Really Own In Life?

You start with nothing. Your coming into this world is without any possessions, relationships or knowledge. As you develop through the five senses, imitating others and interacting with your environment, you gain insight about what means to be human and to have something. Anything.

All that you own is taken from someone, either through learning, gifting or buying. All that you know has been known by someone before you. All that you think and imagine is made out of pieces of many other minds that were taught by others in their turn and so on.

So, how much do you really own?

The only thing that is completely yours is the moment you are in now. It is entirely lived by you, populated by your thoughts and feelings, by your breath and body’s presence. Your eyes move left to right while reading this article and you wonder why I wrote this.

Answering that is simple. I came to the idea that all the material stuff you have don’t mean or value anything by themselves. They are only valuable as you invest time, emotion and usability into them. Without your input, those objects are bare. Pure hollow.

What’s a smartphone without the picture you took today just after lunch? What’s your home without people to share it with? What’s a TV if there’s nothing that you would like to watch? What are clothes without the person wearing them putting putting them into a new light by that big smile?

You tend to invest time, effort and emotion in inanimate objects more than you do in relationships and even in yourself. There’s always something that catches your attention, that needs our input, that needs your energy. Given the world you live in, these kind of things are important, but frankly, not vital.

Being a social robot

Of course you need to adapt, to become an useful part of society, a productive asset. But these are all hollow things. You could say that you enjoy working, and going daily to your office, chatting with colleagues. OK, agree! What do you mostly chat about? The meaning of relationships or a new deadline?

Work gives you purpose as objects give you satisfaction of money well spent, of having stuff that fit your needs and / or social status. These are all great. I have them to. But do they make me happy on the long term? No. Do they enrich my life in more than a technical way? No. They’re just means to a purpose.

Having stuff, a job and a social condition are just illusions. Man made elements, as to make you fit in the pattern of today’s society. Nothing more, nothing less. Inside you there is a void. You may not feel it right away. But you are having moments when life seems without a purpose. It’s boring!

Being a real person

As a human being, not having meaningful relationships, true happy moments and a loving bunch of people to share them with you are void. You are just a machine. When was the last time you really took time for yourself? No, not you! That true self, the one that fell asleep when you grew up.

We are all still kids inside. We learned how things go, we know what, when and why to do things, we make things happen for others and… what? What do we keep from that? There are so many things to discover still, and you joke around in your cubicle daydreaming about the life you’ll lead in the next vacation or when you’ll retire. Good luck then!

The whole trick with life is to actually live it. And do that the way you want to, WHILE working hard for it. Your life does not begin after 6pm! Think about it! Your whole adult life spent fulfilling other person’s dream. Making money for others, while you get only a certain percentage of it.

And now you’re probably asking “What do you want me to do?”. I advise you to think about what you want, what you need in life, what your dreams are. Write them down. Divide them into smaller steps, and then into actionable steps that you can take monthly, weekly, daily.

Just to feel safe, hold on to your 9-to-5 job for a little while longer. When your dream is catching shape, gradually let go. Start working again. But this time for yourself. Fill the void. Really own your life, your goals and your dreams.

Step by step, those inanimate objects will become full with meaning, they will become full of memories. And you know why? Because your life is meaningful. And not only to you, but to your loved ones.

Just pause for a moment and think: how much do you really own?

Untill the next post, I thank you for visiting SMart Choice Lifestyle! Like and share if you liked it.
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Yours truly,

Alexandra

The Red Pill Post - ep. 1: "Shape Shifting & Thoughts About Steve"

As I browsed through my Facebook feed this morning, I remembered something important. Four years ago, I was aiming to not settle for anything less than my ideal lifestyle. Four years ago this day, Steve Jobs died. I discovered an old post, one who made me wonder why did I take the blue pill and came back to the conformist reality for the last four years? What happened in between these moments that had me let go of my dreams? Peer pressure happened, the constant ring in your ears that you gotta conform, that you gotta live by the rules. And you know what? With or without these rules, I still have Multiple Sclerosis. It has been a game changer for me. Maybe a new wakeup call after four years. Today I take time on reflecting on my life so far and on my life to be. I'll keep you posted. Meanwhile, I leave you with the post I mentioned as I began writing. Enjoy and let me know what do you think about it.

(Friday, 06th October 2011 @ 11:59 p.m.)

<<A single day has passed and I let it all calm down just a bit. It was hard for me to almost shout in the crowd. Social Media and the whole Internet exploded with all sorts of Steve related stuff. So I let the buzz fade away, I stood and listened to everyone and I read a huge volume of articles & posts. I now found my own voice, and I'll speak my mind. You could listen if you want to ;).

We're social beings first of all - individual shapes carved by society

As human beings, we develop by imitating and observing others. From an early age we learn by watching our parent's actions, we develop into adolescents and our peers become center-focus, and then all of a sudden we've grown up, we're adults. This process is called socialisation and it doesn't end here. We are constantly learning, constantly shaping ourselves according to our inner selves and to the people around us which reflect our daily actions. We're the result of a given society, it's culture, but most of all we are the result of our own actions and of the interpretations we give to the first two.

From the surrounding world we take what has or finds in us an inner meaning, the things that resonate with our way of thinking, our tastes and with the definition we give to our lives. That's why we're so alike (think about all the simillarities between you and your friends, you and your loved one, etc.) and yet so different. Each person is a one of a kind mix of... things. A puzzle. An unique shape. We sculpt and define this shape all of our lives and when we're old we call it "life experience" and leave it to people we love after we die.

My story and how Steve's death influenced me

But what happens when a piece of our puzzle dissapears? What happened to me when Steve Jobs died? Did I back down in sadness for a few hours and then returned to my usual way of perceiving reality? Did my shape get cracked? No. Being one of my role-models, Steve always surprised me with his innovative and unsettled spirit and piercing intelligence. But must of all he left a mark on my mind with his drive in life: simple yet powerfull.

His sudden death has taught me a very important lesson: no matter how hard it gets in life, no matter how many times others - or even myself - tell me that I can't do something, that now is not the right moment to do it, or that it's useless, each time I'll prove them wrong.

People will always (yes, ALWAYS) have something to say about everything you do: right things, wrong things, good things, bad... you get the idea! It doesn't matter, they'll speak their mind. Each person will have it's opinion, so WHY SETTLE? You have got only ONE chance to leave a mark on this Earth, ONE chance to carve a perfect SHAPE of yourself. Don't waste it!

"Steve Jobs died today, at 56 years old"

The regretable event that happened on the 6th of October caught me off guard. At 06:45 (Bucharest time) I was getting ready for work, the TV was on and a second book I was reading about Steve was on my bed, where I had left it the night before. Then... the announcement hit: "Steve Jobs died today, at 56 years old." I stoped what I was doing and almost could not believe the information I was hearing. Of course I knew he was sick, that he had stepped-down from Apple because he couldn't handle it anymore, but Steve DEAD? Pretty difficult to accept. But that's life! It isn't all 'bout happy endings.

That's why you've got to STOP living caught in a box-like existence created by the opinions of others, and START living YOUR OWN life. I suppose that you don't want to get kicked out of it by death thinking you should have done someting about this. I sure don't.

I'm not afraid of dying, only of looking back a few years from now and finding out my life was shallow, finding out that my shape is a copy of others, a "karaoke life".

A few resolutions before ending

It's a pitty that a tragic event like Steve's death gave me the push to stop living "safe", and made me get a grip on my own life, but I honestly do think that we need a slap in the face to react. This (let's face it!) unpersonal event (after all, a stranger has died), together with a few personal ones, had the power to resuscitate my will and drive to make a change in this world through MY SHAPE, through my own example. I want to be able to help others reach their potential and one day make my kids proud.

And when the article ends, I see a new begining

I always wanted to be the best I can be, but my insecurity, the times I was too tired to do something else than sleep and - let's face it! - my cosy way of being often made me procrastinate my wish of becoming a Graphic Designer. The intent had been there for a while, but still nothing happened. But for a while now, as I was reading and learning all sorts of advertising-history of art-Photoshop-drawing stuff, together with books about Steve's life, the intent got stronger, it became a plan. His death transformed it into determination. Yesterday, 06.11.2011 I signed up for the begginers Graphic Design course I always wanted to attend. The shift has begun.

Starting with the 5th of November this year, iShift... iShape Shift: The Road to Graphic Design - via Steve.

Keep learning, keep growing, be the best I can be, and as Steve said... "Don't settle!" :)

Staying True To Yourself. Why I Write

We are all different in our capabilities and talents. We like and are good at different things, thus each one of us is special in his or her way. Society bounds us to a grid of rules and measurements, wanting to equalize each individual to the next. Creating uniformity makes us easier to quantify, supervise and control.

Backstory

Following the Industrial Revolution, our society became more and more mechanized and labour-focused. It saw people not so much as individualities, but as work-force, as elements of a system that was bound to make profit. And this system is here still. It grew from the factory in the Victorian era and evolved into the corporate world of the 21th century.

But what is there to do when you are a free spirited person? When you value more self expression and talent than following society’s rules? You become independent or you develop anxiety attacks and a feeling of lacking purpose.

I went through the second type of situation. The pressure to conform got so heavy, that I often found myself over stressed, more irritable, feeling boxed in, and like I was putting on a mask every single day, for the past seven years. And I just realised that it’s been that long.

So, for seven long years I went back and forth between corporate or semi-corporate jobs and my own self. And it’s been exhausting!

Imagine being at work, standing comfortably at your desk, having a spreadsheet open in front of you, and your mind wondering away, to the places and things you wanted to be doing instead. You might say that this happens to all of us once in a while. We get tired of work and start day-dreaming about relaxation and the following vacation that we’re going to in a month or two.

Now ask yourself: is this how things are supposed to be? Is this the right thing? Working to afford a life that you only can live fully a month a year? Speding time with your family for just 5-6 hours a day? Focusing on deadlines and sales targets rather than what makes you feel complete and your most productive self? Are you sure that’s how you want to live the rest of your life?

I surely wasn’t up for this challenge! I wanted something else. Some other challenge.

The Turning Point

This past year since my MS diagnosis, I came to realise what I value most. What are my core goals in life. And none of the corporate achievements was one of them. I remembered that I want to help people achieve their potential. I remembered that I love hearing life stories. I remembered who I was before entering the production line.

Deep feelings and emotions arose as I was getting back to myself. As I was rediscovering what made me human, and what made me… me. To some it may sound like woo-woo stuff, but getting back in touch with your own self is life changing.

You wouldn’t believe how much anger, frustration and fear can deposit inside you for years and years. And it’s all boxed in. Walled in. And you think you live the best life ever.

And then the void comes. That feeling of shallowness and lack of purpose. It will come, because you are working to fullfil someone else’s dream, and forgetting your own.

Spirituality and getting in touch with your core is not some hippie bull-sh!@. It’s the thing that makes you a human being. Eastern thinking has been knowing this for more than 5000 years.

Getting back to yourself doesn’t mean retreating from this world and live your life on a lotus flower listening to the waves. It means relearning who you are, what are your goals in life and act on them.

Have a purpose. Work daily on your idea. Find fullfillment and ease in doing what is right for you. It’s probably the most important thing you’ll ever do.

How I Came To Writting?

The answer is I did not came to it, as it was already here. It has always been a part of me. Since I was little, writing was my best form of self-expression.

Putting words on paper had and still has a deep cathartic effect on my mind. It exorcises my inner demons, so to speak. It emphasizes what is true, valuable and persistent in my life. It gives me clarity and is a keepsake of my memories.

It’s the way I communicate best. Mostly now, writing the SMart Choice blog. I made a commitment to myself. I need to write an article every single day, in order to grow as a person and as a writer. It is a form of practicing in public, like Jeff Goins says.

I write because I love to be able to express my thoughts,  I love to tell stories and I love the idea of maybe helping someone who gets to read these articles. Living in the digital era makes it even more exciting and fullfilling. I get to share my points of view and find other like-minded individuals with whom I can further communicate.

I cherish relationships and communication. We are social beings. We have always lived in tribes. Even in today’s times, we are all part of small groups, large groups, professional groups, leisure groups, you name it!

Each of these groups is a tribe that stands for something. A tribe focused on a common goal or interest. That’s what’s shaping our selves. We have multiple statuses, we play a multitude of roles, but the most important is to stay true to yourself.

Sincerely,

Alexandra

P.S. What is your opinion on this issue? Share your answers on Facebook or Twitter. I would love to find out your point of view. Thank you for the visit!

Life With Multiple Sclerosis, A Full Weekend & Preparing To Renovate The House. How To Knock Yourself Out Into Fatigue And Arm Pain

Did you ever had an “I told you!” moment with yourself? Waking up to having a splendid arm pain and some delicious fatigue is all that I could wish for this morning. Especially when I knew this would be happening. So much for wishful thinking! Long title, short story. Read on!

How It All Began

This past weekend had all the ingredients of being a wonderful one. And indeed it was. Finished all my tasks on Friday by the end of working hours, prepared dinner and spent a relaxing evening at home.

Saturday we had a birthday party to go to, at my boyfriend’s parents house. It was an outside barbecue, and they sayed it was going to be one of the hottest days of the month. We had lots of fun, had great conversation and called it a day in the early evening. Came home and rested.

On Sunday, we went shopping for the house renovation up ahead. Went through three stores full of tiles, wood floors and the usual stuff you’ll need. Came back home and called it a day.

Yesterday I planned to put everything from our living room away into boxes, seal them so that we can store them untill we finish renovating. Done deal! Published an article, sorted piles of folders and books and all sorts of things, checked social media, set up the table for dinner and cleaned up.

And then crashed!

I felt so tired that my arms and legs were “buzzing” inside. My body felt a bit wobbly and I could not concentrate properly. My brain was urging me to sit down already, which I did, after taking a quick shower. As I layed in bed, relaxation kicked in and did its job, and my brain could not been any happier!

Feeling a little better, I got up and stretched for a few minutes, did some relaxing yoga moves and took some deep breaths. That sure helped a great deal. My arms and legs felt more relaxed. I could feel the muscles stretch and the sensation was incredible. Imagine being tense and then muscles letting go. Fabulous!

Then we prepared for sleep. Dimmed the lights, made turmeric tea for both of us and regular tea for me, as I needed more relaxation. Meditated for 10-15 minutes, just to calm my mind, brushed teeth, had a shower and finally off to bed.

After an hour or so, a pile of boxes fell down making a very loud noise that woke us both up. Went to fix that and put the boxes back up. Off to bed again, this time for good.

Today Was One Joyfull Morning... Not!

All four days had heat code “yellow”, meaning the temperatures above 33 degrees C. Did I mention we disabled the air conditioner and the only thing keeping me cool was (and still is) a large fan? (We actually bought another one, slightly smaller, but together they do their job well.) Given the heat, the effort and the lack of proper rest, it’s no wonder my brain protested, throwing me a little surprise waking up party this morning!

Arm pain.. well, forearm pain actually and fatigue. Brilliant! What could you ask for more?

Once more I turned to meditation and yoga. Imagine trying to stand still, calm your breath and silence your mind with your arm hurting like you had a knife going through it! But believe it or not, it gradually subsided.

The yoga moves I chose were ones that did not put strain on my forearm. So, no arm balance, inversions or similar stuff for me today! Only strong, grounding poses, and ones that relaxed my arms and getting my blood flowing and muscles relaxing. Felt very good and further calmed my pain.

The Things I Do To Relax

I like mixing praying, silence and meditation into a 15 minute routine that gets me up and running each day. Then I do a 30 minute freestyle yoga routine, finding what feels good for my body that day, and maybe throwing in a few pose practices if I want to do something extra. After that is shower, breakfast and getting to work!

A Few Conclusions

As I’m finishing this article just now, my arm is still hurting, but the pain is under control. Will do a few stretches after lunch and further give some TLC to my body.

Long story short, if you ever feel like you have too much energy in blazing heat, and it’s too good to be true… it probably is!

So, when faced with summer heat, renovations and busy days, spend your energy gradually and try not to overwork it. Slower is better in this case.

Rest, drink plenty of water and stretch. And then relax and sleep well!

Sincerely,

Alexandra

P.S. Did you ever had a similar experience? How is your MS reacting when mixing high temperatures with a full to-do list? Share your answers on Facebook or Twitter. I would love to hear your story!

Black Knights of MS: Fear, Anger and Anxiety

Multiple sclerosis is known to cause neurological problems in people that live with the condition. There is much to talk about the emotional component and how feelings can affect the brain and life of the MSer. Of course there have been many people before me who tackled this theme, but I felt like I needed to tell it from my point of view.

Black Knights of MS? I know them well. A little bit too well for my taste.

Let’s look at them from a psychological point of view. We have a built-in “alarm system” called the fight-or-flight response. It is responsible for our survival instinct and regulates the emotions we feel (especially the negative ones) when facing danger. 

As we evolved from living in caves, we no longer have danger lurking all over the place. The predator is no longer after our heads, we no longer have to kill it or run from it. We face different troubles: daily stress, defending our principles, values and point of views, our status, etc. It all comes to being territorial. We defend OUR stuff. Some people do that by fighting back and some people do it by running away. But we all react to danger.

In MS, the danger comes from within. There is a battle fought in our bodies. Our brain is at war with our immune system. 

We see the casualties on MRI scans and while living our daily lives. You don’t know when the next attack is going to happen, you don’t know who the victims may be. You just see the ever-present Black Knights. 

You fear a new relapse, you get angry that this happened to you, and you live in a constant state of anxiety. And you don’t even realise it. These knights know how to hide. You go on with your day and you finally snap for no reason. You cry. You feel deep fear. Or deep anger. Your body gets into a stage of fight-or-flight. Your stress hormones begin to rise up and all of a sudden your day feels like crap.

How did I overcome this? I didn’t! I just went and said “Hi!” to the three knights. I got aware of the fact that I am afraid, I am angry and that I become anxious. And then I moved on. I calm myself by journaling, deep breathing, sleeping and taking life slow. You might wonder how is this “zen living” possible in today’s society? How can you live your life avoiding stress, avoiding negative emotions?

I don’t avoid them. I aknowledge them, breathe and move on. Do they backlash at me? Yes. Do I have scary moments of anger, fear and crying? Yes I have. Do they ever go away? Yes, they do. Do they come back? Yes they do. It's a constant battle that you have to aknowledge.

So, if you happen to meet the Black Knights of MS, don’t run away. Face them. Allow yourself to feel fear, anger and anxiety. Breathe deeply. It calms the nervous system and brings oxigenated  blood to your body. 

Then ask yourself WHY did you feel that way? And write it down. Write as much as you need to. Stop when you feel like you’re done. Then go do something else. It will all pass. I’ve been there!

Any negative emotion that has been felt for more than five days in a row, needs to be taken care of. Schedule an appointment with a psychologist, talk to your nurse or neurologist about it and ask for help.

Your brain might be at war, but you need to addapt and overcome the challenges your are faced with. Every single day.

Take care of yourself!

Sincerely,
Alexandra Celic


P.S. Question: Do you feel any of the three knights? Share your experiences on Facebook, Twitter or in a comment down-below. Thank you!
(Photo credit)

Heat & Needles - A short MS summer story

Looking outside my window today, I might think that winter is coming (GoT daydreamer here!). The sky is gloomy, the air is full of cold humidity, but I know it. It’s summer. A grey day of rain can’t fool my MS. It knows best.

I’ve never been so much of a summer fan. Not even in my teenage years. All the “let’s go to the beach and get tanned” had no effect on me, as I always prefered the cool mountain breeze through my hair. There is so much more to do and explore, and the scenery tops it all! Being on a moutain cliff and feeling all that space around, gives me a sense of freedom like I’ve never felt anywhere else.

Eight days from now I’ll celebrate the first year since I met my MS. Of course it had to rear its head during the most wonderful time of the year for me: blazing hot summer! The two loves of my life came together. Yay! MS made me dislike summer so much more. Especially when I have to self-inject.

Guess what? Needles aren’t my personal favorites either. But I made friends with them. After more than 100 days of injecting I can finally say that we know eachothers highs and lows. It’s my adrenaline shot and I’m beginning to feel it working. I don’t mind the sting so much anymore, as I gotten used to it. I breathe and I know it will pass… And then I go take a second morning shower because the 34 degrees outside soaked my t-shirt! And it’s not even 11 a.m.!

So, living at Winterfell sounds like a very good option! Seriously now, I could stand frost bites better than dripping foreheads all day long. That’s why my favorite season has always been winter. It’s where me and my MS find common ground. Plus it makes a good match for my daily needles. They are both cold as ice. Hence the picture in this post.

Looking back at my window, winter has come at least a little bit. It’s raining and the wind is slightly moving the tree leaves. And so my MS is pleased. As am I. We are friends again.

Sincerely,

Alexandra

P.S. Question: How are you handling the summer heat? Does that impact your MS in any way? Share your answers on Facebook, Twitter or in a comment down below. Thank you for visiting!


(Image Credits: Thank you #Soli Art Photography! You made my story come alive. Beautiful image!)