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Three Tip Sequence That Can Help Make Your Bad Day Easier (Especially if it's Monday!)

Sometimes your day isn’t going well at all. You know what I’m talking about. That day when all the troubles start in the morning and then they tumble down until the evening, creating a snowball effect that you can’t wait to get out of. The only solution you see is getting to bed and starting fresh the next day. I used to think the same untill about ten minutes ago, before starting this article.

The point of this article is that of sharing and possibly helping you if you happen to be in a similar situation. It’s Monday afterall. Although I don’t believe the urban folklore about this first day of the week, I find it pretty ironic to have a bad day precisely today.

I thought to myself “What if I just stopped everything I was doing, got outside, breathed in some fresh air and enjoyed a bit of sunshine and then have a 10 minute stretch and breathing session? Will that change anything?” 

I went at it with massive doubt, given the day I’ve had so far, but guess what? The brain can be fooled. Not in a bad way, but it all has to do with shifting your mind from one way of thought and on to other. What you focus on is what you get.



Today, I was thinking nothing is going to turn out right, because the morning was a semi-fiasco, the hours passed so quickly and I was still at the last part of the morning routine, all of it thanks to what my mind thought was a generic “bad day”.

The funny thing happened and as I relaxed and accepted what was happening, it all gradually started to fall into place again. As I’m writting here, I’m feeling more relaxed and able to get on with the rest of the daily tasks.

So, from my personal experience today, here's the sequence that really seems to work and can help you get out from under the “bad day cloud”. 


First of all, find a safe and quiet place. This might be your office, an empty room there, a place in your home, find a place where you can safely and quietly spend 10 minutes relaxing without being interrupted.

1. TAKE SLOW, DEEP BREATHS WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED

Close your eyes and breathe deeply a few times. Feel your mind relaxing. Don't think about anything, just breathe. Fill the lungs with air and then exhale slowly, through the nose.

2. DO SOME LIGHT STRETCHES

Stand up with your legs hip distance appart, inhale while raising your hands above your head, stretching the body. Exhale as you fold forward, as low as you can without bending the knees. After 2-3 breaths, bend the knees gently and release your weight equally onto the feet and let your hands hang loose. As your head is upside down, the blood flows in the opposite direction, the hamstrings are being gently stretched and your brain gets to focus on the movement rather than the troubles of the day. Slowly crawl back up, following the body. When you get back up, rotate the shoulders a few times, take 2-3 long breaths and other moves that feel good to you;

3. DRINK A TALL GLASS OF WATER

One of the reasons why our bodies feel tired and sluggish is because we sometimes forget to hydrate them as we should. Drinking water throughout the day is always a helper.

Now you can resume your day feeling a bit more relaxed and refreshed. At least you got out of that constant tension and snowball mindset.


Sincerely,
Alexandra

The Fear of Being Judged and How Can That Mess With Your Online Content

So I’ve been blogging for quite some time now and my inner perfectionist hasn’t been pleased with the results. Each week, I almost forced myself to find new and relevant subjects to write about, making myself forget why I even started SMart Choice in the first place. That alone can get one feel frustration, anxiety and lack of accomplishments.

And then it dawned on me! I was doing it all wrong! A personal blog shouldn’t be built upon what others expect you to write or on what topics you think people might be interested in! Of course you want to put out your best content and make people either feel better about themselves or help their day in one way or another. Of course you want to put out informative and entertaining content that they ask for and/or need at some point.

The part that almost got out of hand is that where I ended up with general subject posts, when all that I wanted to do in the first place is to write from my own point of view, and thus be able to share my story with like-minded people who might be facing the same situations.

But the mind is equally powerful in two ways: it can make or it can brake your ideas. I’ve written before about why I started a platform talking about my MS story and related topics, but the core-reason slipped away.

I remember how alone I used to feel after receiving my diagnosis and all the frustration towards not knowing no one my age that dealed with the same issues. I searched high and low on the internet, stayed away from all the “classic” horror stories one might find and decided to have a place where I can shine a light over this disease and offer a kind word to anyone who might be in the same situation I was.

I had so many things to say, so many stories to share and so much love and encouragement to give, that I focused to much on doing things by the book and ended up leaving myself somewhere along the road, silenced by my own blog. Imagine that! The irony!

I created a fixed structure that aimed to inform, give health tips and lifestyle articles on a weekly basis, touching some of the “hot topics” in the life of an MSer. Things like fatigue, work and changes have been recurrent topics on SMart Choice, and each generated a fair amount of engagement on Twitter and Instagram.

But where did I fit in? I gasped for air as I searched for the authenticity in the story I wanted to tell. I have been totally honest in all of my articles, but something was missing. That something that sparked in an article here and there and then went off in silence.

We all have the fear of being judged and being labeled, even much so when you have a chronic illness that not many people know about. But now I know better! I thought about all the lovely and brave people I’ve got to know over the last year, and that gave me back the courage to speak my own voice. So many MSers out there came into their own and I feel like it’s time for me to do that too.

After all, I am not defined by my illness, but by my power to live life to the fullest, by the things that I am good at and by the kindness I am so wanting to put out in the world. Long story short, I want to rebuild SMart Choice Lifestyle and shape it around the life and the stories I can give to the world. Make it about the point of view that I can add to so many others that are online.

Expect books, short story writing, visual storytelling, yoga, psychology, brain health and more. All that lived on top of what we MSers call “the snowflake disease”, and that others might know as multiple sclerosis.

It feels so good to take that out of my chest! Especially after the massive anxiety attack I had last night. It came out of nowhere and lifted all my senses into flaming fear. But that’s a whole other article. Soon to come!

Sorry if for some of you it might sound a little overdramatic, that’s how my writing tends to be. It’s missing all the voice, gestures and tonallity that you would have when hearing me talk about the same stuff in real life. Curious about any aspect I talk about? Just ask and I’ll be happy to give you an answer as soon as I can.

Lots of love,
Alexandra

December 2015 - Monthly Learnings & Analytics - #SMartWednesday

Hello there, you! Happy 2016! We begin this year’s posts with a review of what happened in December. It’s better to sum up and count blessings at the end of each year, so this is what we’re gonna do this week at SMart Choice. Let’s begin!

For more structure, I decided to organize the things I want to share with you into three main categories: mind, body and spirit, followed by a short review of the blog and social analytics.

MIND

When the voice in your head is constantly rambling, you can’t do anything right. You tend to be unproductive and feel overly-stressed. What has worked for me and hopefully it will help you too, is allowing myself to let go of whatever was going on inside my mind and unplugg.

Make time for 10 minutes each morning and each evening to simply sit in silence, with your eyes closed, praying, meditating or simply being aware of the present moment. Allow your thoughts to come in, but let them go without making any stories around them. Stop. Breathe. Be calm.

BODY

Making lifestyle changes is like running a marathon. You have to keep up with your training and performance in order to achieve consistant results. The end goal is to be healthy and in shape. The reward you get for doing those healthy choices is the good life you’ll be able to live.

Focus on the race, not on the end goal. Keep away from distractions both culinary and “to tired to exercise” occasions like Christmas, New Years, etc. Taking the easy way out may be good for you now, but in the long run, you’d wish those exceptions never took place.

SPIRIT

All the troubles we face are because we don’t know ourselves from the inside-out. We don’t know who we really are, what are wants and goals are and so we miss the point. Always looking at others, thinking about our past or planning our future, we miss the present moment and who we really are.

Make time for yourself. Start a daily journal and write down three amazing things that happened to you that day. Write about your emotions, plans and wants. Review it weekly and see how you really are and what you stand for.

ANALYTICS

December was a full month for everybody and so there were fewer visits to the blog, but more engagement on Instagram & Twitter. That made me understand that people prefered shorter and more easily digestable content. We could all need more time nowadays so, by making content more concise and of more value, people dropped in to say hi.

As engagement and bringing traffic to the blog go, Instagram and Twitter were on first place, followed by Facebook and Google Plus. The majority of the audience came from USA, Russia and Romania, followed by China, Spain and the United Kingdom.

Thank you so much for making this thing possible!

This was all for this week’s #SMartWednesday! Thanks for being here!
To receive weekly articles, subscribe in the upper right hand corner.

Love,
Alexis

How to Make Smart Choices? - #SMartWednesday

We all heard about SMART goals. They have to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. Been there, done that. But how does a choice look like under the same lens and how does it influence your life? Find out below.


WHAT IS A CHOICE?

A choice is the action of mentally making a decision. The moment when you are faced with options and need to assume just one. There are good choices, there are bad choices. But all you do in your life is choose. You  are your parents’ choice of having children. Think about that.

All that you’ve chosen until now has shaped you in one form or the other. All your daily habits are the consequence of choosing. Success, health and even your dream lifestyle begin with what you choose to do daily. In your morning rituals, in your to do list, in managing your priorities.

CHOOSE YOUR DREAM LIFESTYLE

Think about what you want in life. Mentally draw your ideal lifestyle. Be specific. Give details. Sketch it out on paper. What goals do you have? What do you aim for? List ready? Next, think about what choices you need to make daily in order to get you closer to fulfilling them.

Once you got those noted down, do the work! As Tim Ferriss says, “dreamline” your ideal lifestyle. Meaning that you need to put all of your choices on a timeline, in a time frame that allows you to work consistently and productively to achieve your goals.

Make sure to work in little, attainable steps. This helps you not to get discouraged on the long run. Set tight deadlines and measure your progress as you get to each target. See what choices have worked, what choices need to be done from now on, see what choices weren’t so smart after all.

The most important tip I can give you is to mind your emotions. Be aware of the state of mind you are in when making a choice. In general, positive mindsets generate good ideas, and negative mindsets generate bad ones. Think about moments when you are angry and say something that you later regret. That was a bad choice.

The trick is to do all the things needed to attain a positive state of mind, to be happy and calm in order to be able to focus on choosing well, on choosing smart. That’s what SMart Choice Lifestyle is all about! I’m here to guide your way into making the right choices for you. The choices that are in allignment with who you are as a person, and with what you want to do with your life.

In order to gain a positive mindset you have to change the way you see the world. Transform the way you think of yourself and your life. All change is triggered by something that happened, is happening or will happen in your life.

The catch is to learn how to accept, adapt and finally overcome whatever negative things you have in your life right now. Be it stress, anxiety, disability, fear, anger, being overweight, depressed, etc. The biggest change comes from within and goes from the inside-out.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

There are three layers we need to peal in order to start acting our choices: body, mind and emotion. Join me tomorrow as we start working on how to declutter and simplify our bodies from the inside out.

Question of the day: How did choices influenced your life so far? Tell me all about it in the comments below.


This was all for this week’s #SMartWednesday! Thanks for being here! Subscribe in the upper right hand corner so you don't miss any articles.

Love,

Alexandra

Monthly Learnings & Blog Statistics NOVEMBER 2015 #SMartWednesday

It’s time to see how November went in terms of lessons learned and blog stats. At the beginning of each month, I count the blessings and misfortunes of the previous one. Welcome to #SMartWednesday Monthly Learnings & Stats Edition! Keep reading to find out more.


EXPERIENCES & WHAT YOU SHOULD ALSO KNOW

In order to have the lifestyle you wish, you have to make the right and smart choices for you. Do what suits you best and what makes you happy. These are my choices for this month. I choose to share them as pieces of advice that you can adjust in your own lifestyle as needed.

  1. Declutter & simplify the way you live. Go through all your possesions by category and sort each one of them into three piles: keepers, donate, garbage. If you are emotionally attached to a certain item but you don’t use / look at it for weeks in a row, take a picture of it and let it go. For really important items, design a “Memory Box” and add them to it. Then put the box away so that it doesn’t take up your day to day space. Do one category at a time and don’t be pressured to finish. The calmer you are, the best choices you will be able to make.
  2. Let go of negative emotions. You can do this as often as you’d like. Start with once a month ad then go deeper, once a week to daily. All you have to do is to write down all the negative emotions you have felt in the last month, week, day. Have a column for the negative emotion and another one for its reason. Ask yourself why did you feel that, as many times as it takes to get to an answer that you feel it’s right for you. Then forgive those who have done you wrong, ask for forgiveness and most importantly, forgive yourself! Forgive and let go. It’s the most powerful thing you’ll ever experience.
  3. Find balance in life. All the elements in your day need to be aligned in order to help you train your body, mind and emotions to focus and produce better work by staying on schedule. With everything in balance, you don’t have to rethink how, why and when to do things every time you do them. It automates your daily schedule, your week, your month.
  4. Prioritise & simplify routines. If you don’t have established routines, work on building at least two: a morning and an evening one. Make them times of getting back to yourself. Begin and end the day with a clear and eased mind. It does wonder for your brain and way you approach things. Work on having a simple daily schedule and batch similar tasks together, as to save energy. Tweak it as many times as you need.
  5. Visualise your ideal lifestyle & note it all down on a piece of paper. Be as specific as you can be. When you are finished, grab a marker and go over the goals and plans you have in your description. Transcribe them on a separate paper and then work your way down this list, and assign plans and actions for each goal. Make weekly plans of action and daily tasks that will get you closer to your goals each day. Action is the key to all plans and goal setting. Do it!
  6. Go inwards & go deep. Allow yourself at least 10 minutes in the morning and 10 in the evening to really stay silent and think about what your intentions are and what your day has been like respectively. Analyze your motivations, reasons and decisions and write down the most important three things for that day. Three intentions in the morning and three woderful things that happened. You could go even deeper and write an entire page for each. The choice is yours.
  7. Learn to unwind & let go of control. The world doesn’t stop if you don’t control it. Stop. Breathe. Be calm. You’ve done your best for the day. Unwind. Take a hottish shower and do some light stretches, just enough to losen those tight muscles. Close all distractions or put them in a different room: phone, TV, computer. Change into something comfortable, pour a glass of red wine and put on some music, or read a book, or simply lay in bed with your eyes closed. Let go of all things around you and just be. Re-lax, my dears, relax!

SMART CHOICE STATS & SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT

This month I am upset. The Analytics part of my blog got screwed up by some annoying crawlers and spam links that scrambled the statistics I wanted to share with you.

Although the numer of unique visitors has gone up (546 - 70% new, 30% returning), the bounce rate was 93% (percent of leaving the site after a few seconds or just a few minutes) with an average of 32 seconds / session and of 2 pages / session.

Most of my referral traffic came from places like adf.ly (221 users), get-your-social-buttons.info (128 users), snip.to (51 users), site13545613.snip.to (25 users). It's pointless to get high on 500+ unique views when they have no value. 

Social was the same as last month, the major traffic bringers were Facebook and Twitter. The most engaged social community was that on Instagram, with 42 new followers and 10+ comments. Twitter comes up second, with 11 new followers and 5+ retweets. Facebook was more layed back this month, with only three more likes.

Blog demographics changed for the better as this month: more than half of you guys were female, with ages between 25-34 (70.91%). The rest were from the upper age groups and / or male. The information on SMart Choice Lifestyle is specifically designed to fit the needs of this age group (female AND male), so I am happy about the outcome.

Most of you guys were from Northern America, Eastern Europe and Eastern Asia. The rest were from Western and Northern Europe, Australasia, South America, Southern Europe and Southeast Asia. Thank you Ontario, New York, Moscow, Yekaterinburg, Kiev, Beijing, Amsterdam, Brighton, Brisbane, for being interested in this lifestyle platform.

The top 5 most read articles in November (click to read each article):

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

I am so grateful for the opportunity to write weekly articles on SMart Choice. I am even more grateful to have people interested in what I have to say. My day is happy if I make only a single one of you guys make the smart choices that will change your life in a positive & healthy way.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your life this month also! 

This was all for this week’s #SMartWednesday! Thanks for being here!
You can Subscribe in the upper right hand corner.

Love, 
Alexis

#SMartWednesday - October 2015 Monthly Learnings & Blog Statistics

Hi there! Missed talking to you since last week! I’m back with #SMartWednesday. Starting with this October, at the end of each month, I write all about what my experiences were, what did I learn and let you in on stats of the ‪#‎SMartChoiceMS‬social media platforms. Let’s dig into it!

Experiences & Growth

October has been an interesting month for me as I discovered so many new things and correlated with like-minded people, in real life and/or via social media. This goes for both SMart Choice issues, as well as for personal ones. It's a very fulfilling and changing experience to have.

Quieting the mind even more  through meditation has made me a more focused and more in depth-view kind of person. It has reconnected me to my inner spark and helped me face and come to terms with most of my fears and anxieties. But not be fooled! This has been an ongoing process for over a year now, and I am just begining to scratch the surface. Nonetheless, I like what I’m finding on a daily basis.

I understood my WHY in doing all that I do. I know! Pretty deep stuff, huh? In fact it’s very simple and could happen to you too. I just looked deep inside myself and understood the reason that has always made me tick. The one thing that was always a part of me, no matter what was the type of thing I was doing at a certain moment in life. They say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. There were several ones which appeared. I will talk more about that this Friday, on #LifestyleFriday.

Lessons Learned

Pay attention to the five people you surround yourself with (in real life/online/dead/alive). You are the average of those individuals. It will reflect in your ideas and your point of view. It does change your world view and the way you connect to reality, in time influencing the way you evolve or decline along the way.

I kept my brain active and searched for ways to give back to all of you (show gratitude) and how I can be of assistance. I tried to remain humble and listen to your story instead of constantly telling mine. We’re on a social relationship and it’s a win-win situation.

Being social and connected with likeminded people can truly make a difference. I know that many of you are visiting SMart Choice Lifestyle via a desktop computer. Some of you could have difficulties getting outside or perhaps you are to busy to network in real life.

That’s what social networks were created for. Go online, engage, get into discussions with peers. There is nothing more rewarding than talking to people who understand what you’re going through or that are into the same things as you are.

If you are a young MSer, newly diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, there’s no better place for you to be than on shift.ms. It has been my hub from the first month I found out I had MS, and the people there have helped me tremendously. Go check it out!

You have to stand up for yourself and be your own advocate. Even if it’s through tears.

Stats & Social

October looked pretty interesting in terms of statistics and social media engagement. I put aside my innate introversion and really got engaged with people on social. And the most wonderful thing happened: you began to respond and did what human beings always have done. Communicate. Be curious. Support an idea if it resonated with you.

That translated into a overall growth for SMart Choice, compared to the previous month.
The blog had 448 unique visitors, of which entirely new ones made up 41% of the total.

You spent an average of 4 minutes / session, with an average of 3 pages / session.

The demographics showed that during this month, you were 100% female, with ages between 35-54. Is that true? Raise your hands if you’re not from this interval.

The top 3 places from which you guys visited SMart Choice were: Romania, UK and the USA. Followed by Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Russia, Switzerland, Ireland and Spain. Thank you all for visiting!

Socials looked like this: Facebook - 40 likes, Twitter - 86 followers, Instagram - 42 followers. This numbers are reached this month, and reflect the whole eight months since starting the blog.

Most of the traffic was sourced through Facebook, followed by shift.ms and last but not least by Twitter. Instagram did not bring any traffic whatsoever. I’m working on posting more interesting content, so that you can receive more value through what I give.

This was all for this week’s #SMartWednesday! Thank you for reading and if you would like to receive my next articles right into your mail, subscribe to SMart Choice Lifestyle by filling your email adress in the box on the upper right. Join my SMart Warriors list to receive access to Premium content and many more!

Have a most wonderful day!

Sincerely,
Alexandra

WorkOutMS: About Doing The Work While Having Multiple Sclerosis

Yesterday I twitt chatted about work and Multiple Sclerosis at the wonderful Twitter event #WorkOutMS. Organized by the European Multiple Sclerosis Platform, hosted by Emma Rogan and with a special guest like Shift.ms, I couldn’t have been in a better company. It was aimed at shedding light to working with MS in today’s context.


WHAT WAS IT ALL ABOUT?

Important topics were adressed, as the twitts came pouring down the screen. Issues like remote working, flexible hours, colleague interraction, adapting the workplace to Multiple Sclerosis, disclosing the illness to the employers and team, gathered all of the participants in sharing knowledge, insight and encouragements on the matters discussed.


Work is an important part of any adult’s life. It gives you something to do, something to contribute to society, it supports you financially. It even defines your identity and self-worth. That’s why, when you get diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, you enter mourning. You grieve not only your long lost health, but the future of your job and/or career. What will it happen now?


MY STORY & HOW CAN YOU ADAPT IT TO FIT YOU

As I returned to work after a week in hospital (I talked more about it here), I was fair and square with my employer and told him I have been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was faced with the classical appoach: “Are you all right? Are you going to be able to live the same (to be read as Are you going to be able to work as before?)? I am sorry this happened!”.


Over the coming week, I sensed a powerful tension between me recovering from the optical neuritis and my employee being concerned with recovering his sales target that month. We had a lot of back and forth conversations about strategies, quotas and persuasion techniques.


Untill later that week, when he told me I needed to do more and that he doesn’t see that in me. I sat and thought about that and I suddenly realised that he was right. I did not have it in me to make his quota. Simply because I was feeling used and robbed of my right to heal. Robbed of my time to understand the things I was going through. And so I resigned and took a sabbatical to clear and order my thoughts into place.


Taking a year off like I did is not a thing that all people with Multiple Sclerosis can afford. It was not easy, and it implied a bit of financial struggle. But we all need time. We all need to go through this life changing event at our own pace. Stress is not our friend, and dealing with semi-ignorant people sure doesn’t help much.


Of course, I am sure that on a human level he felt sorry and was compassionate for me. But on the other hand, I could see the fear that lurked inside him. Will his target be safe? Will he make the same amount of money? Am I still a productive employee?


As a future business owner, I totally understand him. He wants to make a profit. That’s why he got into having his own business. But he also needs to understand, he needs to help, he needs to see both ways. His employee also has need for profit. It also has bills to pay and a family to feed and a career to grow. I urge him to give more and ask for less. It will repay him ten fold. He just has to have patience.


IGNORANCE IS BLISS. OR ISN’T IT?

Most employers are unaware of the kind of issues people with Multiple Sclerosis face on a daily basis. Can you blame them? You too would be interested in making a profit while downsizing the overall costs, if you were in their shoes. That’s the capitalist “factory mentality”.


They have a business, they have employees that give their all and settle for a wage. Do the job less good than usual, and you become prone to being downgraded, less payed or even fired. And all that because you are not productive enough. Because you aren’t an asset anymore. You become a liability. How wrong is this mentality? Not so wrong given the actual corporate way of thinking. It’s all about profit.


But it’s also about understanding that an employee who has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis does not stop being an asset just because it can’t work full speed ahead anymore. Multiple Sclerosis is a neurological illness, it has nothing to do with a person’s intelligence or mental skills.


At its best, it only deals with minor cognitive issues, fatigue and/or heat sensitivity. In worst cases, it has to deal with wheelchairs, speech or dexterity. But it is all manageable, it can be adjusted as to help the person dealing with it be the most productive he or she can be.


WHAT CAN BE DONE TO CHANGE THE STATUS-QUO?

In today’s world, lots of actions are being taken in order to support people with Multiple Sclerosis who want to keep their jobs and thrive on them. The best example I can give, and one that I am deeply happy about, is the European Employment Pact for People with Multiple Sclerosis (click on the link to read), created by the European Multiple Sclerosis Platform.


It mainly states that the working skills and abilities of a person with MS must be taken into account. It also treats important issues like staying in work / being active and self sustainable, in order to have a thriving personal and professional life while making money to support it all.
Last, but not least, it emphasizes to provide sustainable employment for people with MS.


My personal approach is to take a leap of faith and start my own business. Multiple Sclerosis is a condition that strips away all control. I plan to gain it back by taking control over my financial wellbeing and my career path. It is simply what I chose to do, not what I say you should do also. We all have our own lives, our own conditions, but in a life that has Multiple Sclerosis dangling over our heads, the best approach is to be proactive and take control over your life.


Fight for your rights. Fight for your wellbeing. Fight for destroying stigma regarding disease and incapability of work. Fight for a better future. With or without Multiple Sclerosis.

This was all for this week’s #SMartWednesday! Thank you for reading and if you would like to receive my next articles right into your mail, subscribe to SMart Choice and join my SMart Warriors list!
Have a most wonderful day!
(For reading the whole twitt chat I talk about, click #WorkOutMS)


Sincerely,
Alexandra