ABOUT THAT SCARY PLACE INSIDE OUR MINDS - 8 TIPS FOR MENTAL HEALTH (#WorldMentalHealthDay) | SMart Choice Lifestyle

PROLOGUE

“I pirouette in the dark

I see the stars through a mirror

Tired mechanical heart

Beats 'til the song disappears

Somebody shine a light

I'm frozen by the fear in me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

So cut me from the line

Dizzy, spinning endlessly

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me”

(Lindsey Stirling featuring Lzzy Hale - Shatter Me)

AFTERMATH OF THE RAT-RACE

I oftentimes wake up at seven in the morning already feeling anxious or with my mind racing over my to-do list. It’s like I wake up starting the race, and then I go on through my day running, but the only running really goes on inside my head. And it’s exhausting!

We seem to not have time to just sit anymore. Simply stand still and let our minds relax and just be… just enjoy the moment. We are so wired to technology and to a responsive state, that we lose all of our connection to the outside world. And technology is just a bleep in this whole chaotic picture.

We are wired for connection. For feeling close to other people. Today’s society is disconnecting. Work is disconnecting. Technology is disconnecting. We have less and less time to spend with our own thoughts, in contact with what we feel, and thus we become more and more disconnected from ourselves.

Society is fast-forwarding us to progress and pushing us more and more over the edge.

Underneath a calm expression, there can exist tons and tons of emotional pain. Things that happened, things that hurt us, things that remained unresolved. Too often this anger becomes pointed towards ourselves, the only one responsible for the state we’re in is our own person.

We criticize, judge, and even physically tend to hurt ourselves in order to no longer feel those negative emotions. We no longer know how to deal with them. We become disconnected from the rituals the old society had.

Our brains process it all and sometimes they make mistakes. Given our chaotic lives, the brain strives to adapt, but overuse can lead to trouble.

WE ALL MISS SOMETHING IMPORTANT

It’s that feeling that something in our lives is missing. And in the search for it, we can get hurt. And with strained relationships and constant disconnection, there’s no one there to catch us if we fall. That’s what we miss. That’s what we always look for: relationships. Meaningful ones, to be understood, cared for, accepted and loved. Loved with all our faults, quirks and ideas. Loved for who we are and for whom we might become.

OUR MINDS HAVE BECOME A SCARY PLACE

But out there is nothing but shame. People only see the negative side, people are fearful of what they don’t know or don’t understand. They need to be told that mental health is just as important as physical health. If someone has a mental illness, things can get better.

There’s this stigma that sees mental illness as dangerous, but in fact is more self-harming than a threat to others. Outside anger might come from feeling misunderstood one times to many, from feeling alone and scared. Because our minds can become a scary place. An overwhelming, non-stop chatting, scary place.

We feel trapped inside a parallel reality, full of fears, shadows and pain. But the truth and the light are out there. We forget that we are more than our thoughts. The mind only fulfills its duty: thinking. When it overthinks, that’s when we need to press pause. Unplug from the hamster wheel that we call modern life and return to ourselves.

The answer we’re all looking for is not in our thoughts, not in our fears or anger. It’s hidden inside us. In fact, it’s not even hiding. It has been there all along, waiting for us to remember it. Do you know who you once were? Do you still remember the kid inside? It’s all there. Your reasons, motivations, dreams and hopes. Buried under years and years of neglect and stress.

SEARCH FOR THE KID INSIDE 

I see mental health issues as a signal from the kid we all have inside us. And it’s not pure fantasy. We all look for happiness and a life without concerns. We all want to be loved and want to pursue our dreams. We all love and want to be loved. We all feel hurt by people and we regret hurting others. That’s the kid talking to you.

Everytime you fight these issues, your youngest self is searching for giving and receiving love. Is looking for something to help it rediscover the world as it once saw it. That world is still there. We build modern society upon it.

STRENGTH THROUGH FAITH

The way I always find my way back is through letting go of the apparent control I we all think we have over what’s happening to and around us. I let go and accept the situation I find myself in. Then, I begin to search for lessons and solutions that are going to help me go through my emotional or physical pain better. For me, the guide that is always with me is Jesus Christ. More about my journey and lessons learned, HERE.

When I accept that I can’t control my situation, I take it as is, go through it and have patience to be transformed. Every experience that we have changes us in one way or another. I choose to take the lesson and be grateful that I have the opportunity to learn and grow. Even through suffering, pain and fear.  

LETTING GO OF EGO & BECOME HUMBLE

I used to despise being hurt, be it physically or emotionally. I hated feeling not enough and rejected by others. But then I realised that those things were the truth I had chosen to see. I was trapped into poisoning my own mind with helpless thoughts: “Why me? Why is this happening to me? Why don’t bad people develop multiple sclerosis?” and a whole bunch more.

It might be hard to digest, understand or accept, but suffering happens with a reason: to make us humble again. To clean our hearts and minds of all the negativity we have stored in them throughout. We are bombarded with being competitive, always on the run, always striving to become the best at our craft, always working… and never really being present.

BE PRESENT AND PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE

Life is fleeting. A moment is just a bleep on our screens. Life is much more than a rat race. Life is about living vulnerably, about accepting your challenges and understanding that you are not alone in this.

All over the world, there are people who have struggles that you know nothing about. Worse struggles, easier ones, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that counts is feeling grateful for what you have now, because somebody else might not even have that chance. Who am I to complain and rebel against life?

Anger never built anything. Negativity only destroys. Keep those inside your heart and they will certainly destroy you.

You suffer to become aware of your own self. Look at what you have, look at how you can do to help others. Accept yourself just the way you are and work to better the things that you feel could be better.

The choice is always yours to make. The outcome is not in your hands. Let go. God always knows what He’s doing.

8 STEPS THAT HELPED ME IMPROVE MY MENTAL HEALTH

#WorldMentalHealthDay 2016 (yes, it was yesterday)

1. Journal - one of the best ways to switch off that overthinking mind is to create space inside it. Write down all your concerns, fear, angsts and emotions. Once on paper, they will look more real and measurable. You can then analyze them and see that they’re not real. Look around you, life is beautiful even if it’s not perfect.
2. Help others - take time to be there for others that need you. Find a cause to help on, teach people how to deal with things you’ve already been through, help with the dishes, with a kind word, be there for someone and just listen to them, comfort them and make them understand that you’re there to comfort them.
3. Reach out to people and talk about your problems - remember the journaling at no. 1? It can be used to better understand your own thoughts and become able to tell them to others. Talk to people you trust and love, a psychologist, a priest, whatever choice you have. The thing is, talking about what you’re going through leads to being understood and finding a solution to your inner struggle.
4. Reconnect to yourself - let go of always being in charge. Take time to enjoy the things you’ve already achieved, sit and have a chat with your own self. Sit still and simply begin to enjoy your presence, without anything attached to it. Listen to your favorite music, read the Bible, become aware of how it feels to live inside your body. Yet again journaling is helpful. Write these feelings and thoughts down. Let them go on paper.
5. Sleep more - the relative amount of sleep needed by an adult is between 8-9 hours / night. Make the choice of going to bed in time to be able to sleep that much before you wake up. During sleep, the brain cleans out toxins created throughout the day, while thinking, feeling and taking care of all the operations that your body did.
6. Eat better - good nutrients feed the body and help rise the levels of energy. Foods like vegetables, fruit, pickled vegetables, rice, fish and lean meats, nuts and seeds are proven to make the body stronger and healthier if consumed regularly, as part of a lifestyle choice.
7. Move your body - we have mobile joints, because we were made to move, not sit on the couch all day long. It can be comfortable, especially when holding a heavy tablet or while keeping one’s eyes on Facebook and Instagram all day. But the body needs to move its muscles. Exercise gets rid of pain, stiffness, makes you more alert and even more happy, through the release of endorphins, hormones that make you feel good.
8. Be grateful for what you have and let go of control - look at what you do have, realistically. All hardship and trauma can be overcomed. All past negative things are now gone and you are still standing. You did good! Keep on being strong and learn from your experiences. Feel the gratitude; why are certain things important to you? Remember that things don’t always go the way we plan them and that’s OK. The things that we can act upon is our choices. Choose life, choose to become wiser.

Every human is important and worthy. The main thing is that you are not alone. Most people feel the same way, but few speak up. We all have the need to heal our mental health, because the world we live in needs healing. One human at a time.

Accept to be shattered. Life needs a little chaos before it smoothes out things again. It’s the only way we grow. We have both positive and negative emotions. They’re part of us.

Liked this post? Let me know if you’d want me to write a more extensive piece on this topic, or on smaller topics from it. Would love to hear your opinion on this! Leave your comments down below.

Sincerely,

Denisa

How to Continue Living with Ease after Trauma | SMart Choice Lifestyle

There's this moment right after the diagnosis, when you are in need of answers. You want to know what's happening and most of all, you want to know how to make things better. 

WHERE TO START?

"Is there a possibility to continue living even after receiving a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis? Can I resume my goals and dreams and live the life I want, even faced with the unpredictability of relapses and possible disability? Is there anyone out there who has been through this and can give me some advice?"

These were most of the questions that went through my mind as I was beginning my research on all things Multiple Sclerosis. As a newly diagnosed 28 year old in the summer of 2014, I was angry. Upset at life for throwing this at my face, when I hadn't even began to live the way I wanted. I felt alone, as nobody was able to tell me more than some small details about how to handle this. Nothing about prevention methods, how to deal with all the emotional baggage. I felt really alone.

One thing I knew for sure: I was willing to fight this and get my life back the way I wanted. Life was going to be on my terms, and nothing was going to stop me. I am going to help at least one person not feel as alone as I did when first faced with Multiple Sclerosis.

LIFE HAPPENS

Then anxiety and rage came laughing at my face. They made me more irascible and snappy. But I still held on to dear life. "I am the boss here, I have the rules,  I know best. I, I , I... !! " This was just the fear of losing all that I knew I was. Fear of losing myself in the process. And as all people in distress do, I began looking for support outside of myself. I looked for something to soothe my inner soul, the one that was shaking like a leaf in the face of uncertainty. 

WALKING THROUGH THICK FOG

Who was I losing? Who was I really? How can I cope with all of this? What's the worse that can happen? I immersed myself in studying all that I could, ranging from brain anatomy, healthy living, psychology, introspection, journaling,  blood test markers, treatments and exercise. 

Yeah! Exercise seemed very interesting, as MS is known to go after one's mobility. But I wasn't allowed to get my body to heated. What could I do in order to move but not force too much? YOGA! Such a good idea!

And Yoga was a great idea for more than a year. As I learned the poses, breathing and routines, I also began to discover how my body worked. Little by little, I found out how my mind worked. It all went together. At the same time, my spirit was turning even more so to God. 

For a long time, I had an eclectic spiritual philosophy going on, one made out of Christian belief, universal energy and accepting the flow of things and connecting to the higher power through prayer and letting go of my Ego (the "I, I, I, I!!" part of my mind that kept being afraid and angry).

ACHIEVING CLARITY

As I got closer and closer to God, I decided to read the whole Bible for the first time in my life. And from January this year, there was no turning back. I slowly let go of Yoga, as my focus shifted. I have always been a faithful person. Being raised in a Christian Orthodox family that was very open to religion, that encouraged learning about Jesus and the stories of the Bible, I grew in perfect acceptance of a higher power and in fascination with the story of Jesus of Nazareth. 

Little did I know back then that this seed was going to prove to be my salvation. The thing that will help me out of the crash and burn of my Ego and internal fears and demons. To keep it short for this article: LOVE is the ongoing message of Christianity, the silver lining that goes through all of us and is at the bottom of all joy and inner peace. When you understand this, it all becomes crystal clear: the so called fear of God is in fact the love we have for Him. All love implies respect and obedience. We strive to please the ones we love. It's that simple!

This is my perspective on things, as I was born and raised a Christian. But whatever your belief, this still applies: LOVE is transcending all creation, it's the unifying energy.

CLARITY PUT TO WORK

But first, I had to become humble. To understand that if I had been given this burden was because I needed to learn a lesson: to love myself more, to love and give others more, to do what I love, to be more compassionate and kind to others. 

There really is power in suffering and what it brings out. God doesn't play around. He gave me a harsh wake up call, a personal trauma to wake me up to the purpose we all need to have: love one another! Get my head out of my own... and start living in harmony with the people around me and with my own self. Multiple Sclerosis was the most personal lesson I had to learn. I had other lessons but failed to go deeper and become aware of their teachings. I wrote more about them and why following your heart is crucial, HERE.

Nowadays, I live my life with the knowledge that my life has a purpose. I know that all fear fades away in the face of God. I know that the only one that truly understands and accepts me is Jesus, and the kind of relationship we have with Him will mirror the way we treat ourselves and the people around us. 

I know that when I surrender my Ego and accept my faults, when I am humbled by my mistakes, I grow, I become the best version of me possible. It's my personal choice. I continue reading the Bible every morning. It's part of my routine, along with breakfast and my daily Copaxone injection.

HOW CAN ALL THIS HELP YOU?

Simple! Here are three things you could do starting today, that will bring you closer to living with ease after going through a traumatic experience. Little by little, the pain will subside and you will continue living.

1. Allow yourself to go through the emotional pain

We are made to feel both happy and negative emotions. When we're happy, we accept that wholeheartedly. The same needs to happen with suffering. We need to feel that pain in order to get passed it. Otherwise, it gets repressed, we numb or ignore it and then the damage is longer and harder. Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, afraid and all that. 

2. Daily journaling 

A practice that will benefit you in many ways than one. You could say that when you suffer, you don't feel like writing, you don't have the energy. A journal is the most important tool you'll ever have.

It allows you to brain-dump all your suffering without complaining that you whine to much or you should stop. It only asks the questions you write. It allows you to objectify your thoughts and feelings. As you write them down, you become aware of them and the rational part of your brain kicks in and analyzes them. Maybe not at that moment, but on the long run, you'll see. It's the perfect tool for self-awareness and getting in touch with who you are deep inside.

3. Give more of yourself to others

Make helping others your goal. Look for opportunities to help your family and friends with whatever they might need. If you're going through something traumatic, they're probably affected to. Helping them would be just simply sit down and hear them out, listen to what they have to say. Let them pour their heart out. Be their journal! 

Move outside your close circle: look for causes that you can join, or start your own. That's how SMart Choice Lifestyle began: I wanted to help others make the best decisions for their life, even if they were going through hard times. And that's still my goal. It's the reason you're reading this article.

Liked this post? Subscribe HERE, to be sure we stay connected. Let me know if you’d want me to write a more extensive piece on this topic, or on smaller topics from it. Would love to hear your opinion on this! Leave your comments down below.

P.S. Listening to Chopin proves to be amazing for my focus when writing :)) What's your concentration trick (if you have one)?

Sincerely,

Denisa

METAMORPHOSIS - ep. 24 - I Respect | SMart Choice Lifestyle

When was the last time you really felt like yourself? When did you connect to your inner core, to that playful, joyful, child-like energy that you thought to be gone as you grew up? It always comes back to you when you're emotionally and mentally balanced, when you're free of negativity.

It's similar to getting back to a really good mood that you feel like yourself again, ready to conquer anything. And you have that deep breathing and slight dumb smile on your face. Face it, we all have it. It's OK to have it. As kids we did more than that, we laughed our hearts out, we poured them onto the table. That was before we learned they can get broken.

Show some respect to your own heart. Like you would do to an old and dear friend, show it some love and appreciation for where it brought you. It went to war for you, had disappointments, fear, anger, skipped a beat. All that for you to be able to live the way you wanted at that time.

The true nature of our hearts is to be good, to show love, to make us compassionate and helping. To show gratitude and mercy. To correct injustice, to make people around us happy and filled with joy. It's greatest aim is to merge with the divine. And what more can we do to this world before that moment, rather that love it fully, completely and without expecting anything in return.

Respect the hearts in other people too. They might have gone through harder times still. Treat anyone you meet with compassion, with kindness. Nowadays people are bruised, cynical, fearfull and disconnected. But a good heart will always make them think. Hopefully it will make them ask questions. Ideally, their own enclosed hearts will begin to shatter the wall they've built up. 

Respect is nothing but a big admiration for other's achievements, abilities or qualities. Respect is a form of love. Love for others, love for yourself.

That is all for today's article. If you want to know more about HOW to begin the process of respecting your heart, let me know in the comments below.

As always, transformation happens from within.

Have a wonderful day,

Denisa

METAMORPHOSIS - ep. 23 - I Surrender | SMart Choice Lifestyle

Some time ago you got scared of being emotionally hurt. You were afraid of showing your vulnerability and kept it locked inside you. That didn't allow you to be put in any vulnerable situation, where you depended on other's acceptance, mercy or attention. You fought back whenever that happened. You were getting way to cautious.

Until you understand that sensibility is in fact a strength that allows you to deeper understand and empathize with people and the world around you. You understand that all this time you were just blocking your natural way of being: compassionate, warm, giving, in fear of what others will say or do. Who cares?

Nobody looks that closely at you... not so much time anyway. We are all self-focused. We only hear others out, take them into account when they make it personal, when it involves us. Either through love or hate, we are activated by what others throw at us. Hate and anger made us close in the first time around. How about opening our hearts and give some kindness and compassion instead?

So, another two lessons here: want to involve people in your cause? Make them care, establish a connection. Want everyone to leave you alone? Stop reacting to them, interrupt that connection.

Stop resisting to what you feel inside. Give your heart the power to make your life brighter. Allow yourself to give parts of you to others. It feels wonderful to make people smile. It's humbling to find out that you've motivated someone to not give up and move onwards with life. You might cry in either one of these moments, but surrender to that to. It's authentic.

Feel free to be your own self. This world has to many masks going on already. A mask, a standardized human being never amazed anyone. Surrender to your true self. Surrender to being alive and living the best life you can possibly offer to the world around you.

That is all for today's article. If you want to know more about HOW to begin the process of surrendering, let me know in the comments below.

As always, transformation happens from within.

Have a wonderful day,

Denisa

METAMORPHOSIS - ep. 22 - I Am Focused | SMart Choice Lifestyle

The fireplace has always been a central focal point of every home or community for ages. It brought heat, food and a means to socialize and tell stories. At its root, the term "focus" literally means "domestic heath" (domestic fireplace floor). To focus means to pay particular attention to something or someone. 

When you're blocking out everything else and concentrating on just one thing, you know that you're focused. What happens when you're so into doing something that you become oblivious of all other stuff around you? Time flies by.

Focus compresses time. When you're caught up in experiencing / doing a certain activity, you understand that all things are relative, given the situation you find yourself in at a certain moment.

It's all a matter of perspective, of how you perceive what's happening. It's a matter of how you choose to see your reality. In this particular situation, we talk about time, but the relativity applies to how you define a situation to be real, how you picture it to be, to what emotions, beliefs or actions you associate to it. It's all about what choices you're making.

We can't make every decision right, but we can train to get the majority of them done the smart way. Be aware of your feelings, actions, consequences and surroundings. Get informed, ask questions and then focus on doing things right. Focus on bringing more good into this world.

You have your very own fireplace inside you. It's the place from which every emotion pours out of you when you feel, the place you feel broken when you get rejected or get the impression that you don't belong. That inner fireplace is your heart. With every beat it tells your story, it gathers your experiences. 

We all have an infinite amount of love inside. For others and most importantly for ourselves. You might not be aware of this yet, but love is in your heart. Your self-confidence might be low, but you still care about yourself and what happens to you. Take time to go deeper. Take time to focus. You'll be surprised of how much you actually keep locked inside.

It's a different process for everyone, it might take longer or happen very quickly. The main idea here is to start. Come back to your inner fireplace. To your inner focus. Then write down what happened. It will be your most cherished memory, I promise you!

That is all for today's article. If you want to know more about HOW to begin the process of inner focusing, let me know in the comments below.

As always, transformation happens from within.

Have a wonderful day,

Denisa

METAMORPHOSIS - ep. 21 - I Enjoy | SMart Choice Lifestyle

To enjoy means to like what you're experiencing. To feel joy and to be at ease. To give joy to others. When the mind is wondering and stressed, you're basically not there, not in the moment. That leads to automatizing your actions, which in turn don't give you any joy, getting you frustrated pretty quickly.

We all get that tendency of doing things a certain way, not because our lives depend on it, but because that's what is expected of us. Expectations are (most of the time) the root of getting disappointed. In a world so diverse, projecting a subjective (wanted) outcome onto situations and people you cannot control paves the way to getting hurt.

Of course you can still trust people and situations and predict their actions and outcomes in relation to you. I'm just saying that it's often best to allow space for flexibility and adaptation. The world around us is constantly changing. Grabbing hold of only a certain point of view can be damaging.

Situations have multiple versions and different outcomes that not always depend on your input. Accepting that is the first step you can do to have more ease and peace of mind. Humans are adaptable creatures, you are able to get passed something unexpected. You get better at it with time, true; but the real insight here is that you are able to do it!

There can even be thoughts of giving up your activity, because you are not getting what you want from it. Here's what I think you can do. Take time for yourself. Let all thoughts and worries melt away. 

Begin moving your body, stretch it out. Let go of judging that you're stiff, tight or unable to do x or y things. Focus on what is available to you at this time and find joy in that. Like what you do. Breathe. 

Find what makes you feel good in that moment, what gives you the satisfaction of getting a thing done well, not what keeps you from doing it perfectly. Life is not about perfectionism, but about finding the imperfections, about finding how and why you react a certain way when you can or can't do a certain thing. It's all part of a process.

It's about ups and downs. Basically, it's a rollercoaster. Remember what I said about trusting the outcome (click HERE)? Keep at it, have faith. Do your best and see how it all turns out. You'll be surprised on how different each moment will be.

As always, transformation starts from within.

Have the most wonderful day!

Denisa

One Year of Smart. A Few Lessons Learned

Happy day today, everyone! SMart Choice Lifestyle blog is now officially 1 year old! This is the 100th article I write, and for some reason is the easiest yet hardest one I’ve had to do so far. That’s because it’s always a bit hard to translate how you feel on paper (well, screens ;) ).

So, for that mather, I decided to record the article for today, transforming it into a beta-podcast, broadcasted on the SMart Choice YouTube account. Although it’s not video, it’s a thing I wanted to try for a long while. And now I have the perfect occasion.

I talk bits and pieces about my background, how the blog came to be and what this entire experience has taught me. It’s only a small part of the topics I want to add to this blog, so see it as it is: a first episode of something that will in time grow.

“Human Choices - Stories of Transformation From Within” aims to be a series that tells the stories of becoming a better, more stronger version of ourselves, with or without living with a chronic illness like multiple sclerosis. In the end, MSers are my core target, but change is universal, so everybody’s welcome!

So, without further adue, I let you discover more by clicking the video below.

I hope you enjoyed the 100th. Leave a comment down below and let's talk. 

Share on social with all the people you know. To receive even more insights and exclusive content, subscribe to the weekly Newsletter.

As always, transformation starts from within.

Thank you for a wonderful year!

Alexandra

METAMORPHOSIS - ep. 8 - Create Your Reality. #30Letters from #yogacamp miniseries

Creation is a sensitive word for many reasons. Be it in an artistic or a religious way, the area of creativity and of making things with your own resources has encountered numerous views.

To create means to make something, to bring an idea into reality, through a certain shape. It means to give birth, to establish. We, ourselves are created by God via our parents.

When we are little, we create constantly. Our imagination and creativity are sparkling and abundant in new ideas, scenarios or things we want to manifest. What happens when we don’t have a certain item to make the game more real? We invent it, we create it out of mud, a stick or leaves.

The power to create is in our minds and hearts. And as we become adults, it is still there. We only just need to tap into that resource and we’ll be surprised at how our emotions, thoughts and even our daily lives eventually change.

Rediscover that sense of wonder. There’s a difference between hopeless daydreaming and making dreams a reality through actions and choices that help you get where you want.

Make use of what you have around in your life, of what ideas you have in your mind and of the emotions that you feel and want to feel. Channel negative emotions and use that energy to create something positive, something useful. An object, a meal, an entire lifestyle. You choose.

The mind is a powerful tool, as the heart is a sensitive one. It takes time to understand or change the way we feel. It takes intentional choices and actions.

The first step is to think at what you want to create for yourself: your own reality, your own state of mind, harmony, love, abundance?

Give thanks to God for whatever you already have and focus on creating a better life for yourself, in spite of all the hardships you may face. There’s always a bright side to life.

Thank you for being here! As always, transformation comes from within!

For the rest of the “METAMORPHOSIS” series, click here.

#30letters is a miniseries derived from the experience of being transformed by some of my choices, in this case yoga, a lesson about yourself and for yourself. #Yogacamp is a 30 day challenge created by the wonderful Adriene Mishler (@yogawithadriene) and shared for free on her YouTube Channel. Check it out here.

Sincerely,

Alex