Make The Right Choice for Your Broken Heart. Come and See! | SMart Choice Lifestyle

As I’m writing this, outside it’s freezing cold: -15 degrees C at just 11:30. Although if you just looked outside my window it will well be misleading, as the Sun is up and shining. But the frost is also biting! So, with that being said, we’re starting today’s article with me being all bundled up with my laptop sitting on my lap, inside my home-office.

A year ago, I gradually got the urge to look over my faith. I was born into a Christian Greek-Orthodox family, knew the general stuff, believed that God existed, but that was about it. This black book that my dad gifted me back in 2006, was staring at me from the shelf, and one day I picked it up. "Let's really see what these stories teach me!". But that was just the beginning. The best part of my life was yet to come.

I agree that life is a process and you need to come back to it over and over again. I know that things aren’t fixed and reality can change in the blink of an eye. Mine surely did on the day of my diagnosis! Most people choose a more spiritual life path when they’re faced with a crisis in their lives. When something happens to them, they need to cope and search for something outside of them that might help.

We’re all on a lookout for some kind of spiritual experience, something that will transcend us and hopefully transform us from the inside-out and get us out of this mindless living pattern. In today’s world, the ability to decide what type of spirituality we follow is made easy by the multitude of choices that are at our reach: meditation, mindfulness, yoga, retreats, and all that jazz. Our pick becomes part of our identity and for that needs to feel authentic to us. And although you might have heard me talk all about yoga, meditation and letting the energy flow, there came a point in my life when all that left me empty once again.

We live in a digital world, have all the social media networks, tons of friends and followers, all the things we can buy at our discretion, but we feel alone. Somehow not quite understood. The things we cherish most are those close bonds we get to have with the people we love.

Something is clearly missing from the picture and our lives can get pretty mechanical and without purpose. The gloomy picture I’m painting here has nothing to do with the nasty weather outside. It has more to do with that inside feeling we all have when nothing ever pleases us anymore.

Gathering material possessions won’t make us happy forever. The clutter we create by buying so much stuff is there to compensate for the lack, the void we feel within ourselves. Once we outgrow our passions, all that until yesterday we thought was exciting becomes today the most boring thing ever.

Little by little, we become robots, we imitate, we follow fashions, man-made role-models, watch TV shows, movies, go to concerts, go on vacations, to parties, to work, to a pub, to a birthday… And it’s exhausting. It damages both our bodies and our souls. The sad part is that not so many people are aware of this and most of them never do anything.

Most of us (especially in our 20’s and 30’s) are overwhelmed, our minds are racing and we have a gazillion things to do on our lists but nothing seems to make us truly happy or peaceful.

Through all this inner search, the only thing that was left standing were the prayers I learned when I was little and the need to somehow getting closer to God.

“As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

(Steve Jobs - Stanford Commencement Speech - 2005)

With the help of The Bible Project (@thebibleproject) reading plan and their digitally drawn video Bible stories, I dove deep. By December 24th 2016, I've finished reading it all, minus the so-called Apocryphal texts.

This year I'm continuing my journey by reading the entire Bible a second time, looking at how Jesus is being foreshadowed and God's love for us even when He punishes us. Also going in parallel with the Apocryphal chapters, for a 360 view on the topic.

The smartest choice I've made so far is to constantly search for Jesus in all there is around me. Being the curious person that I am, I even researched HIM in great detail. No regrets there! He is my daily companion in whatever I do, and definitely my biggest resource for all things personal or business.

Imagine having a best friend that will never leave or let you down, that will always tell the truth about who you are through your conscience and who although will sanction you for your mistakes, will always love you and care for you no matter what happens. Jesus is a personable God, one that you can establish a connection with. He never leaves us. We’re the ones who always leave Him. And that’s when all those bad things happen to us. All.The.Time!

Why search for inner peace in a form of energy or in a universal field, in a guided meditation? The world today is full of logical, scientific and factual data on spirituality, the power of the mind and so on. But brain anatomy and how to control brainwaves are a million miles away from our hearts. Faith speaks to the heart, but it only works if you choose to be humble and honestly admit your failures and mistakes.

I agree that each one of us has choices and free-will. Just come and see! Experience it for yourself. Make it intentional and explore. You first have to believe in order to have faith. Some connection needs to happen within you. Some distress, some suffering that knocks your world upside down and that nothing seems to heal you. Believe with all your heart and ask for help.

May you all have a wonderful year, guys! Let me know if you'd like to read more stories like this or are interested in details of my journey. God bless you, no matter your beliefs!

Until next time, have a wonderful day!

Denisa

ABOUT THAT SCARY PLACE INSIDE OUR MINDS - 8 TIPS FOR MENTAL HEALTH (#WorldMentalHealthDay) | SMart Choice Lifestyle

PROLOGUE

“I pirouette in the dark

I see the stars through a mirror

Tired mechanical heart

Beats 'til the song disappears

Somebody shine a light

I'm frozen by the fear in me

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me

So cut me from the line

Dizzy, spinning endlessly

Somebody make me feel alive

And shatter me”

(Lindsey Stirling featuring Lzzy Hale - Shatter Me)

AFTERMATH OF THE RAT-RACE

I oftentimes wake up at seven in the morning already feeling anxious or with my mind racing over my to-do list. It’s like I wake up starting the race, and then I go on through my day running, but the only running really goes on inside my head. And it’s exhausting!

We seem to not have time to just sit anymore. Simply stand still and let our minds relax and just be… just enjoy the moment. We are so wired to technology and to a responsive state, that we lose all of our connection to the outside world. And technology is just a bleep in this whole chaotic picture.

We are wired for connection. For feeling close to other people. Today’s society is disconnecting. Work is disconnecting. Technology is disconnecting. We have less and less time to spend with our own thoughts, in contact with what we feel, and thus we become more and more disconnected from ourselves.

Society is fast-forwarding us to progress and pushing us more and more over the edge.

Underneath a calm expression, there can exist tons and tons of emotional pain. Things that happened, things that hurt us, things that remained unresolved. Too often this anger becomes pointed towards ourselves, the only one responsible for the state we’re in is our own person.

We criticize, judge, and even physically tend to hurt ourselves in order to no longer feel those negative emotions. We no longer know how to deal with them. We become disconnected from the rituals the old society had.

Our brains process it all and sometimes they make mistakes. Given our chaotic lives, the brain strives to adapt, but overuse can lead to trouble.

WE ALL MISS SOMETHING IMPORTANT

It’s that feeling that something in our lives is missing. And in the search for it, we can get hurt. And with strained relationships and constant disconnection, there’s no one there to catch us if we fall. That’s what we miss. That’s what we always look for: relationships. Meaningful ones, to be understood, cared for, accepted and loved. Loved with all our faults, quirks and ideas. Loved for who we are and for whom we might become.

OUR MINDS HAVE BECOME A SCARY PLACE

But out there is nothing but shame. People only see the negative side, people are fearful of what they don’t know or don’t understand. They need to be told that mental health is just as important as physical health. If someone has a mental illness, things can get better.

There’s this stigma that sees mental illness as dangerous, but in fact is more self-harming than a threat to others. Outside anger might come from feeling misunderstood one times to many, from feeling alone and scared. Because our minds can become a scary place. An overwhelming, non-stop chatting, scary place.

We feel trapped inside a parallel reality, full of fears, shadows and pain. But the truth and the light are out there. We forget that we are more than our thoughts. The mind only fulfills its duty: thinking. When it overthinks, that’s when we need to press pause. Unplug from the hamster wheel that we call modern life and return to ourselves.

The answer we’re all looking for is not in our thoughts, not in our fears or anger. It’s hidden inside us. In fact, it’s not even hiding. It has been there all along, waiting for us to remember it. Do you know who you once were? Do you still remember the kid inside? It’s all there. Your reasons, motivations, dreams and hopes. Buried under years and years of neglect and stress.

SEARCH FOR THE KID INSIDE 

I see mental health issues as a signal from the kid we all have inside us. And it’s not pure fantasy. We all look for happiness and a life without concerns. We all want to be loved and want to pursue our dreams. We all love and want to be loved. We all feel hurt by people and we regret hurting others. That’s the kid talking to you.

Everytime you fight these issues, your youngest self is searching for giving and receiving love. Is looking for something to help it rediscover the world as it once saw it. That world is still there. We build modern society upon it.

STRENGTH THROUGH FAITH

The way I always find my way back is through letting go of the apparent control I we all think we have over what’s happening to and around us. I let go and accept the situation I find myself in. Then, I begin to search for lessons and solutions that are going to help me go through my emotional or physical pain better. For me, the guide that is always with me is Jesus Christ. More about my journey and lessons learned, HERE.

When I accept that I can’t control my situation, I take it as is, go through it and have patience to be transformed. Every experience that we have changes us in one way or another. I choose to take the lesson and be grateful that I have the opportunity to learn and grow. Even through suffering, pain and fear.  

LETTING GO OF EGO & BECOME HUMBLE

I used to despise being hurt, be it physically or emotionally. I hated feeling not enough and rejected by others. But then I realised that those things were the truth I had chosen to see. I was trapped into poisoning my own mind with helpless thoughts: “Why me? Why is this happening to me? Why don’t bad people develop multiple sclerosis?” and a whole bunch more.

It might be hard to digest, understand or accept, but suffering happens with a reason: to make us humble again. To clean our hearts and minds of all the negativity we have stored in them throughout. We are bombarded with being competitive, always on the run, always striving to become the best at our craft, always working… and never really being present.

BE PRESENT AND PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE

Life is fleeting. A moment is just a bleep on our screens. Life is much more than a rat race. Life is about living vulnerably, about accepting your challenges and understanding that you are not alone in this.

All over the world, there are people who have struggles that you know nothing about. Worse struggles, easier ones, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that counts is feeling grateful for what you have now, because somebody else might not even have that chance. Who am I to complain and rebel against life?

Anger never built anything. Negativity only destroys. Keep those inside your heart and they will certainly destroy you.

You suffer to become aware of your own self. Look at what you have, look at how you can do to help others. Accept yourself just the way you are and work to better the things that you feel could be better.

The choice is always yours to make. The outcome is not in your hands. Let go. God always knows what He’s doing.

8 STEPS THAT HELPED ME IMPROVE MY MENTAL HEALTH

#WorldMentalHealthDay 2016 (yes, it was yesterday)

1. Journal - one of the best ways to switch off that overthinking mind is to create space inside it. Write down all your concerns, fear, angsts and emotions. Once on paper, they will look more real and measurable. You can then analyze them and see that they’re not real. Look around you, life is beautiful even if it’s not perfect.
2. Help others - take time to be there for others that need you. Find a cause to help on, teach people how to deal with things you’ve already been through, help with the dishes, with a kind word, be there for someone and just listen to them, comfort them and make them understand that you’re there to comfort them.
3. Reach out to people and talk about your problems - remember the journaling at no. 1? It can be used to better understand your own thoughts and become able to tell them to others. Talk to people you trust and love, a psychologist, a priest, whatever choice you have. The thing is, talking about what you’re going through leads to being understood and finding a solution to your inner struggle.
4. Reconnect to yourself - let go of always being in charge. Take time to enjoy the things you’ve already achieved, sit and have a chat with your own self. Sit still and simply begin to enjoy your presence, without anything attached to it. Listen to your favorite music, read the Bible, become aware of how it feels to live inside your body. Yet again journaling is helpful. Write these feelings and thoughts down. Let them go on paper.
5. Sleep more - the relative amount of sleep needed by an adult is between 8-9 hours / night. Make the choice of going to bed in time to be able to sleep that much before you wake up. During sleep, the brain cleans out toxins created throughout the day, while thinking, feeling and taking care of all the operations that your body did.
6. Eat better - good nutrients feed the body and help rise the levels of energy. Foods like vegetables, fruit, pickled vegetables, rice, fish and lean meats, nuts and seeds are proven to make the body stronger and healthier if consumed regularly, as part of a lifestyle choice.
7. Move your body - we have mobile joints, because we were made to move, not sit on the couch all day long. It can be comfortable, especially when holding a heavy tablet or while keeping one’s eyes on Facebook and Instagram all day. But the body needs to move its muscles. Exercise gets rid of pain, stiffness, makes you more alert and even more happy, through the release of endorphins, hormones that make you feel good.
8. Be grateful for what you have and let go of control - look at what you do have, realistically. All hardship and trauma can be overcomed. All past negative things are now gone and you are still standing. You did good! Keep on being strong and learn from your experiences. Feel the gratitude; why are certain things important to you? Remember that things don’t always go the way we plan them and that’s OK. The things that we can act upon is our choices. Choose life, choose to become wiser.

Every human is important and worthy. The main thing is that you are not alone. Most people feel the same way, but few speak up. We all have the need to heal our mental health, because the world we live in needs healing. One human at a time.

Accept to be shattered. Life needs a little chaos before it smoothes out things again. It’s the only way we grow. We have both positive and negative emotions. They’re part of us.

Liked this post? Let me know if you’d want me to write a more extensive piece on this topic, or on smaller topics from it. Would love to hear your opinion on this! Leave your comments down below.

Sincerely,

Denisa

How to Continue Living with Ease after Trauma | SMart Choice Lifestyle

There's this moment right after the diagnosis, when you are in need of answers. You want to know what's happening and most of all, you want to know how to make things better. 

WHERE TO START?

"Is there a possibility to continue living even after receiving a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis? Can I resume my goals and dreams and live the life I want, even faced with the unpredictability of relapses and possible disability? Is there anyone out there who has been through this and can give me some advice?"

These were most of the questions that went through my mind as I was beginning my research on all things Multiple Sclerosis. As a newly diagnosed 28 year old in the summer of 2014, I was angry. Upset at life for throwing this at my face, when I hadn't even began to live the way I wanted. I felt alone, as nobody was able to tell me more than some small details about how to handle this. Nothing about prevention methods, how to deal with all the emotional baggage. I felt really alone.

One thing I knew for sure: I was willing to fight this and get my life back the way I wanted. Life was going to be on my terms, and nothing was going to stop me. I am going to help at least one person not feel as alone as I did when first faced with Multiple Sclerosis.

LIFE HAPPENS

Then anxiety and rage came laughing at my face. They made me more irascible and snappy. But I still held on to dear life. "I am the boss here, I have the rules,  I know best. I, I , I... !! " This was just the fear of losing all that I knew I was. Fear of losing myself in the process. And as all people in distress do, I began looking for support outside of myself. I looked for something to soothe my inner soul, the one that was shaking like a leaf in the face of uncertainty. 

WALKING THROUGH THICK FOG

Who was I losing? Who was I really? How can I cope with all of this? What's the worse that can happen? I immersed myself in studying all that I could, ranging from brain anatomy, healthy living, psychology, introspection, journaling,  blood test markers, treatments and exercise. 

Yeah! Exercise seemed very interesting, as MS is known to go after one's mobility. But I wasn't allowed to get my body to heated. What could I do in order to move but not force too much? YOGA! Such a good idea!

And Yoga was a great idea for more than a year. As I learned the poses, breathing and routines, I also began to discover how my body worked. Little by little, I found out how my mind worked. It all went together. At the same time, my spirit was turning even more so to God. 

For a long time, I had an eclectic spiritual philosophy going on, one made out of Christian belief, universal energy and accepting the flow of things and connecting to the higher power through prayer and letting go of my Ego (the "I, I, I, I!!" part of my mind that kept being afraid and angry).

ACHIEVING CLARITY

As I got closer and closer to God, I decided to read the whole Bible for the first time in my life. And from January this year, there was no turning back. I slowly let go of Yoga, as my focus shifted. I have always been a faithful person. Being raised in a Christian Orthodox family that was very open to religion, that encouraged learning about Jesus and the stories of the Bible, I grew in perfect acceptance of a higher power and in fascination with the story of Jesus of Nazareth. 

Little did I know back then that this seed was going to prove to be my salvation. The thing that will help me out of the crash and burn of my Ego and internal fears and demons. To keep it short for this article: LOVE is the ongoing message of Christianity, the silver lining that goes through all of us and is at the bottom of all joy and inner peace. When you understand this, it all becomes crystal clear: the so called fear of God is in fact the love we have for Him. All love implies respect and obedience. We strive to please the ones we love. It's that simple!

This is my perspective on things, as I was born and raised a Christian. But whatever your belief, this still applies: LOVE is transcending all creation, it's the unifying energy.

CLARITY PUT TO WORK

But first, I had to become humble. To understand that if I had been given this burden was because I needed to learn a lesson: to love myself more, to love and give others more, to do what I love, to be more compassionate and kind to others. 

There really is power in suffering and what it brings out. God doesn't play around. He gave me a harsh wake up call, a personal trauma to wake me up to the purpose we all need to have: love one another! Get my head out of my own... and start living in harmony with the people around me and with my own self. Multiple Sclerosis was the most personal lesson I had to learn. I had other lessons but failed to go deeper and become aware of their teachings. I wrote more about them and why following your heart is crucial, HERE.

Nowadays, I live my life with the knowledge that my life has a purpose. I know that all fear fades away in the face of God. I know that the only one that truly understands and accepts me is Jesus, and the kind of relationship we have with Him will mirror the way we treat ourselves and the people around us. 

I know that when I surrender my Ego and accept my faults, when I am humbled by my mistakes, I grow, I become the best version of me possible. It's my personal choice. I continue reading the Bible every morning. It's part of my routine, along with breakfast and my daily Copaxone injection.

HOW CAN ALL THIS HELP YOU?

Simple! Here are three things you could do starting today, that will bring you closer to living with ease after going through a traumatic experience. Little by little, the pain will subside and you will continue living.

1. Allow yourself to go through the emotional pain

We are made to feel both happy and negative emotions. When we're happy, we accept that wholeheartedly. The same needs to happen with suffering. We need to feel that pain in order to get passed it. Otherwise, it gets repressed, we numb or ignore it and then the damage is longer and harder. Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, afraid and all that. 

2. Daily journaling 

A practice that will benefit you in many ways than one. You could say that when you suffer, you don't feel like writing, you don't have the energy. A journal is the most important tool you'll ever have.

It allows you to brain-dump all your suffering without complaining that you whine to much or you should stop. It only asks the questions you write. It allows you to objectify your thoughts and feelings. As you write them down, you become aware of them and the rational part of your brain kicks in and analyzes them. Maybe not at that moment, but on the long run, you'll see. It's the perfect tool for self-awareness and getting in touch with who you are deep inside.

3. Give more of yourself to others

Make helping others your goal. Look for opportunities to help your family and friends with whatever they might need. If you're going through something traumatic, they're probably affected to. Helping them would be just simply sit down and hear them out, listen to what they have to say. Let them pour their heart out. Be their journal! 

Move outside your close circle: look for causes that you can join, or start your own. That's how SMart Choice Lifestyle began: I wanted to help others make the best decisions for their life, even if they were going through hard times. And that's still my goal. It's the reason you're reading this article.

Liked this post? Subscribe HERE, to be sure we stay connected. Let me know if you’d want me to write a more extensive piece on this topic, or on smaller topics from it. Would love to hear your opinion on this! Leave your comments down below.

P.S. Listening to Chopin proves to be amazing for my focus when writing :)) What's your concentration trick (if you have one)?

Sincerely,

Denisa

Why You Need to Follow Your Heart. Time Waits for No One

As I'm sitting here with my late-time cuppa, cloudy weather and writing in English, my inner reality couldn't be more different than what's really happening outside this room. But that's what dreamers and idealists do. Or at least that's what I have been told.

I always loved escaping into words and daydream. When I was a kid, it was all productive and such, as it was my job to have an imagination an develop interesting worlds and stories. The worlds I was constructing had strong visuals and fierce heroes. But that was back to the time of dinosaurs. Kids today are technology-bound, well adapted to a world of gadgets and science.

But what about one's soul? What about one' purpose?

My generation lived mostly in its head and thoughts. This generation lives more in its social media pages or apps. Things change and there's nothing wrong with that! It would be pretty hypocritical of me to criticize tech, as I'm writing this from a wireless-connected laptop, as I just finished a mini-browsing of my Facebook and Instagram.

All that I'm saying here is that we need a return to ourselves, to our inner beings, to our hearts. We are so connected, so informed, so skilled, so prepared nowadays, that we forget to stand still and often find ourselves on autopilot. Mostly like a machine.

It all comes back to the soul. To the heart. To the purpose.

For the past 7 years, my life has been like the one of a hamster on a treadmill. That's the typical image of a 30-something in this century. I was doing all of what society and peers were expecting of me, yet I wasn't fulfilled. "Things can't always be perfect!" I kept telling myself in order to soothe that restlessness I had inside. Over and over again.

Numbing life with life and getting smacked down by life.

Ironically enough, our minds are not the masters of the lives we have. We might... think we have control over what's happening, but if we don't take conscious choices, if we don't stand up and fight for what we believe in, it all happens to us. And then it leaves us with a lesson to learn and a question to answer: "Will you follow your heart?".

Again and again, life decided to give me some "subtle" pokes. 

As a storyteller, I dreamed of becoming a movie director, to be able to tell stories through image, sound and words. Life happened. Peer pressure made me give up because "There's too much competition! You'll lose precious time! Take the safe path!". Ended up studying Sociology for four years instead. 

Yeah! Like this proved to be the "safe path". Either way, it was my choice.

Finished Uni, got admitted to a Master's programe, got my first job as a Life Insurance Consultant (the irony of selling life protection when mine was going to be tumbled down!). 

Life happened. My mother got breast cancer

That marked my first meeting with chronic disease and full-on regret. Feeling sorry for all that I made wrong, for all that I should have or shouldn't have said made me realize that we always have a choice to how we act. We always have a choice to do or not to do something. I chose to be strong for her and look for stability. I wasn't living for myself. I was now living for her. 

So I changed jobs to a place that in other conditions I never would have looked at. 

But I ended staying there for two and a half years. I learned how mean and double-faced human nature can be, and how damaging stress can be. Looking back, this experience also taught me to be humble and serve others, despite of their behavior. I was beginning to learn life. 

At the end of those years, I chose me above all else, and quit. The pressure on my emotions was too big and wanted to brake free. I give my praise to God that my mother recovered and is still a part of my life. It made me begin to lose Ego.

Got another job in sales and vehicle management coordination, and felt at ease. I was beginning to get back to myself bit by bit. But after only seven months, and having the past experience of feeling trapped in a place I didn't belong, I chose to leave and pursue my own thing (once more) in graphic design. 

I had just finished a beginner's course and was preparing for my final exams, Steve Jobs just died and made me become aware of my own limited time. I compulsively watched his Stanford 2005 Commencement Speech until it became engraved inside my mind. 

Although it was a normal consequence of life, death still scared me and put some anxiety all over my actions. Do things now!

So I did! Got the best results at the Graphic Design exam, and went into planning mode to pursue my dream. The focus was mostly on myself and on what I would achieve.

In came life again. Because, you know, shit happens! My grandma died

At the beginning of that year, the woman who was one of the pillars of my personality and the one that I drew much of my inspiration from was gone. Leaving me with an inflamed Ego and a big regret that I wasn't more time there for her.

Time doesn't wait for anyone. Life goes on even without your input. I needed to choose once again. I thought of her, and what would she want me to do. 

I just started a Photography course, as it was the closer that I could get to telling visual stories. Given the death of a close family member, many would have stayed at home for some days, grieve and then go back to their activities. But I chose to be strong once more and go to my course. 

So, that night I stayed at her wake, went to sleep at 7 am, rested for 4-5 hours, and then went to class. Nobody knew, nobody saw anything on my face. I kept it to myself. Once more, I chose to be strong for my family and do the right thing. There's a whole other story about this experience, but I'm not going to cover this now, maybe in a later post.

All these experiences were bringing me back to God

I always been like this. I grew up an Ortodox-Christian, not actually a church-goer, but passionate about all those stories in the Bible and God's goodness and protection. In my deepest despair, He is the one I turn to, He is the one my soul needs. Nothing else. Even if I do it unconscious, when I get afraid, I pray.

That year I prayed to be happy. I let my soul in His hands and prayed for it to be soothed. 

And it was. That fall I began a relationship with my best friend, a guy I've met at my Graphic Design course and that quickly became my go-to person. He is similar to me in so many ways (good and bad), that I really couldn't have asked for a better match. I wouldn't had known what to ask for! Our relationship grew stronger as months went by. We had our ups and downs, but it was all fine in the end. 

Life resumed its course. I got a job as a Shop Manager for a telecom retail company, got passed some of my limits, learned a lot about me and people once again. But something felt off again. Stress was much higher than my inner feeling of fulfillment. It ended up putting great strain on me, and I came to work only to wait anxiously to get back home to my plans, peace and quiet. So I left. It didn't feel right. 

As I felt myself calming down, I began to see things clearly and once more planned starting my own thing. 

Guess what?! Once more it didn't happen right!

I planned to get a job in order to raise money to start my own photography business. Found a job in sales, advertising space and client relationship. All good, all stressful as always, but it was comfortable. Somehow, my dream got postponed, as I never felt quite ready. I was scared shitless, to be honest!

Life grew bored with my behavior and decided to give me one more "poke". Into my right eye. On a Friday.

The time when it happened was just right, as I once more grew to comfortable into being pushed and pulled by life and not listening to my intuition. Whenever that happened, fear took command and made me settle, going totally against my dreams of always going for what it feels right.

I told the story of my multiple sclerosis diagnosis here. The thing that I would like to add to it is that as I write this story, I understand that our lives are empty without doing something with purpose, without really using the gifts we have been given. 

I have always loved to write and tell stories. I was always able to leave myself aside in times of great distress and turn to helping others.

Now you tell me. What do you choose: a life that happens to you, or one designed by choice? 

Because things will always happen, go well, go bad, get stuck, or anything else. But what really matters is what you do with the cards that you have been dealt, and how you use them to serve others? 

For me, that's what life is all about: smart choices. God knows what He's doing. Always!

Liked this post? Subscribe HERE, to be sure we stay connected. Let me know if you’d want me to write a more extensive piece on this topic, or on smaller topics from it. Would love to hear your opinion on this! Leave your comments down below.

Sincerely yours,

Denisa