Reasons Why Fear Makes us Aggressive Because of Multiple Sclerosis & Why We Must Fight Social Injustice

All human beigns feel fear at one point or another durng their lifetime. But so do other mammals and creatures on this Earth. Even plants do it. So why do we sometimes think we have the right to be aggressive only because we are afraid and frustrated with our MS or with situations that correlate at some point with this condition?

In Romania, there is a strange case of social injustice that happens right before our eyes. Each year, there is a Government budget being decided for each of the ministries administration needs. Healthcare is underfunded for all that it needs to do and take care of, including the National MS Treatment Programme, which enrolls MS patients on lists, in order to receive (or wait for) the treatment they need.

Given this situation, many sufferers are left behind and without treatment for many years to come, only making their condition worse, depending on the state they are on or on the evolution of their MS. This situation has numerous ripple effects, from the person’s own health, to the national GDP (PIB in some countries) and society’s efficiency at large.

It’s pretty simple actually: many people get diagnosed with MS between ages 20 and 40, that period of time when one is supposed to be at the most active stage of life, when you get on top of your career, when you start a familiy and basically just when you are at your most productive, and paying the most social contributions to the state. 

And all of a sudden, because you are not given treatment, you risk not being able to work because of your growing dissabilities. You are no longer able to contribute to the national GDP. In the situation you get worse, you’ll need a caregiver, person which will also need to be payed by the state to take care of you.

Instead of focusing on keeping people functional as much as possible, they put people on lists and in the long run end up paying even more money to and for them, resulting in less money to go around next time, and so the problem goes deeper and becomes worse. Exponnentially worse.

The point where I was headed with this article is that in this context, fear causes even more trouble than just physical dissability. It destroys emotional and psychological wellbeing. It trashes mental welbeing not only of the person that has MS and no acces to treatment, but of the people around them as well: family, friends, life partner, etc. The emotional wellbeing of a person diagnosed with MS is very delicate. I have written about it before and I will write about it again.

These people enter a downward spiral that puts them on a very powerful deffensive, and they become aggresive to anyone who can be blamed for their tragic situation. Knowing the corruption that still exists in this country, they get to think that all the people who do receive treatment are bribing for their meds, surpassing everyone who has been waiting for many years.

Given the eligibility criteria in MS, and trusting in the competence of the medical specialists that are taking care of this illness, I can’t help but wonder what’s happening here? Why aren’t these people receiving their rightfull treatments? Is it dependent on country area, on neurologist, on MRI’s or on what? I accept that there are cases of people who are influent enough to pay extra to get in front, but that’s not a general rule.

This year I’ve once again saw what extreme frustration and fear can do to people in this situation. They just want to live a normal life for as long as they can, and they are being refused this simple human right. 

Here at SMart Choice Lifestyle, we’re going to start doing something for these people even sooner than we planned. We will investigate the right ways and strategies on how to do it. We already have some ideas in mind and were planning to act on them later this year. But this has got to start sooner.

In due time, making sure that we have a strong strategy in place, we’ll get there. You know what they say: “Rome wasn’t built in a day!”. We are aware that MS is a condition that does not get well with time, but we take that risk in orded to do things right.

Thank you for your understanding and please share this article so that many more people get to know how things are here in Romania for some people living with MS.

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This was a collective article, to let you know that we hear you. As fellow MS patients, we understand what you are going through and plan to make a change. Stick with us, have faith and let us know if you want to help.

Thank you for your understanding!

Wishing you the best health,

Alexandra & the SMart Choice Lifestyle team

How To Deal With Anger Without Damaging Your Relationships? (+ DOWNLOADABLE FREEBIE PDF JOURNAL) - #LifestyleFriday

When was the last time you were angry? Do you remember why? What made you boil up inside? Was it annoyance? Anxiety? Fear? Was there a mix? Who did you backlash at? What were the consequences? To all these questions I’m going to shed a little light so that we can all start the weekend more peacefully and a bit more calm.

Like all human emotions, anger has been explained on and off by psychologists and regular people alike. Today we’re going to treat it like a result to a perceived threat, as a result of the fight-or-flight response, the mechanism that helps our survival for millenia.

When we are facing some type of danger, our brains have two possible choices: to help us stand and fight or make us run for our lives. Dealing with multiple sclerosis, this gets a bit tricky, and in some cases even impossible. We have to put up with an illness we have no control over, with a danger that we can’t escape from.

Enter frustration. This one is a natural response to the lack of options we have in order to deal with our anger. Therefore, everything begins to anger us: not having a cure, being surprised by a nasty symptom, having a relapse, losing some of our abilities, and so on. We become more sensitive to external stimuli. Who wasn’t annoyed by the simple: “it’s all in your head!”?

The biggest and most widespread human fear is that of the unknown. Life by itself is unpredictable and a stress bringer now and then. But humans adapt. Multiple sclerosis only adds to this uncertainties, making our lives even more stressful. We are all diferent and so are our coping mechanisms, but there will always be a time to snap / vent / melt, call it as you will.

A moment in time when all the uncertainty, fear and expectations get to us and we become Mr. Hyde.

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, Hyde is a novel character, in the book “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” by …. It is basically the dark side of each of us, the “monster” that lies within, our deepest and most secret impulses, primal violence and such. When I say that we become Mr. Hyde, I’m describing how we can literally transform from the most kind person to a raging ball of fire, that snaps at people, causing only pain and resentment. 

This is one of the main causes of why people around us get distant, and sometimes leave. Relationships get tared, bonds get cracked. They’re already scared, our anger only adds up to their feeling helpless and more frustrated. Not a happy place to live in. Could you bear this forever? Think about it!

What I’ve learned so far, having my own large dose of being angry, is that you need to deal with it. I went deep within myself and analysed the reasons for getting so angry. Clearly it was an over-the-top reaction, that in other conditions wouldn’t have happened. For me, daily journaling helped put things into perspective. 

We all thing the reasons why we’re angry are so legitimate, others so ignorant and we ourselves so missunderstood. Wrong! In most cases, we overreact. I know I did! When I began accepting it, things gradually got better. Time helps you to better understand your triggers and to catch yourself before you snap. Or help you to snap less, to be honest! 

We all have good days and bad days, we all have ego colisions with other people. MSers tend to become a bit more sensitive that other people. We develop a type of vulnerability that not many people can understand fully.

I chose to transform this vulnerability into something positive. It’s damn hard! It takes a lot of focus and dedication. But when you do it daily, you CAN transform anger into love. Agression into compassion. Frustration into gratefulness. I experience those two opposing forces on a regular basis. 

Of course it’s easier to snap, yell and take some steam off. But is it really worth the effort? Is it really worth the damage? You get dear ones angry, you become stressed, the whole thing could turn into a full blown conflict and for what? For multiple sclerosis? REALLY?

Accept your anger. Let it go and search for the love within. Find reasons to be grateful and happy for your life. Focus on what you can do and do more of that. Capitalize on your strenghts.

There are millions of people who go through the same issues as you do. Of course we are all different, but in the end we all have multiple sclerosis roaming around in our brains. The true secret is the way we choose to react to what’s happening to us. The way we let it get to us. Or not. Accept, adapt and overcome.

I prepared a printable journal to use as a tool for getting to know your triggers and focus on what is good in your life. Download it by clicking this link Accept.Adapt.OvercomeJournal

Let me know your story with anger in the comments below. Subscribe for more articles!

Lots of love,

Alexandra