World MS Day 2016: Independence is about... CHOICES #strongerthanMS

Writing about choices is basically my “bread-and-butter” on this blog. Everything we are or do boils down to choosing the way we act. Today is MS Day and the theme for 2016 is Independence. I’ve written about choice before, HERE, HERE and HERE.

Me and independence go way back. Since I can remember, I have always been that fiercely independent kid, that although needed protection and care like any other, also had a mind of its own. As I grew up, sometimes the social peer pressure to conform was acting strong. I mostly kept my own points of view and tried to make my own choices. At the same time I made sure that nobody got offended.

Here is where I made the mistake. Other people will always have something to say. No matter what or how you do it, they will always have an opinion. Guess what? That’s their own independence and ability to choose acting up. People might get upset or hurt because of your choices, but as long as you act from your best intentions, it will all be OK in the end.

Experience made me understand that the best outcomes are those in which we feel like our truest selves, without minding what others might say. As we grow older, social pressure to conform to what the majority or the authority thinks gets excruciating.

We become afraid that if we don’t mold ourselves to those patterns, we’ll become outcasts, excluded from society. Conformity is most of the times driven by fear and by what we can lose when we rebel.

The funny fact is that we all have nothing to lose. We all die in the end. We don’t take nothing with us. Of course there is also pain, sadness, loss, worry, compassion and all that. But nothing lasts forever. Our world is constantly changing. We change.

That’s the only constant we have: change. Our greatest ability is then adaptation, the capacity to adjust and readjust to the ever changing conditions life puts us through. 

We all get to choose how we react to what’s happening to us. That’s what I understand as independence.

Being given a diagnosis of having an incurable chronic illness, puts things into perspective. At least for me it definitely did that. It made me think about my fears, my loves and my angst. Interesting journey, by the way!

It’s fascinating what you can find when you dig deep within yourself. When you take time to, little by little, analyze old wounds and ask yourself why did that happen and why did it matter that much? When you realize that all that you’ve been searching for all along, things like acceptance, control, calm and most importantly, love… have all been inside you all along.

When you understand that it’s all right to not be in control all the time, that there are higher forces at stake and your best ability is to adapt, accept and overcome the crisis you may go through.

You get to a point where you no longer regret the past and fear the future. You become at peace and begin to make change happen for others. Because you realise that we all have limited time and our mission is to make it count.

I might as well read all the books in the world, I’ll not go with all the knowledge to the grave with me. Then what’s the point in learning and knowing things? Teaching others, leaving a legacy and growing others through what you accumulate. Pay it forward. Be kind.

At the end of the day, we all get to choose who we become, given our specific contexts and opportunities. It’s that simple.

So, that’s what independence is for me.

MS doesn’t stop me from… choosing to adapt & pay it forward. #strongerthanMS

Happy MS Day! Or better said: Be happy to overcome MS each day ;)

Yours truly,

Denisa

World MS Day 2016: Independence is about... COURAGE #strongerthanMS

Fear is our natural survival mechanism. We react to danger by getting afraid and alert. We get into what’s called the fight-or-flight response, an automated reaction that makes us to either stand up and fight or run and hide. Both reactions are meant to help us survive. There is also a third element: freezing, inaction.

MS turns on all these three at different stages and with different intensities. Depending on your personality, after the diagnosis, you might either get angry and want to fight it (my case), enter denial and go on with your normal life or simply get into shock and think you’re life is over. These initial reactions change, they take turns and make us go through a continuum of emotions, ranging from angst, anger, frustration, up until sadness, grief and depression.

The key here is acceptance. I know it’s not easy to come to terms with MS and some may never will 100%. The moment you accept that this is reality and you can’t hide from it, courage comes back again. We still have fear, and depending on how our MS is, we might be struggling with relapses or their aftereffects. We then need to once more accept, adapt to our current situation and see what good can we take out of it. There’s always a good side to things.

Find ways to manage your MS. Once more, I insist on on having systems in place: what to do in case of a relapse, what to do with “x” symptom, and so on. Have “exit plans” from every difficult situation you can think of. Most of all, have patience and faith that it will pass.

Fear is always going to be there. It tries to protect you. Acknowledge it and move on. Breathe deeply, cry, get angry if you need to, and then get back to living your best lifestyle. Having courage enables you to face difficulty, danger and pain with less to no fear. Be strong.

MS doesn’t stop me... from standing facing difficulty with a brave heart #strongerthanMS

The rest of May is enough time to go deeper into what it takes to become independent: body, mind and spirit. To become the architect of your wished lifestyle. To become #strongerthanMS.

Until then, I thank you for being here. Liked this post? Share it with friends. Want to receive more articles like this right into your inbox? Add your email to the SMart Choosers list HERE. You’ll receive every new article and a monthly Newsletter of wonderful resources and insight, to help you make the smart choices that best fit your lifestyle.

Sincerely yours,

Alex

World MS Day 2016: Independence is about... BALANCE #strongerthanMS

Do you know those jugglers who handle so many objects that you can’t even see most of them when they’re being tossed into the air? Likewise, we tend to take on too many activities, tasks, emotions at a time, risking that some might fall and hit us right on the head, making us go off balance. The juggler can’t sway too much on only one side, or it will make him lose sight of the objects on the other hand. Likewise, when we spend too much time doing certain things and we neglect others, we might stumble and fall. Not fall literally, just lose our focus, and need to repair the damage done.

But what is in fact this balance? It is defined as a state of equilibrium, a mental steadiness or emotional stability. It is the habit of having a calm behavior or judgement.

Multiple sclerosis is an internal imbalance between two major systems in the body: the nervous and the immune system. Balancing body, mind and spirit is essential. As humans, we tend to stop only when we feel something’s wrong. By that time, our bodies might be so out of tune that rest and care become mandatory to ensure our recovery or even survival.

Not all of us go through such hard times, but even if we do, they don’t last forever. The trick is to become mindful of the choices we make on a daily basis. This is learned with time, through constant practice. Everyday, begin noticing and adjusting the amount of food, movement and rest (sleep) that you have or do. In time, you’ll develop the ability of “hearing” what your body tells you, or asks you to give it. You’ll feel it when it happens: a hunger or a feeling full (not stuffed) sensation, the need to stretch even if you can’t get up in some cases (the body craves movement), a yawn when you need sleep. After repeating behaviors over and over, the brain learns a habit by creating new neural connections for that activity or thought. Trust me, you’ll know.

I like what Arianna Huffington says in an interview with Chase Jarvis, referring to the comparison between our phone’s burnout and ours. Nowadays, we take more care of our smartphones; constantly checking the battery level and making sure it will never get into any kind of trouble, otherwise it will malfunction, or the battery will die.

Basically what I’m telling you here goes back to common sense: eat moderately and healthy, move the body to get the blood flowing and oxygenized and go to sleep to recharge and lessen those fatigue outbursts that we as MSers tend to have. Juggle the essential tasks and discard the rest. Batch the similar ones. Simplify, create systems and routines that make it all easier for you.

Balancing what’s important to our bodies and minds will help us live a more healthy and independent lifestyle, given our current conditions. Last but not least, it’s about emotional balance too. Bad thoughts will come, we’ll get scared by a nasty symptom or relapse, but life goes on, and all is transitory. Worrying is useless. We need to accept what’s happening, find ways to adapt and overcome our situation.

The mind and body are connected. One influences the other. For example, the mind could go on rambling over and over. If the body feels tired, that’s the signal telling us to rest. Finish whatever we’re doing (or pause it) and rest. We’re not machines, but human beings. We need balance.

MS doesn’t stop me… from being a balanced person. #strongerthanMS

The rest of May is enough time to go deeper into what it takes to become independent: body, mind and spirit. To become the architect of your wished lifestyle. To become #strongerthanMS.

Until then, I thank you for being here. Liked this post? Share it with friends. Want to receive more articles like this right into your inbox? Add your email to the SMart Choosers list HERE. You’ll receive every new article and a monthly Newsletter of wonderful resources and insight, to help you make the smart choices that best fit your lifestyle.

Sincerely yours,

Alex

World MS Day 2016: Independence is about... GRATITUDE #strongerthanMS

We spend our lives mostly just reacting to what’s going on around us. The world happens to us and we get swayed around by it, thinking that we have control. The essential thing that we really need to be on top of is never found on the outside, but lays deep down inside our hearts and minds. Our first reactions are always emotional ones. After a few seconds, the mind kicks in, trying to make some sense of what has happened.

Emotions are crucial for body and mental health. They generate all kind of internal reactions, ranging from pleasant to damaging ones, things that either help or hurt us. The more we have the one or the other, the more we change either for the better or for the worse. I’ve written HERE about how a repetitive reaction can generate a pattern that in turn will shape our lives.

We tend to spend a large amount of time complaining. Let me give you a few random examples to somewhat illustrate my point: difficult situations, illness, low paychecks and even rain sometimes. From here, it all seems to go downhill.

But what happens when we’re happy about something? How does that transform our day?

The way we react to what’s happening defines how our lives will eventually become. Good or bad, happy or sad… it’s our choice how we interpret what happens to us. Transformation always happens from within. Choose to be grateful for every little thing that’s happened to you. Find light even in the darkest corners.

I choose to be grateful even for my tough times, even for my MS. I’m the kind of person that keeps on smiling even after I’ve cried my eyes of in fear and anger. I bounce back somehow. I’m still searching for the way I do this. All I can say right now is that I know I’m not the only one who can do this. Each individual has his/her own mechanisms and systems in place.

That’s why I’m sharing stories of my life with MS. To let you know that you’re not alone. That it has ups and downs, basically a rollercoaster ride. That’s why I’m reading all kind of MS stories: I get inspired and humbled to keep going forward, to be grateful for what I have and to have the insight to be able to help others.

Gratitude creates a ripple effect that in turn helps you go smoother even through the hardest times. You learn, you grow, you keep faith and hope it will turn out OK. Grateful for being alive.

MS doesn’t stop me… from seeing the good in life. #strongerthanMS

The rest of May is enough time to go deeper into what it takes to become independent: body, mind and spirit. To become the architect of your wished lifestyle. To become #strongerthanMS.

Until then, I thank you for being here. Liked this post? Share it with friends. Want to receive more articles like this right into your inbox? Add your email to the SMart Choosers list HERE. You’ll receive every new article and a monthly Newsletter of wonderful resources and insight, to help you make the smart choices that best fit your lifestyle.

Sincerely yours,

Alex

World MS Day 2016: Introduction to Independence #strongerthanMS

26 th of May marks 2016 World MS Day. Each year, throughout the month, all involved and affected by multiple sclerosis stand up and raise awareness through telling stories, fundraising and telling the world about this disease. This year’s theme is “independence”: living your life in spite of what MS might bring.

For the following weeks, I’ll share my view of living an independent life with multiple sclerosis, seen through the SMart Choice Lifestyle lens: how making informed choices that suit your personal conditions help you live a more healthy and independent lifestyle.

Independence is something you have to work for, even if it’s just a state of mind at first. Especially when you need to achieve a clear state of mind. Throughout the day, you have hundreds if not thousands of thoughts circling around in the brain. Most of them are only noise. They don’t bring you any value whatsoever, just constant inner-talk, most of the time criticizing and longing for a brake, a vacation or a hug.

You are a slave of your emotions, cravings, thoughts, pains, etc. To raise above all that you have to make up your mind and choose for your future self. What do you wish for? How do you want to live? How do you want to look? What do you want to achieve? It’s all connected to the mental processes that keeps you stuck.

Choosing once is not enough. Life is basically a process, a rollercoaster. Things are not fixed, they flow, they change. That’s why you need to learn to ride the wave while staying true to your main focus. Having “goals” sounds a bit harsh, artificial almost. Instead of goals, have wishes.

Having an external system in place to hold you accountable is great, but what happens if the system disappears for whatever reason? You end up suspended into thin air, and so will your wishes and plans.

The best way you can make sure you stay accountable for an indefinite amount of time is to find that system inside yourself. You are the only one responsible for your reactions, actions and results. There is only so much others around can help you with, but if you’re not willing to help yourself, it’s all done in vain.

Nothing in life comes easy or without a struggle, that’s the truth. I could sugar-coat it all you want, but it will not do you any good. The best way to get anything done and make wishes come true in life is to become accountable to your own future self.

Do the work. Design your outcome. Do whatever you can given your current circumstances. Adapt to what’s around you and to what your body can do. Start small but be consistent. Become an architect, not just a mason of your lifestyle. What do I mean by that? As an architect, you design your lifestyle structure, plan for the future and build accordingly. As a mason, you only work for today, not paying so much attention at how the pieces fit the puzzle.

We are all masons, but we need to become designers of our own future.

Patience, persistence and work are your new best friends. As the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. Neither will your life. Think of it as a marathon, as an endurance race. It needs constant effort (yes, effort, I’m not gonna lie to you), but smartly dosed.

Have balance and go slow at first, little changes, little works and grow from there. Any overworking puts you at risk to giving up and settling for the mason mentality, which eventually can make you the victim of your own choices.

We are what we choose. Make informed, trained, balance-paced choices that fit into your larger lifestyle design. You really are your own best friend and your greatest help in time of need. Your conscience and heart are the direct links to God and your actions need to reflect the good parts of your personality.

Oh, there’s so much more that I want to tell you about this topic, but for now I’ll leave it here. The rest of May is enough time to go deeper into what it takes to become independent body, mind and spirit. To become the architect of your wished lifestyle. To become #strongerthanMS.

Until then, I thank you for being here. Liked this post? Share it with friends. Want to receive more articles like this right into your inbox? Add your email to the SMart Choosers list HERE. You’ll receive every new article and a monthly Newsletter of wonderful resources and insight, to help you make the smart choices that best fit your lifestyle.

Sincerely yours,

Alex