Why Do You Need to Embrace Change? A Letter to Young MSers

I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again: our entire life is made out of choices. The fact that you’re reading this post is a choice you’ve made. Everyday, we make dozens of decisions, selections. We choose, choose, choose.

With each one, our life changes. For most of the times, we decide to do or not to do something because of the impact it might have on our future. Outcome matters the most in choice. Change is the only certainty we have. The smartest choice in this case is to adapt to our present life. Accept it and embrace change with all that it has to offer.

In MS, our bodies can go through rapid transformations. We are OK now and can be unwell tomorrow. The degree of uncertainty is high and we all had to deal with it at certain points. Wanting to keep things a certain shape is too rigid to be useful on the long run.

We tend to hold on tight to the things and situations that are familiar. We are afraid of the unknown. But here’s the thing. If change was bad for us and we could not adapt to new conditions, we wouldn’t have left the crib when we were babies.

Because we got out and explored the world, adapted and learned after each tumble and scar, day after day, year after year, we got this far. We embraced our lives as they were and we made changes when needed. Keep the same child-like wonder towards life, even if it all seems to go downhill and we feel like we’re losing control.

Stop. Breathe. Be calm. Relax every piece of our body. The best and as much as we can, we’re all different. Take a few minutes, days and even months to analyze the situation and figure out what we can and need to do next. Nothing is more important than our health and wellbeing.

"Stop. Breathe. Be calm."

STOP and analyze your current situation. How are you feeling? What can you still do well? What you need help with? What can you improve? What will make you feel better?

BREATHE. Close your eyes and take as many deep breaths as you need to feel your body relax. The tension, the stress and even fear only make the situation worse. Think about what your fears are. Then find at least 2-3 ways to make those situations better. What will you do to cope? To get better? To heal? Keep those in mind and then breathe deeply once more What will happen in the future is of no use now, you’ll get there at some point. The present situation needs more of your attention.

DO some of the actions that you thought will make you feel better for the time being. These might be some stretches, tea in bed, a nap, a movie / podcast, music, anything that makes you feel good in your own skin. Sleep is often times the best choice, plus it’s antiinflammatory. Use it as medicine.

ACCEPT where you’re at. EMBRACE your body. It is not a tool of the mind. It’s not here to only mechanically fulfill your demands. The brain and body are connected. Our minds will tell us that we can’t do certain things, they will try to convince us to stay away from other things. In the end, we can choose to try.

Train your mind to become flexible, to adapt to what the body needs at a certain moment. Of course, it will not be easy, but that’s not the point. We aim to learn, to transform our lives for the better. We can’t get it right from the first try. Growing takes time, takes sweat and powerful emotions. Choose to keep at it, continue and focus on getting better.

"We are not at war with ourselves."

It’s better to embrace change. It takes less energy than fighting it. We are not at war with ourselves. Be gentle, you’re already going through a lot, more stress will surely not make you feel any better. The harder you push, the more tired you’ll get. Why put on more weights to your body? It’s already trying to cope. Help it get better.

Our bodies are smart. Our brains are smart, although we might have lesions. We constantly learn from the experiences we have. You go through a rough time and focus only on the negatives? Your neurons will make more neuronal connections to support those negative experiences.

Reframe the bad ones for the good and soon, your brain will be able to see the bright side. I’m not talking about a flower-power kind of positivity, that makes you feel like you’re on LSD. Just a subtle process that allows you to focus on the blessings you still have, to be grateful for what you still can do. We are all different, so for some it might take longer, for others it will work quicker.

Stick to it. Make it a habit. Choose to do it everyday.

Teach yourself to get better by accepting the state you’re in at the moment. Use this as the rock-bottom that you begin to rebuild your body and your life from scratch. Help yourself heal.

What our reality looks like depends on what we focus our mids on. The brain sees it as a priority and works on fulfilling that plan. Accept your situation and move on. Make the choices that lead you to feeling better in your own skin.

As always, thank you for dropping by. Remember, transformation comes from within. Subscribe to receive SMart articles each weekday.

Sincerely,

Alex

#LifestyleFriday - October 2015 Monthly Favorites & Inspirational Findings

Well hello there! Welcome to a special #LifestyleFriday. Today I am rounding up all of my favorite things and inspirational findings that have influenced me during this October.

MONTHLY FAVORITES

A Pair of Apps

Let’s get into today’s topic by saying that as I’m writing this I’m listening to the rain. Is it cloudy in Bucharest? No. I’m using my Calm app. I discovered it in one of Mimi Ikonn’s videos, where she was mentioning it for relaxation purposes and/or meditation. So I looked it up, downloaded it and I simply love it! Natural sounds, relaxing sounds, meditation timers/routines and many more. You get a few predetermined sounds and functions, but can add more if you wish, either by downloading or by upgrading to Premium version. Go check it out and tell me what you think.

Instagram addict? Guilty! I created my profile in late July this year and since then, it has come to the point that this October it got my full atention and involvement. I find it to be very helpful in raising awareness for what this blog is all about. People get to see the behind-the-scenes of the smart healthy lifestyle I believe I can help you with. It makes the things I write be more relatable and… social. I recommend it for raising awareness, building your business or showing off your personal brand.

On to the next thing!

Movement & Exercise

I’ve been doing vinyasa yoga for over a year now, and I can totally see how much I progressed. This is a type of yoga that emphasizes flowing from one move to the next, concentrating on the synchronicity between move and breath. Things got easier with each day, and I needed more challenge.

And so I tried my first Power Yoga session. As all my yoga training, I also did this online, via my teacher Adriene (YouTube channel - Yoga With Adriene), in the comfort of my own home. I said to myself that if I can’t do this, there’s no problem. Just see how it goes. After 45 minutes I was so happy that tears got into my eyes. I had suceeded not only in doing it, but also completing the practice.

For those of you who are not familiar with Power Yoga, let me tell you it’s actually quite hard. The movements are swift and you get out of breath pretty quickly. You have to relax, tell yourself you’re going to do it, breathe deep, go with the flow and when you least expect it your practice is over. I totally encourage you to challenge your strenght. Slowly, at your own pace, but do it daily, and soon enough you will see results.

INSPIRATIONAL FINDINGS

The next topic I want to talk to you about is books and inspirational people. This month has been quite serendipitous in that aspect and has lead me to quite impressive finds from my point of view. Being such an independent spirit, I have always been interested in that kind of individuals that I can resonate with, that have that special kind of drive and that create wonderful things by questioning and challenging the status-quo of our society. The ones that stand up for what they believe in, work hard and are on a world-changing mission, on a world-improvement mission. I simply love that! I honestly do!

I act on intuition and insight and I truly believe that things appear in our lives at a certain time, a certain place and with a defined purpose. There are lessons to be learned, and we experience them through these serendipitous moments, where one thing leads to another and it all makes sense inside your core.

October’s Matrioshka-Like Teachers

They say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I must be more than ready, because this month I had seven teachers pop out almost from nowhere. Starting from late September and through this entire month, I have found or remembered the following teachers: Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, Robert Kiyosaki, Chase Jarvis, Simon Sinek, Gary Vaynerchuk and Lewis Howes. I wrote them in the order of appearance. The process of finding them resembles opening a Matrioshka doll: one lead to another, and another, and so on.

Summarizing all of the things these guys helped me understand and learn about myself is close to saying they put a mirror in my face and showed me what I might have forgotten through the years.

I remember now. I am a storyteller. Let’s talk about that for a bit.

What Have I Learned and a Few of My Beliefs

I believe in the fact that this world can be changed for the better, there are so many opportunities arrising every moment, day and night. The world is getting more connected than ever, the people find more and more kindered spirits and the ones who put up the work on a daily basis, live up to see their dreams come true.

Human beings are so resilient and so strong. I aim to help people change for the better using love, smarts and relationships, all summed up into life stories. With words or through photographs, or even both.  I aim to find that inner spark and light it on fire. We all have it. Don’t crush it even you’re crying and feeling helpless. It will pass.

The world is becoming a more social place than usual. People are once again forming tribes, but based on their similarities, not so much on their proximity. This world needs leaders that show the way, that open new opportunities and help through teaching. We are all beings lead by emotions and insights, some more than others. The leaders are ourselves. We can all lead. Lead this world to a better place.

We are constantly seeking to improve ourselves and the lifestyle we have. I believe that we have it in us to be better, smarter, kinder. I believe that we first have to like ourselves, we first have to discover what we really want and go act on it. We all have our “why”s. Translate those into actionable, real plans and do something for them daily. All positive things will prevail, all that is bad will fall off in the end. That is my belief. But it takes work!

PEOPLE AND THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS POST:

Calm app on iTunes

Instagram app iTunes

Yoga with Adriene YouTube Channel

Tim Ferriss - "The Four Hour Workweek"

Seth Godin - "Linchpin. Are You Indispensable?"

Robert Kiyosaki - "Rich Dad, Poor Dad"

Chase Jarvis

Simon Sinek - "Start With Why"

Gary Vaynerchuk - #AskGaryVee Show

Lewis Howes

If you are not yet familiar with the Monthly Trilogy I’m creating, I’ll explain it briefly. On the last week of every month I will post three reviews concerning experiences and lessons learned (#SMartWedesday), my multiple sclerosis status, health tips and a quick recipe or life hack (#HealthyThursday) and my monthly favorites together with inspirational findings (#LifestyleFriday).

That being said, this was all for this week’s #LifestyleFriday! Thank you for reading. To receive my next articles right into your inbox, subscribe to SMart Choice Lifestyle by filling your email adress in the box on the upper right corner Join my SMart Warriors list to receive access to Premium content and many more!

Have a most wonderful day!

Sincerely,

Alexandra

Contemporary Portraits. What The World Needs to Know About Multiple Sclerosis

This morning when I woke up, I thought about what my approach will be in today’s article. About what I would like to portray and talk about. And then it hit me! Por-tray… hmmm! A portrait is an image of an individual which other persons look at. How is MS seen by the world? And then the words began to flow upon my keyboard.

Let me talk to you about a few concepts first. There are two opposite terms in sociology, one referring to the people inside a certain group (ingroup), and the other reffering to the people outside that group (outgroup). Society itself is made out of different communities and subcultures. 

Human beings come together based on common interests, social status or gender. You get the point. The multiple sclerosis world community is the ingroup in this picture. The outgroup is society at large. Let's see how people get to know things.

Now, we all have the tendency to judge or label what we don’t know. It’s how our brain works. It quickly makes up its mind about a certain situation, object or person, so that it can better identify it and place it in the right category. We all have all kinds of categories. For the sake of this article, I’ll simplify them and talk about only two:

• the things we accept
• the things we reject

We tend to accept more the things we have information about, the things that are recommended by somebody else, the things that we like, the beautiful and healthy ones.

On the opposite part, we tend to reject the things we don’t know much about, the things nobody heard of, the things we don’t like, the ugly and sick ones.

The Portrait of MS Seen By Others

That leads me to the second point of my blog today. How are people with MS seen by others? By the outgroup? 

It’s kind of tricky, because multiple sclerosis is often an invisible disease. How do you explain it to people? For instance, you tell them it is a potentially debilitating condition that affects the brain and many of its capabilities and they imagine a person in a wheelchair, drooling and being cut out of this world. And it is truly not their fault.

We, the ones who have multiple sclerosis, keep maintaining the same perception on the condition in people’s mind. We hide it like it’s something contagious, disgusting or tabu, and then we get mad of the world for not being aware of our sufferings. Ahm… that’s a pretty strange behavior if you ask me. In general, you can’t help a person who doesn’t want to be helped.

Why we fear sharing MS?

We are afraid of being judged. We are afraid of being rejected. We are afraid of people feeling sorry for us. Because so is the public perception, that when you tell someone you are ill, they immediatelly think you are helpless and need to be cared after. In some cases of MS this might even be true, but for most people who have just been diagnosed, the situation is the opposite.

Many of us are young people, between the ages 20 and 40, in the prime of our lives, who have careers, plans, relationships and dreams. We are what society calls “normal”. And then add MS to the equasion. It makes you feel different. Not for yourself, but for the way you think people might look at you.

Having multiple sclerosis is scary, because we are confonted with the biggest fear of human beings: the fear of the unknown. We always tend to control the environment around us.

Since we begin to walk, the tendency to explore and conquer the reality around us is everpresent. Seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching, walking, jumping, throwing, running, climbing trees, riding a bike, a car, skiing are just ways in which we get to control what is surrounding us. But when your senses fail, you get scared. And you hide even more.

You lie to yourself and feel the curiosity of people around you. And you hide some more. You begin to look awkward and people stare. You walk funny and people point fingers. You trip and fall and people laugh. The world is spinning around you and what do you do? You hide still. You keep MS a secret. You make people ask themselves questions that you will never give answers to. People want to know. People NEED to know.

So far, the way most of the world perceives multiple sclerosis is as a frightening disease that threatens your capabilities to interact with the world. And it’s true. You already let it do that.

Multiple sclerosis might be a serious condition, a debilitating one and a humbling experience,  but every day I see battles. People that fight against it day by day, year by year. People who have courage, people who challenge themselves, people who keep going, people who have families, people who have dreams, people who have careers, people who are amazing human beings… people like everybody else. 

And the world ignores most of these stories. Because we’re afraid to tell them. Because we’re afraid to be judged. But we’re mostly afraid of being missunderstood. Of being alone. Of being not true to us.

Call to action

We must open the conversation. Tell people our stories. Tell them the good, the bad and the ugly truth about living with multiple sclerosis. We need to make people understand what MS is, what it does and what needs to BE done in order for it to stop randomly ravaging people all over the world.

So, I challenge you to a dialogue. To start a conversation about your life with MS, about the stories you feel like sharing to the world, the ones that you need to let go of your chest.

We are all human beings and need support. We need to face our fears. We are stronger together in the face of adversity.

Come, let us talk! The world is listening.

Sincerely,

Alexandra Celic

P.S. The Contemporary Portraits of MS Interview Project is starting soon, begining this August. Interested in knowing more? Send me an email at smartchoice.livingwithms@gmail.com and I’ll sign you in. An article detailing the whole experience will be posted next week. Thanks for the visit!

When Life Challenges You

MS is unforgiving. So you might say. So you might think. And therefore so you might act. Entering a destructive mindset like this will never bring anything good. Yes, MS is or can be very hard on you, your emotions, your family and basically to all the things you want to do in life. But getting boxed in by the sentence someone gave you or that you yourself have imagined means quitting. Quitting on life, quitting on all the loved ones and quitting on you. Are you a coward?

When I first got diagnosed I did not cry. I could not cry. The only reason I began to have tears in my eyes was when I saw the impact it had on my loved ones. Feeling responsible for another person's well-being and happiness has a huge toll on how you perceive what happens to you in life. I did not care about me, but about how I would live my life without causing them distress.

My mom only thought of wheelchairs, my father was in semi-denial and thought of the positives of this, my boyfriend did not want to think about any of this and wanted to just go on with life as it happened and deal with it when needed. They all wanted me to be healthy and happy. I just wanted to protect them from any suffering they might have because of this diagnosis.

MS is never only your problem. You can’t think of it as “I am sick and people around me must understand and fullfill my needs!”. I expect you’ve gone passed that phase long ago, when you finished kindergarden.

As grown-ups, as human beings, we need goals, we need purpose in life. We need to grow and develop all throughout our lives. If there’s one single thing left there to motivate you in your MS struggle, let it be caring and living for your loved ones, for your family.

Be part of their life as they are part of yours. Make sure they know what, how and why things are happening to you. And most of all, tell them how much you love them. Tell them you’re OK. Tell them you’ll get through this together.

I know people get scared. I know people might leave. And I know that scares the living hell out of you. You fear being left alone. You fear loneliness. You are a social creature and it’s OK to have those feelings.

As people, we need to get close and interract with other people. We need to create bonds in order to develop, grow and go through life. We create attachements, plans, dreams. We accumulate material things, statuses and a paycheck.

And then MS strikes. And then we get afraid. Afraid of losing all of this. All that we built for ourselves and for the ones around us. People are afraid of being left alone, are afraid of emptyness.

But life doesn’t have to be this way. Stand tall. Face all ods. You have more power than you know. You already know what you want to become and do.

Afraid that your loved ones will leave and fall apart from you? Remind them that you love them every day. Be there for them, and stay strong for them.

Afraid of losing your job? Accept that the employer wants his business to be profitable and move on. It’s a new start, a fresh opportunity to do what you want with your life.

Challenge yourself. You can start working for yourself, you can help others. You can provide value for others. You have been through MS and back, and therefore you can guide newly diagnosed people.

Keep a fresh mind, keep a warm heart and get out of your comfort zone. The more you do, the stronger you’ll feel. The stronger you’ll feel, the easier life will slowly but steady become.

When life challenges you, accept it. Find opportunities to grow. Find opportunities to learn. Find opportunities to design your own story. I trust that you can do it.

This is the SMart Choice mentality and the one I want to help you with. You can rise above the challenges life throws at you. You are your biggest asset.

Sincerely,

Alexandra

Question: What challenges do you face on a daily basis? Do you act on them, or just react and give up? Share your answers on Facebook, Twitter or in a comment down below. Thank you for your visit!

(photo credit)